"Don't PMO December" 2017. Keep on rebooting. Official PMO-free accountability thread.

Keep trying man dont give up

 

I'm on day 13. I've been getting up really early for the past week, and I'm already seeing benefits in the size department. Also mood, I'm so happy for no reason. I have a good feeling about this current streak.

 

It would have been day 17 today, if I had not MO this time. I don't watch Porn but ya movies and other stuff like that excites me or else one can listen to those sounds. I made a mess, shit!! I had this image in front of me while I was busy doing bad habit, but still I went on and Bam!! I fall crashing to the ground and here starts Day 0. I don't understand why I tell myself this is the last time I'm doing and it never ends. I'm 21 year old, soon to be 22, but unable to cope up with this situation. I'm standing nowhere compared to what my girlfriend asks me to be. She believes that one day I would come to her place and propose her. I can't understand why these thoughts come up whenever I screw up like this.
Now listing the things which I tried to access while doing the NoFap Challenge:
Day 1- Very Vigilant and serious about this habit, read this article- https://www.google.com/url?q=http:/...-guide-everbody-should-read-before-nofap.html
Day 5- Started watching few videos on youtube, but nothing vulgar.
Day 7- Was very busy studying for exams
Day 8- Didn't had time to open my laptop.
Day 9- Was searching for some books on German language on torrent and ended up on bad stuff which shows the thumbnail of what lies in that torrent. Edged that night. Mistake!!
Day 11- Searched for movies as it was weekend and ended up downloading none, rather again viewing those bad torrents which shows thumbnails of pstars, shit made a mistake!!
Day11-14 Busy either because had family with me or had an exam
Day 15- Searched for shuffle dance but rather watched bum moves, Another Mistake...
Day 16- Got a HDD from friend which had movies, "not P", but some of them were hidden, I don't know why? I took a look to it and saw that it had some form of sexuality.
Day 17- All alone with that HDD, my mind quickly searched for that best scene which would give me Dopamine shot. That one best scene from various hidden movies. Got nothing which could satiate me. Ended up watching that bum shaking gal, and fapping. BIG MISTAKE
The link of an article which I have posted above states that, whatever comes one should not watch girls ANYWHERE, whether online or offline, but I thought that this is not gonna affect me because I don't watch girls as an object and at later point, I convinced myself that this is not your situation. In the virtual world, while alone, I dream them as an object which are made to move their asses. DAMN IT man, I've become such a BAD person and I am unable to realize it. What if one day my girl friend catches me in this situation, she won't talk to me my entire life. And I've no one except her. I won't be able to survive with this habit and that too alone.
Now, that I've written records of what I have been doing, feeling, trying, searching, I know how to deal with it. Maybe it's becoming tough for me, because an year earlier I had a streak of 120 days. And now, 1 or 2 weeks. #I_CHALLENGE_MYSELF_2018

 

almost halfway through the month, birthday coming up soon, then Christmas, then new year. history of being a miserable time for me. but i have a present already, one i am giving to myself. a nofap present called success. the new year will be fap free.

 

Day 14 done! Nearly halfway through the month and I'm fast approaching the end of the 30 day challenge

 

Hey HashMachine. Relapses and bad times are part of the process. That doesn't make them okay, but you can't beat yourself up over it. Believe in yourself. It sounds like you know the drill, but it can help to have a glimpse into other people's experiences. I just told me GF, and it sucked but it was worth it (I wrote more about that here https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/erratic-erotic-eradication.124647/#post-1182614 ). This thrives in the dark and when we are vulnerable, so make yourself less vulnerable. Even if it's too much to do everything you need to, you can do something, and progress is what matters. I'm a bit older than you, and I know those ideas. But honestly, getting free is the only thing that matters, however long it takes. Besides, you don't even have any real comparison, only what you have imagined other people experience; and even if you have heard some stories, your sample size is far too small to make a good judgement. You do you. That is enough.

 

Day 14. Excited to get deeper into this. I'm feeling confident about this streak

 

Day 15 done! That's officially the halfway point of Don't-PM December and I'm so happy to have signed up to this. Christmas is gonna be great and it's good to be home with family Bring on the second half of the month!

 

Day 15! Halfway point, excited for the second half. Am already seeing changes in my personality and how I'm sortve unconsciously becoming more social.

 

Day 16 done! More excited for Christmas than I have been in a long time because I know how much better it'll be now that I'm on nofap.

 

Day 16! Feeling so happy and greatful to have made it this far Am looking forward to finisihing off this month PMO free

 

I Guess this december is just going to suck as always, because i just relapsed, 2 days before my birthday even. FUCK!!! oh well. back on the grind.

 

Day 17 done! Things are going great

 

Day 17, urges hit me hard this morning but still moved past it. Dreams have been very vivid as of late.

 

Day 18 done! I had a P dream, it wasn't a wet dream though which I'm happy about, but hoping not to experience any more of that kind of dream.

 

Day 18

 

Day 19 done! Had another P dream which was bad, again not a wet dream but frustrating because it means when you wake up it's on your mind.

 

I'm starting this for 90 days! I've never done NoFap before, but I'm ready to take control of my life.

 

Day 19, major urges today but still on it

 

I don’t know if you can help me out but Since yesterday a very different type of relapse! I noticed I had a wet dream too! So that caused me to pmo out of fear! I edged for almost an hour and had no sleep at all! After that I felt dizzy and lethargic! Brain fog was severe! I don’t know what to do! This is really bad case! I want to recover from this feeling! My penis did get erection some parts of the day and even half an hour ago! But now I am going to bed and I noticed my penis is not getting hard and it’s all shiverled up! Big issue is now I have a tingling feeling on the tip of my penis! I don’t know if it is the feeling I am about to ejaculate or peeing! I had a horrible crazy day! I need help to recover from this! I keep peeing and I don’t know if I have semen in urine! What to do? This is going crazy! I can’t think straight! Help me out brother! So much anxiety!