Do you experience frequent "conversations with yourself trying to make you watch porn" ?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ApioGolgotha, May 19, 2019.

  1. ApioGolgotha

    ApioGolgotha Fapstronaut

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    I mean, I always had a little bit of those, but these days, with the NoFap thing, it's far more often than usual. It's as if some parts of my brain, in my imagination, are embodied by different characters, and some of my thoughts are specifically coming from one or the other, as if it were some sort of conversation. And ever since I started NoFap, the "perv" is getting really talkative. What I had just now sounded like this :

    "_Don't you want to check if some interesting hentai came out ?

    _No, we're doing the NoFap thing.

    _I mean, we don't have to fap, I'm just curious.

    _It involves not watching porn, so we're not doing it, the neural thing won't work otherwise.

    _It's not really porn tho, I mean it's drawings, most of them are shit anyways, you can count the good ones with your fingers.

    _Dude, we're not doing it. Let's just watch some actual anime instead then.

    _Urh, ok then."

    I'm going to sound batshit insane if no one else has that, but hey, atleast I'm anonymous, haha. I don't have problems with this, it doesn't bother me, I even think it makes this whole thing a little less brutal. It's more like a "sneaky idiot regularly tries to convice me to watch hentai or porn".
    Is anyone familiar with this or am I making a fool of myself ?

    Have a nice day everyone !
     
  2. Dakshinamurti

    Dakshinamurti Fapstronaut

    Hahah, nah, you're not alone there :)

    It's not necessarily different 'characters' for me, well it actually used to be but since I've stopped smoking dope it's become more or less one consistent inner monologue.

    There is one element of my being though, which I cannot attribute to being me... It started when I quit drinking and I call it 'the still, silent voice that always speaks truth and tells me to do things I don't want to do.'
    That one's proper annoying, hahah... 'you need to exercise.' 'don't get takeaway tonight.' 'you're headed in the wrong direction, stop now.' Things like that. Things generally don't go too well for me if I ignore its' advice ;)
     
  3. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    I do a lot of that “self talk” in my head.

    It does sound crazy but I think we definitely need to think things out just like you presented in order to keep our minds on the right track.

    Just today I was thinking through some “acting out” activities the addict me wanted to do:

    -Do it! The men at the SAA meeting won’t know and you don’t have to say anything. Also you’re quitting PMO, if you do these other things it’s not PMO.

    -NO! I want intimacy with a real woman who cares about me. Doing these different “acting out” behaviors isn’t going to help me find true intimacy.

    Frankly I think we should have those internal discussions within ourselves several times a day.
     
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  4. Dakshinamurti

    Dakshinamurti Fapstronaut

    Quoted for TRUTH!

    You've got an awesome perspective on recovery good sir, love reading your posts and I've noticed you've liked a few of mine; thank you so much for reading.
     
  5. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

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    And thank you for your great inputs throughout the forum.
     
    ApioGolgotha and Dakshinamurti like this.

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