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Does your Mother know about your PM addiction?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Mr. McMarty, May 29, 2019.

  1. I'm 52 and haven't lived with my mother for a few decades.
    When I was a teenager, my mother told me that masturbation was OK. She must've noticed the fapping noises and semen smell on my sheets, but she never said anything. I think my dad had a low sex drive, so she was glad to see that I was horny like her.
     
    Mr. McMarty and Deleted Account like this.
  2. My parents told me masturbation is okay too, and I don't think that's completely wrong. It's porn that's the bigger issue here, but I'm of the opinion that masturbation in and of itself isn't inherently a bad thing. If I had kids, I would tell them the same thing but I would also strongly advise against porn. ;)
     
  3. Wayne Kest

    Wayne Kest Fapstronaut

    No, otherwise she would have sent me to a psych ward.
     
  4. Yes. My mother is an addict so she saw all the signs of addiction in me and while I didn’t get my PA addiction from my mother, I was brought up by my mother who suffers from distrust, fear of intimacy, and perfectionism. You could say I inherited my addictive personality, which isn’t to say I’m not accountable for my actions; I am.
     
  5. Just a question, what are you thinking to, when you fap? stop being so native guys.
    Porn and masturbation are linked together, we all know the "I can control my self" and little by little u do it more and more. Thats how the devils works, little by little and he is veeeeeeeeery patient, he knows human really well.
    How did Adam and his spouse may peace be upon them, ate from the forbidden tree? Do you think that right after God put them in paradise and told them not to eat iblis came said "eat it" and they said yes? No, Adam wasnt stupid, at the beginning he wouldnt even talk to him because God warned him. But little by little he forgot, and iblis came again and again, and one day he began to talk with iblis. Iblis would give them nice tips and wanted to be trusted by them, "hey i know a nice place here" and he showed to them good places but little by little he was getting him near to the forbidden tree. And after a thorough plan that lasted maybe for more than 1000 years we dont know, he made them eat from the tree.
    "O mankind, eat from whatever is on earth [that is] lawful and good and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. Indeed, he is to you a clear enemy.
    He only orders you to evil and immorality and to say about Allah what you do not know.
    And when it is said to them, "Follow what Allah has revealed," they say, "Rather, we will follow that which we found our fathers doing." Even though their fathers understood nothing, nor were they guided?
    The example of those who disbelieve is like that of one who shouts at what hears nothing but calls and cries cattle or sheep - deaf, dumb and blind, so they do not understand."

    [2;168/171]

    "And We had already taken a promise from Adam before, but he forgot; and We found not in him determination." [20;115]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 8, 2019
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  6. First i think that the cancer example isnt apropriated. No one chose to get a cancer and it is from God (even if we know that doin this and this will give you more chances to get one, but how many "clean" people" got one?). Whereas masturbation was our choice. There is no shame to have a cancer and we have to talk about it with our spouse if one day we have one, for me this seems obvious.
    Fapping addiction began because of us (even if maybe there was a lot of temptation, we had the finla choice and are responsible of our acts for 99% of us). So fapping is a sin and a mistake, and as i told you before, the best thing to do with sins is to hide it from the people eyes and try our best to change it.
    Talking to our wife will maybe wont change our plans ( but God knows better, and i i said telling his sins to others is a bad thing), but how do you know that it wont chnage your wife life? Maybe you are gonna destroy her life and change your relation forever, and maybe you could avoid that with some willpower and courage.
    The moment she discovers it i think that its a good thing to ask her help, but before i think that it is a bad idea.
     
  7. Yeah, I told mostly the people that it would impact in my life - including my parents, family, and some friends. I've found that it requires a level of trust to be able to tell someone. I decided to tell them because I believe (and still do) that they deserved to know and that I deserved to be free of it. I also believed it would be a hard journey ahead, with ups and downs, and it has been.

    At the end of the day I did the right thing by myself and by the people I care about. Here I was 14 years into a 'secret' addiction, revealing the darkness in my heart and that I wanted to get better, and I got the help that I needed. The relief I felt was massive.

    Instead of shame and disdain, I received love and understanding. That's not something everyone gets in life and, for that reason, I count myself very fortunate. My life has improved significantly since then, and it has taken work from my part, but without that support (and the support I got here) I'd be nowhere.. most likely.
     
    Christian Fox likes this.
  8. I appreciate your feedback. It's becoming very clear your point of view, while idealistic cannot fully yet include instances of cognitive dissonance--since you are not married and unable to extrapolate how great a paradigm shift marriages provides.

    I want to express that those who become married are instantly plunged into a world where they realize caring for someone else requires sacrifice. This is what marriage means.

    There is an even greater loss of self when one chooses *or not* to have children; as one must care for them as well.

    I think the oneness of marriage is designed to eliminate facing ANY thing as an individual again.

    While arguing this, I can easily see why PMO is so deadly... Just to understand it you must separate "that which God joined together."

    Such a separation causes disruption to marriage, and ultimately to families.
     
    Christian Fox and Yep u do like this.

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