Dont want to live

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by ProboyMate, Jul 7, 2019.

  1. ProboyMate

    ProboyMate Fapstronaut

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    I lost all my years up till now to severe anxiety and psychological pain the past 12 years from 13 year old to 25 now im still trying to fix it but I dont feel like living anymore after so long struggling I just realize my whole life has ben useless and I missed out on so mucb things what to do anybody can relate to this and has advice? Even if I dont want to live anymore im still trying to find a way out but im tired or trying
     
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  2. SuperPowers

    SuperPowers Fapstronaut

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    What helped me was the fact that I, you, nobody knows what happens after death, and while your heart still beats there is hope.

    All life difficulties, challenges, pain and suffering is there for a purpose, so you grow and become greater. Are you seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist?
     
  3. ProboyMate

    ProboyMate Fapstronaut

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    Yes i am seeing one
     
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  4. White Death

    White Death Fapstronaut

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    You're only 25, more things will happen in your life and you will discover more opportunities. You may feel that you've wasted 12 years of your life, but you still have at least what, 50-70 years left? I'm no psychologist nor an expert, but I guess the only advice I can give you, cliche as it sounds, is to focus on the present and not the past or future (I've read that focusing on the future causes anxiety and focusing on the past causes depression). That said, you should still work towards your goals in life. I really hope I helped.
     
  5. PaulPaul

    PaulPaul Fapstronaut

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    I was suicidal at 25 too. Now almost double that. So much happened in between I can hardly imagine what I was affraid of back then. I still have mij dark moody periods but .. it gets a lot better, it's worth it.
     
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  6. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    Your life is just getting started. There is plenty of time to get it on track. You are having awareness of what really matters quite early on. Well done! Keep moving forward. Do not ever give up the fight. We are here to support you in your battle against PMO!
     
  7. Self Worth

    Self Worth Fapstronaut

    don't put limits on yourself.
    you can be who ever you want to be.
    fake it till you make it.

    some of us developed thought patterns and traits that keep us depressed and anxious but you can steal traits and thought patterns from people, good ones that keep you happy and grounded.

    Recently I stole praise. this guy I know never missed an opportunity to praise someone, he praised me for something I didn't even realize was worth praising but then I did realize and I felt a little good. little things like that effect everyone especially the giver they feel really good they made someone happy. And this trait is infectious to your mind you start to develop more positive thoughts and patterns.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2019
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  8. Self Worth

    Self Worth Fapstronaut

  9. Pure Taste

    Pure Taste Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for that...
     
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  10. Pure Taste

    Pure Taste Fapstronaut

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    ProBoy I am a little younger than you (22). What you say really gets me. I feel the same very often. Just being scared of everything and in result of that: Not being able to do anything. This illusion of my Ego that I am some kind of wrong or unplaced, unwelcome is ripping appart. But there is always a little hope, a little road that I go. And for a moment there is light and happyness. It is hard to stay on that road, but we have to build it up. Get help to build it. Don´t be ashamed of being in need. Ask for love and you will get it.
     
  11. Can relate. I'm pretty much in the same situation right now. Lost all my life to anxiety and depression. Didn't really accomplished anything, not even had any fun in my younger years with friends, parties, girls, etc like other kids did. Just lots of junk food and video games to sedate myself, lots of time spending alone in my room. Trying to fix it too right now, but I am very mentally tired...

    But what somebody said above makes sense to me; we are only in our late/mid 20s. There are still 40 - 70 years, or more, in front of us, so it doesn't really make sense to give all that up cos of one fucked up decade. That's pretty much the only reason I am doing anything. If I would be 95 years old right now and had maybe 2 to 5 years left to live then it would make rational sense to just say fuck it and check out, but as it stands now it doesn't.

    If you start your life now after 12 years you will be where you could be now, if you would have started your life 12 years ago. But then you will just have normal life. Sure, you gonna be 12 years late, but when you think of it in terms of many decades, that one lifetime lasts, 12 years late isn't that big of a deal. There are people who die at 98 and waste all of it, so we have to be grateful we started to get our shit together early. That's kind of how I look at it right now.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2019
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  12. SuperPowers

    SuperPowers Fapstronaut

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    A few things that can improve your life.

    1) Exercise. Mind blowing isnt it? I know, but are you exercising? You should be exercising 5 days a week, even if its just getting out doors for 20 minutes a day. Id like to see you going on 1 hour walks daily or going to the Gym or whatever, just find some form of exercise that you can at least get to enjoy. It will build self esteem and ultimately confidence. One thing I learned through my journey is that nobody is going to get you out of this, there is no white knight that will come along and save you, its your job, you have to do it and only you can help yourself. Having said that get as much support as possible. I can tell you to exercise and I know it will change your life but if you just read this and go on as you were nothing changes, and you can only look at the person in the mirror.

    The other thing I learned is to get out of your comfort zone, get uncomfortable, do the hard things and work hard, and metaphorically speaking if you cant walk get on your knees and crawl. It's tough but it builds character and are you going to care about what people think if you're doing the hard things, no, that's how self esteem is built.

    2) Meditate. Break away from the ego, and the constant thoughts, and the fear that holds you back, maybe you can build courage, which is feeling the fear and doing it anyway, in fact there is a book of the same title.

    3) Journal daily. Get your thoughts out. How can you do it better next time? Why were you successful?

    4) Educate yourself. I believe Dr Aziz has a book on social anxiety, get the kindle off amazon.

    5) I've never had anxiety as a condition so to speak but my understanding is it is related to fear. Ask yourself what am I scared of and work with your psych. Is it fear of not being liked? Fear of things not going your way? How about if you wrote the worst case scenario out, see, it's not that bad is it? Find the cause of your anxiety and work with that. I think allow yourself to mess up and look bad, allow yourself to get rejected, and listen up now because this could change your life quick smart, you ready, do the thing you fear, and over time you will fear it less and less and in the end you may have a particular strength in that area and I think you will one day, I believe it was designed that way.

    I say let go of this "I lost my life up to now" BS because I lost most my life to weed, not anxiety, and I believe that we are immortal and life never ends and this life we live now in this body is just a tiny tiny fragment, its nothing, its just a speck or a drop in the ocean. Having said that we are only certain of this one life so don't be like me and try make your life happen at 40, you're 25, almost a baby and I could only dream to go back and be 25 again with the information there is out there.

    6) Learn to be carefree, that should be your goal. Indifferent.

    7) You say you're sick of trying, well how about not trying so much. Watch how the world responds to you when you don't try so much. Focus on what you want rather than what you don't want

    8) I think this one is big. Drop perfection and focus just on improvement. Are you 2% better? Great, now build on that. Perfection and not wanting to mess up will have you real anxious so allow yourself to be imperfect.

    9) Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Just be better than what you were, just be 1% improved and you're good, but if you hide away due to fear and anxiety things wont get better. You need exposure. Actually that reminds me of rejection therapy. Don't take this the wrong way but I think people with anxiety care way too much and take themselves way too seriously. You're not all that okay, and you're not that bad either, you're human

    10) And remember that we are all human and there are no perfect Gods of humans out there, only flawed human beings like you and me.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2019
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  13. PaulPaul

    PaulPaul Fapstronaut

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    Nr. 8 is so important at that age. You think you have to be great at this and that and act like this and that. Meet expectations (dad ..). But really, you don't have to. It is your life, just walk it in the direction you want. Keep your eyes open and you will find enough good things.
     
  14. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    Proboy,

    Hit us up. How are you feeling today?
     
  15. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

    This song blew me away.

    only bad part is the girl voice. don't like it, THIS IS AMAZING! ! !
     
  16. Fame56

    Fame56 Fapstronaut

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    I hope things get better for you man. I can relate to feeling down but have Faith that the grass is greener on the other side!
     
  17. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    I was having the same problems/issues when being 25 (only six years ago) when I lived in a foreign country 9000 km away from home. I felt like I had stagnated in life and that it wasn't getting any better than that.
    It took me another 4-5 years before I could really start making the changes necessary because I had recently hit rock-bottom back then. It was a decision that I know would take a long time (probably many years) but I was ready to make those sacrifices in order to live a better and more fulfilling and prosperous life. Simply because there weren't any better alternatives but continuing on the same destructive PMO-path.
    What I also didn't realize then was that your 20's simply suck for most men since biologically, their SMV is still quite low (while peaking for women), they haven't gotten too much life experience and not been advancing very far in their careers. Most of that will slowly change the day you turn 30, especially if you are on the right path overall.
    At least, to stop fapping a few months before turning 30 was a life-changer for my part and realized that I have great things ahead of me during my 30's if continuing.
     
  18. ProboyMate

    ProboyMate Fapstronaut

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    Still shit man I was neglected in my childhood parents divorced and didnt have both of them in my life anymore plus a shitty new boyfriend of my mother to make it even worse after that so i had severe anxiety and heart palpitations since like 9- 10 years old probably, I didnt realize i was in pain till around 20 then started antidepressants at 21 and quit them at 23 after they didnt do enough now I am worried if I have pssd and this worry kills me everyday and saps my motivation because I tried these meds and its in my head daily with still having anxiety its became less due to alternative therapy but its not enough yet. It also seems like ive numbed most of my emotions out and cant feel most of them anymore or something like that.
     
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  19. SuperPowers

    SuperPowers Fapstronaut

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    FUCKING EXERCISE!

    You don't feel like it?
    I don't care
    MOVE!
    Stop feeling sorry for yourself

    ACCEPT your past, it cannot be changed
    ACCEPTANCE is the answer
    Resistance / non acceptance will be your grave

    You need to do what you don't feel like doing
    The worst thing you can do is sit still.

    My parents are narcissist (NPD), I got neglected socially and emotional
    You have traumas (it seems) and you fear it happening again
    Ask yourself in a journal, what am I scared of?
    What thoughts trigger my palpitations and anxiety, and work with your psychologist. I would also consider changing psychologist if you have been with that psych for more than 8 sessions (or a year) because there may be someone else that has more for you. and you should be having sessions every month. Also consider additional online therapy from betterhelp.com

    You need to find your self worth, and that comes just in being human. Your value is infinite.

    Can you just tell me, what is your problem? You've had some traumas (it seems) in the past and now you relive them in your mind. Those things no longer exist but you relive it in your mind, now tell me, who is the greater criminal?

    You want help but you don't even tell us what the problem is. Anxiety. Take meds. When does your anxiety come up? I told you what to do. It sounds like your anxiety has paralized you from taking action. Re-read my previous post. Its action. Face the fear, even when you feel it, little by little as you expose yourself to the fear, it will diminish until the point you have a strength, but its going to take time. This is action based, there is no magic answer that will change your life over night, its like building muscle or getting fit, how long does that take, but when you don't take action you stay were you are. So i'll question you, what measures, what actions are you taking to change your situation? Until you change your thinking nothing will change. You cant solve a problem with the same thinking that created it. Change your thoughts, find hope, and focus on what you want. If you fear hitting the wall, you'll hit the wall guaranteed! Focus instead on the where you want to go.

    The easiest thing to do is to exercise so you can start feeling better. I'm going to check back with you tomorrow and if you havent got outside the house for at least a 20 minute walk I'm done speaking with you. Would be good if you can stretch your body out after that too to relax the tension in your body, maybe do a google but get that walk in otherwise you stay stagnant. You wanna move forward and I can lead you to the water but I can't make you drink. I know its hard, I know you don't want to, the answer is to get out of your comfort zone, get out of your head and into your body, and you do that with exercise and meditation.

    Focus on the next 3 months, what do you need to do to be on track towards your 1 year goals? But in my experience, the most important thing is what will I do TODAY! And what will I do TOMORROW! And you know what's even more important than what will I do today? Its what will I do right now? There is no "later", the time is now! Exercise and you'll feel better, you'll sleep better, and you will handle your stress better, and friend, you'll be happier. I'm here for you, but I want you to help yourself, and what do you need to do? ________?

     
  20. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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    The day I stopped dwelling on my past was also the day I could actually start focusing on the present, the future and do the best of the time I have right now. Despite having been traumatized, socially conditioned and held back for years due to many tragic events and people (who were bad for me) over the past two decades, I realized that the only way right now is forward and that I can have the future life I really want as long as I dedicate myself to it, start taking action and enjoy the several step journey that's ahead of me.
     
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