Does anyone live alone?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Ji83j, Mar 5, 2019.

  1. Ji83j

    Ji83j New Fapstronaut

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    I view getting your own place as something as an achievement along the same lines as getting a girlfriend and having a healthy sex life.

    Being young and the markets the way they are it’s difficult for young people to get their own places. I for example still live with my parents and I don’t like how my life is, especially with my addition to porn and PMO.

    I’d like to have my own place but part of me also thinks the loneliness would worsen my issues.
     
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  2. I live by myself and it’s great. My house is a mess and I don’t have to worry about what anyone thinks about it.

    I’d like to have a woman in my life. But I’ve given up on that ever happening. And I’m turning into a recluse when not at work or on one of my trips, so I’m good.

    If you want to socialize after you get your own place just invite people over or go out to their flats. When I used to be sociable I had people over frequently.
     
  3. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    When I was in my worst situation I jumped out of my parents house 19 years ago and started living alone.
    It wasn't easy but I don't feel regret for making this decision.

    Maybe for you it's different. If you have time, you can still work on your issues and prepare yourself for the big step.
     
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  4. expressyourself

    expressyourself Fapstronaut

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    I moved out some months ago, and damn I was shocked about the lack of energy that has been hitting me hard because suddenly I have to think about all sorts of things that I never even thought I should be doing. But again, it comes with freedom in some sense as well, but I sometimes miss to live with my parents as well and get everything served.

    Although it is a huge milestone to move out, and if you feel ready, go for it!
    It's nice because you can focus more on your self-improvement I think, having your own space really makes it more comfortable to delve deep into personal development.
     
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  5. OnTheEdge

    OnTheEdge Fapstronaut

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    I moved out at 21 and I'm 33 now and have lived alone for that whole time. I moved out because I felt suffocated living with my parents. I've moved up the property ladder twice and have pretty much set myself up for life financially. A few years ago I decided that I would never want to get married for fear of a woman 'taking' my house through a divorce. I have since decided that's an irrational attitude. At times it's nice to go back to an empty place where I can do whatever i want and it's nice to know I am living independently from others. Sometimes it's massively lonely, though. It's something that has many opportunities for self improvement and life skills i.e. DIY skills, money management, self-reliance. As alphaparty said, try and use it as a platform for self improvement and don't let it turn into a tool for isolating yourself.
     
  6. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    As with many other things in life, I don't think it's a black-and-white answer. Maybe living alone is the right answer for you, but you'd really have to try it out to see for yourself.

    I live alone. I have lived alone for about two years now. I like the independence, I like the freedom to make my living space completely my own. However, cabin fever is certainly an issue (especially considering I work from home, so I spend a lot of time alone at my place). I often feel like I need to get out of the house. However, I don't think that's a negative thing. I like getting out of the house and seeing people and breathing fresh air and stuff.
     
  7. Bretto

    Bretto Fapstronaut

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    Have you considered a share house? It might be a stepping stone to eventually living by yourself. I work full time and live with two uni students about the same age, I can definitely afford to live by myself I just like the social aspect of living with other people. If you find good people then it’s an alternative to living with your parents, I love my parents but staying back there over holidays starts to drive me up the wall. A share house provides you more freedom without the financial burden of moving out on your own. Just makes sure your housemates are good people!
     
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  8. Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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    I moved out a couple years ago and lived and worked for myself. I lived in a sharehouse and felt quite awkward being new in a house where people already knew eachother. But after a couple months I felt much and much more comfortable and now after 3 years even though I already moved out I got a really good friend from this.

    It's amazing to see how you are as a person when you are alone. I travelled alone for a year in New Zealand and got to learn so much about myself. Whenever I am alone in my own thoughts without anything (no pc, no internet, no friends or family around me) I know what kind of person I am in that situation and that means the world to me. I started exercising like I did never before, took the initiative to talk to so many strangers. I became very disciplined etc. Lived in a poor insulated campervan in the winter season there for 3 months, waking up every night from the cold and still being the first person arriving at my job making sure everything was ready. This coming from the lazy porn addicted fuck that I was (still am a little bit).

    Move out, become lonely and feel miserable.. it's all good to experience these things, because you will try to overcome your fears of talking to people, talking to girls or whatever fears you have. You will become a better person.
     
  9. PowerOn

    PowerOn Fapstronaut

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    @Ji83j I think it's great that you're taking a look at your circumstances and questioning how you might shake things up for the better. It may seem minor, but those questions make a difference.

    I currently live alone as I just torpedoed my relationship of 5 years due to my PMO addiction. So my current take on the situation is a bit skewed. But generally speaking of my experiences between relationships, living alone has it's advantages and disadvantages. I think you'll find one thing to be true: Living alone seems like a status or achievement when you aren't doing it, but once you get there, no one really cares and you won't either after a short period...adaptation definitely apples here.

    Since leaving my parents home years ago, I have basically lived in big cities, so much of my younger days were in roommate situations while starting out professionally. And I have to say it was great, perhaps something to consider for yourself. It's social, you can have a built in support network of friends and communication (my whole life I have had a hard time with feelings of loneliness, even if I treasure alone time), it's economical...if you're just starting out, my personal advice would be to take the extra money you would otherwise put to a solo rent and try new things whether it's activities, travel, lessons, hobbies. The material possession stuff will come in due time and you'll see how little it matters compared to truly living your youth (sorry to presume, I don't actually know your age).

    Living alone can be liberating but challenging. It can be really motivating when everything is "on you." You may find you want to take care of your things with more effort than when they were provided by your parents, for example. You will probably also have a new found respect for how dang much they did for you. You can structure your time and space as you like. But that's a double edged sword. You have to take full responsibility and action if you're lonely or something needs to get done. Depending on the nature of your PMO triggers, that could be a bit of a risk, with the built in privacy/isolation.

    Sorry to ramble, just some perspective. If you have more specific questions, I'm happy to share what I can.
     
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  10. lirider

    lirider Fapstronaut

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    I think living with your parents has this stigma of "Grow up already and move out" here in the U.S.A. but that's only if you let it. Like Poweron said "Once you get there, nobody will care, and neither will you". I lived with my parents up to from my 30's to my early 40's (I know this is not normal). I live in a high rent, tourist area and the idea of paying a boatload of money to a landlord to live in their basement when I could give it to my parents for bills made sense. You should help out with the yardwork, house repair, food etc. I've had roomates in my 20's and my parents were the best roommates out of all of them. Sure we annoy each other sometimes but they're family and we get over it. My brother was there too (disclosure:we are Asian) but in our culture it's not frowned upon. We both have good jobs. Our situation is different maybe in that we owned property from back in the 80's so we saved to build. I now live in my own house on the family compound but still see my parents. When you're in trouble your parents will truly be the ones who give a shit trust me (health issues). Some friends come over as I live in the same town I grew up in and they are life long friends but I guess my point is work on your career, hobbies, socializing. You wouldn't believe how many young people are in your position. BUT I did fap in my room for 14 years at my parent's house. I'm not proud so the main drawback was "Hey what girl is going to want to come back to my parent's house?" so might as well download as much P as I can. I truly didn't see the problem until recently. I even stopped feeling shame. I was like this is great! P is curing my loneliness! I know better now. One thing that got me was looking at my archive and seeing the date. I'm like damn 2006? So don't waste time while at home, if you can find a girl who doesn't care about your situation awesome. Get a good job, save, and when the time is right you'll know. I'm now 21 days nofap, girls are super friendly and I could have gotten some already but waiting to see what pans out. I've already waited this long. Good luck!
     
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  11. Pity

    Pity Fapstronaut

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    Im alone and my house is perfect!
    But I do have a lot of time to be careful with.
    I am content but a girlfriend or a boyfriend to spend time with every day is on my to do list.
     
  12. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Why are you giving up finding a woman?
     
  13. rivarol

    rivarol Fapstronaut

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    I live alone for 10 years now and I love it. I don't want to live with another person in same apartment. I rarely have guests here, maybe 3 or 4 times a year. But I am slightly autistic, maybe that is why loneliness is really not a matter for me. I even love to walk through deserts for days, completly without human contact. I feel really free then. But I still miss a woman in my life, for love, sex, trust, tenderness... I just don't want her around every day. I think I could not handle that.
     
  14. a.b.c_starboy

    a.b.c_starboy Fapstronaut

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    Its not that easy. It requires firm determination and hard work. You have to figure out works you can do and do various creative works. Being engaged in activities, loneliness can't touch you. You can also make friends with good people near you.
     
  15. I live alone and I love it. Yes, it can be lonely sometimes, but even when I lived with room-mates, life can still be lonely. I like being able to make my own decisions; everything from decorating and room layouts to choosing to sleep all night on the couch with the tv on! haha . Also, I can't get mad at roommates for making a mess...if there's a mess, it's my own!

    One of the best perks though, is that I can live internet free while at home. I call it my "fortress of solitude" (Superman reference), so when I'm home I know I'm free and safe from the temptation of porn.
     
  16. SuperiorMan95

    SuperiorMan95 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, be careful with this one, I have been alone for quite some time but at first it was very difficult especially if you don't have a strong mission/purpose. Its very easy to start feeling sad and lonely which can trigger you to engage in PMO just to increase positive emotion all be it for a short period of time.

    I would recommend making sure that you are grounded in a strong mission, have clear objectives, and have abstained from PMO for at least 90+ days.
     
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  17. blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut

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    Im 26 about to be 27 and ever since i was 18 I've lived with roommate after roommate until i found a good deal on a studio apartment that was cheaper than the room i was renting and in a better location. I was 26 when i got my first studio apt and ive lived on my own for about a year now. It gets lonley most days when all the friends and one night stands leave. Its just you. Thats why you need hobbies if you live alone. Also when ur trying nofap and live alone its like almost impossible to not relapse because ur by yourself all the time and the temptation becomes too much to handle. The good thing i like about living alone is the privacy. I dont have to clean up after anyone but myself. I can make as much noise as i want (within good reason) without someone tellin me to keep it down. And i don't have to worry about bringing someone home because its all me up in their son!
     
  18. Saturos

    Saturos Fapstronaut

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    I live alone. I have so now for almost three years. At first I was so lonely. I mean I am kinda now but not as much. Anyway, it's the best decision I've ever made in my life! I feel like an actual man. Don't rely on your family for suport. You're your own man and you need to comes to terms with the fact that you need to do this to better yourself. It's gonna be rough but you'll power through and become and incredible person as a result. My uncle came to visit a year ago and he was like I can't believe this is the same person we saw so many years ago. He's grown up now. That's what it is. You grow up! I highly recommend moving out.
     
  19. Bale

    Bale Fapstronaut

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    Took me a bit to get that one right o_O

    Joke aside, I've experienced living on my own, living with housemates, living with my girlfriend, going back to my parents', and really there is no way I'll live with other people again. Having my own space where I can do whatever the hell I want, without requiring anyone else's opinions or stupid decoration ideas. If I need to see people I'll call them.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2019
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  20. Deepak9337

    Deepak9337 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I am alone cause of porn my life was so much better 2yrs ago I have to change things now started nofap day0 will reach 365day
     

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