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DON'T BECOME SEX NEGATIVE!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Lheastwoo, Jun 27, 2017.

  1. Jun 27, 2017 #1
    Lheastwoo

    Lheastwoo Fapstronaut

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    Dunno if this is the right thread but here I go,

    So sexual anorexia,
    I've been reading up on it and it seems like the same coin, different side. The coin being addiction. Most science agrees that when it comes to compulsive sexual behavior (or the contested term "sex addiction") that sexual anorexia just aggravates the cycle. It is the same cycle as addiction, having preoccupation with the thoughts, shame, and relapse.

    I don't want to rock the boat in anyway, and many have found recovery through things such as "hard mode". So in no way do I want to belittle the process that works for these people. I know what we are talking about is a slippery slope for some, so keep forward with what works for you! But, I'm just wondering what your general thoughts are.

    Perhaps we have invested so much negativity into our sexuality that we are building ourselves in some cases to function on an unhealthy level. As human beings we are built to enjoy and indulge sexuality, barring any mentally disabled people, is the goal not to feel clean and pure in our sexual life? To feel "simple and clean"? To undo the damage most inadvertently did to ourselves.

    We can thank technology for hijacking our brains that were not prepared for this leap in sexuality. :( it sucks

    I'm just afraid of ruining myself even further, I want love and intimacy, and I don't want the pain of thinking about the turmoil porn put me into every time I masturbate to or have sex with my girlfriend or wife. (future, I have neither at the moment) If we think about neuroplasticity and what not, if we associate a negative feeling with an action enough times, the negative feeling will become involuntary.

    Sorry if I am reposting something that has already been discussed, I just couldn't find much on it here.

    I have some links to articles with cited journals if anyone wanted to read further into it.

    I think my question is pretty straightforward though, I just wanted to know what you guys are doing to avoid becoming sex negative in this process. I'm fearful for all of us and I feel some good advice is needed in this area.
     
    Lheastwoo, Jun 27, 2017
    Lheastwoo, Jun 27, 2017
    #1
    YngwieWanksteen, Atlanticus and Hermin like this.
  2. Jun 27, 2017 #2
    ErikJS

    ErikJS Fapstronaut

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    thanks for what you posted. i worry about this too and one of the things that attracted me to this site is that it is sex positive. personally, i feel i just need to break away from the PMO that is isolating me and keeping me away from people so I can get myself back. I hope to put myself out there socially after my time away from PMO. I'm hoping non PMO will help me connect better with people and instead of being so sex focused, I'll hopefully see the whole person and be less prone to objectification. hope this helps.
     
    ErikJS, Jun 27, 2017
    ErikJS, Jun 27, 2017
    #2
    green lion eating the sun, Lheastwoo, Hardboiled24 and 1 other person like this.
  3. Jun 27, 2017 #3
    BattleOfWolf359

    BattleOfWolf359 Guest

    This is one the least sex-negative sites of its type I've ever frequented.
     
    BattleOfWolf359, Jun 27, 2017
    BattleOfWolf359, Jun 27, 2017
    #3
    Baller123 and ErikJS like this.
  4. Jun 27, 2017 #4
    Hermin

    Hermin Fapstronaut

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    True. Many here treat sexual lust as a disease. We all agree that excesive porn is bad. But maybe in small doses it is not 100% bad. Artist have painted nude scultures and paintings for decades. I am sure they had some similar effect on people as porn does. There were sex addicts before photography was invented.
     
    Hermin, Jun 27, 2017
    Hermin, Jun 27, 2017
    #4
    Lheastwoo and ErikJS like this.
  5. Jun 27, 2017 #5
    I WILL QUIT

    I WILL QUIT Fapstronaut

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    OK I see you have to break the addiction cycle in order to do that you have to break the glass ceiling and get out of the hole. Meaning your body wants to jack off but you have to say no the best and fastest way to reboot is hard mode
     
    I WILL QUIT, Jun 27, 2017
    I WILL QUIT, Jun 27, 2017
    #5
  6. Jun 27, 2017 #6
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    NoFap is not all about self control, but having a better life. I like how you said that. I feel like NoFap is negative, but it is not! it is positive.
     
    Deleted Account, Jun 27, 2017
    Deleted Account, Jun 27, 2017
    #6
    Lheastwoo and ErikJS like this.
  7. Jun 27, 2017 #7
    Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

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    I love sex :D I do it every day if I can :)
     
    Happy Man, Jun 27, 2017
    Happy Man, Jun 27, 2017
    #7
    Hermin and ErikJS like this.
  8. Jun 27, 2017 #8
    YngwieWanksteen

    YngwieWanksteen Fapstronaut

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    Bravo. Thank you for posting this. Lately I think I might be coming off as opinionated, brash and arrogant but people need to be aware of becoming sheep to NoFap. You don't have to go scorched earth on everything.

    It's akin to a re-education camp. Send me to one and I will come out feeling and thinking whatever way I allow myself to be trained.
     
    YngwieWanksteen, Jun 27, 2017
    YngwieWanksteen, Jun 27, 2017
    #8
    Hermin and Lheastwoo like this.
  9. Jun 28, 2017 #9
    green lion eating the sun

    green lion eating the sun Fapstronaut

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    being myself a p and sex addict I had to go with abstinence. It was the first step. It wasn't too hard and honestly now I feel in control of myself. I felt I had to stop having sex in order to win over my addictions. I am getting back to my true self. last time i had sex was 5 months ago

    For now I don't need really sex so much, maybe a guy to hold me when I wake up in the morning would be nice but I am not interested really in getting laid. Never been. Maybe I would be able to have sex in a normal way I reckon now but I have more important things to take care of. I wanna keep feeling alright and proud of myself, that's all it counts :)
     
    green lion eating the sun, Jun 28, 2017
    green lion eating the sun, Jun 28, 2017
    #9

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