Don't lower your standards

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by ShadyPerson, Jun 28, 2019.

  1. ShadyPerson

    ShadyPerson Fapstronaut

    I see way too often people saying that when you have trouble finding a partner, you should lower your standards.

    No. Don't do it. Only time you should lower your standards would be if they were unrealistic as in there's barely anyone who could fit them.

    Why do I say that you shouldn't lower your standards? Well.

    1. You deserve better. Many of us have extremely low self esteem and hard time loving ourselves. But I can assure you that you don't deserve to live a life of mediocrity and dissapointment. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be content. Stop hating on and thinking less about yourself.

    2. If you do lower your standards, you can never fully forgive yourself or the world for it. Every time you see above your standards good looking girl you'll feel yearning. Every time you look in to the mirror you'll feel you're not good enough. You'll learn to resent yourself, your life and even your partners, for they are merely reminders of how you gave up on your goals. How you weren't good enough. They aren't what you wanted, but merely what you settled for. A part of you will know it and remind you. It's not fair for you and it's not fair for your future partners.

    3. You can make it. Even if you aren't the most good looking person you can make it. Although you might have a hard time making the good first impression, in the long run it's not your looks that matter. It's who you are and how you represent yourself. Don't lower your standards, up your game. Are you weak and fat? Start exercising and eating healthy. Are you socially awkward? Learn some social skills. Do you feel like you are a failure who hasn't achieved anything? Figure out what you want to do with your life and make it happen. There's always something you could do better.

    I'd like to change my earlier statement. There are actually two reasons to lower your standards. One is what I said earlier: they are unrealistic. The other is this: It's okay to lower your standards if you're a whiny ass bitch who rather gives up on his/her dreams when things get difficult than actually tries their best to achieve greatness. Anything worth having will require some effort.

    Seriously for a forum intented for self-development (because fighting addiction is self-development) you guys talk a lot about giving up on your standards. Like wtf I'm just a guy in the internet but imho you should be really fucking ashamed on yourselves.
  2. Renewed_soul

    Renewed_soul Fapstronaut

    i agree with all you said 100% man
  3. F328

    F328 Fapstronaut

    Yea after reading a book called dating play book for men .I realized it didn’t have to lower my standards I just had to raise the standards of my self because if I feel like I suck and look like I suck I probably suck unless I change that and feel confident and tough then I’ll tough out hard times like fapping urges or talking to the girl I’m really attracted to and truly be happy and honest about what I want if I lower that standard I won’t be honest and want to not be in that relationship at all in the long term
  4. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    You get out of life what you're willing to tolerate.

    Higher standards means difficulty, uncertainty, and risks. More risks, more failures, and also more success. Delayed gratification. You have to grow as a person. You have to face your dissatisfaction and drive yourself towards what you really want out of life.

    Lowering your standards allows you to escape all of that. It allows you to be comfortable, certain, and safe. Less risks means less failures (and also less success). You get to conserve energy and protect yourself from harm. Why take risks in social interactions when you can indulge in porn? Why do something difficult that might not work when you can eat junk food and escape into netflix? Why invest in delayed gratification long term outcomes when you can consume things that feels good in the short term instant gratification?

    The bigger the obstacles, the bigger the rewards.

    It's up to everyone to figure out what they want their quality of their life to be like and what they're willing to do to get it.
    koolpal and F328 like this.

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