Do people here really want to quit?

i understand what you mean, i think they want to quit but its so bloody hard to give up the crutch,
i know i want to quit, i want to quit so badly but i have so many triggers,,,esp boredom and loneness--
and why be lonely when you can have any fantasy at the touch of a button? goodbye being alone--
also the withdrawals are just awful,,,I'm having a grade 5 migraine now and i know what would cure it,
getting lost in pixeland--i feel everyone knows its bad but they don't know just how bad this disease it--
it is so bad its mind-blowing how bad it is,,,the images always escalates and before you know it you are looking at really disgusting creepy stuff,,,and then you get that vibe and practically broadcasts i am a social dork and jerk because i cannot help looking at sexual images until my brain explodes--so, yes, i think we all really do want to quit and its about having the will power to get through the withdrawls==what works for me is to visualize a goal and a reward for reaching that goal,,,at 30 days i had a really nice dinner lobster and steak,,,60 days i took a road trip,,,100 days,,,i hope to buy a new car,,,,thats what keeps me going--if you don't have a destination to go to you are just lost and wandering,,,

 

I understand your viewpoint, but people are in different situations and so, for some people, 2-3 days without PMO is a real struggle. Perhaps this is because some people are suffering from a variety of things - it could be parent issues, depression etc. and at the moment have not found the right tools to help them deal with life. Perhaps the people you are looking at are generally at the starting period of their end. Perhaps the people are in really complicated states.

 

I feel your sentiment and I get what you're saying. And I agree with most of your assessment. I must be careful that I'm not to eager to judge.

First you're right, 1day relaspes seem like people don't really want to quit. But I take everyone at his word and believe they do WANT to stop. The people who don't want to quit are never going to be on a forum like this. So assuming everyone is here out of desire, it begs the question, what is really happening?

2nd how many times in 30yrs did I say I was going to quit? The exact number is like a bazillion. We find each other on this forum in different stages of resolve and recovery. Some of us are immature and think a mere password block will keep us safe and heal us, others of us blame society for our condition, some yet remain in denial and haven't admitted the level of deception they are in. It doesn't really matter where we are they day we start noFap it's important that we grow in some small way just for participating.

Third, immaturity or life experience is what measures the tools we put in our toolboxes. Many young people don't have the emotional fortitude to tackle something that may have grown to big for them to control. They may feel helpless and tragically grasp for others to remove the infliction from them. While others may have a great grasp on what exactly they need to do to move forward stalwartly. We all carry different tools. We all have different circumstances and different support networks. It is important to me to recognize how fortunate I am, and what I have already learned, what I have, and can afford professional help. So many others are floundering not knowing what to do exactly. I try not and hold that against them. There are always "A" students and always "C" students. The cream rises to the top.

What your heart desires @HoplessCase101 is noble. It's great the success youre having, and the breakaway path you have taken. Too bad so many more are still caught in the Porn /Shame cycle. All I can suggest is offer a kind word, lift where you can, and reap the benefits of a life free of PMO.

Great topic btw.

 

I want to quit and nofap makes it easy. No one can give you motivation, it have to come from within, from your decision and real wish to change life.

 

When the going gets tough, the tough get going

Not everyone steps up when they really need to. Sometimes they're not ready and they don't take ownership for it. They look externally for something to lean on instead of standing on their own two feet. It doesn't mean they can't later on, just right now they can't.

Maybe they haven't hit rock bottom yet like you have, so they don't really want to change, even though they know they should.

 

This is a really good explanation of what this forum has done for me so far. Thanks for sharing this.

 

No offense but everyone isnt in same level of addictions here.

 

I agree with @Abyss Watcher, everyone has a different path to follow. What you should ask is why you have written this post.

 

I felt very good after reading your comment. I also feel the same way. It is good you have tried getting this to people. May some of them see this and understand that this is a full time commitment and not just few days journey. Thank you for posting this.

 

Coming from someone that did burn that house down I have to say there is no such thing as addiction free from P.
I personally think that stinkin thinkin is what is the problem, some think hey I wont fap to P for a month, 6 months a year and I will be free from my addiction LOLOL . No you wont, I know drug addicts and alcoholics that relapsed after along time. Oh wait thats me, I abused alcohol very badly quit in 2005 and did not drink again until 2015 went on a year long bender of course with P. And slowly rid myself of it. I am 2 year clean of alcohol so after 10 years sobriety it was gone in a heart beat. If anyone thinks P is easier its not, its even hard because its easier to avoid alcohol as you have to go get it. P, all you have to do is turn on your smart phone or computer and instant free P.
They feel sorry for themselves because they only know pain, so why it may seem deliberate its genuine pain, but pain they would rather cover up with more P and hence the cycle never ends.
So after being a P addict for 45 years I have 129 days, and after drinking since I was 20 I stopped for 10 years started and stopped again. I now have two years of clean time from alcohol. The first thing is to admit you are a P addict, the second is to get help and this place Nofap is a great place to start. But statistics are not good addicts of any kind have on average less then a 5% success rate staying off their addiction 5 years and longer then that is much much lower.
The ability to quit P is not easy, and you are fighting an uphill battle thats the reality. The sooner people realize if quitting P was easy well everyone would just do it and be done. The sooner they will learn you have to fight and fight hard.

 

I understand that these people open a thread and asking for some help. Everybody has a different situation and I agree with the owner of this thread about some arguments about too much open topic. Nevertheless they need help and I think this is the great place for that. In my past I had an issue about my porn using and I did wanna make a real change. I tried everything to make some differences. But I hooked up porn at such a young age, at my 15 I could understand a little bit about what is porn doing us. But I didn't have that too much information. English is my second language and in my country, English education is a significant problem. Nonetheless, I have learn English as I can express myself collect information and communicate somebody. Yes, but how did I do that? I translated some articles in yourbrainonporn, reddit, YBR, nofap.com and Gabe Deem's videos. But all things was happening I was keep relapsing. I promised a lot of myself, " Yeeep it was a relapse and I can change it" and then I was relapsing about 1 week, 30 days , 60 days, 150 days and maybe 10 minutes?!? So what was the problem, why I didn't do that? And why I relapsed after day 150 all night? What was wrong with me? However I really needed help because consequences was pushing me into depression's space. I couldn't talk this issue anybody, because I afraid something. Or even I tell about this something they couldn't probably understand because they didn't know about this problem. And I didn't really know a lot of thing about porn addiction and porn addiction recovery or nofap and other websites.

Maybe they are missing something and they need other people's perspective. For my own experience, I can say that with comfortable, if I learn anything, any little thing still gaves me a different perspective and my first attempts to quit was about 2013. Information, decision making and patience are the keys of a lot of life's doors. And I can say that: specially some people in here about more than 40 years old have an experience like below this post. And of course we need every single decision and experience here so they can improve themselves. If I knew to use this kind of forum and what was going on with my addicted brain, everything can be different but I know that: It's never too late to do something at any ages, 15 or 80 whatever.This is such a good thread.

 

It's difficult. I think there are different gradations of addiction and motivation. I have been on short and long streaks up to 150 days, and I know that there are times when you won't quit after relapsing, others where you will quit only to see "what happens" and, at least in my case, rarely you will see a deep motivation to change your life and push yourself to a good streak and deep changes in your life.

It's as fluctuant as life already is. People are not perfect, we can't just say "I quit" and effectively quit, we need to hit rock bottom or to rationalize it as an internal, emotional desire. Our emotions and our hatred for porn have to be involved. We need to love the best version of ourselves, to feel all right when we start changing our habits, to feel like we are getting closer to where we want to be. This is why a lot of challenges fail here too. We have to do what we want to do and have passion, not doing it for the sake of it. I prefer relapsing after a short streak because I know that if I were to continue it would just reinforce passive habits or lack of motivation. I want to have a deep motivation to change and to leave porn aside, not because I "feel like it" but because I'm going to explode otherwise because I'm tired of the grinding and I want something more.

I envy those people who can make up their minds so easily, or at least those people that seem to be capable of doing so. I can't, I resort to my emotions and those strong moments of realization to finally push out of the circle of addictions and mental fog. It is when I reconnect with my self and I seek out to do something else when I really believe in NoFap. Even if we rationalize it to the fullest, if we are not changing anything and we do not focus on our dreams and emotions, we will fail, we will fail to ourselves.

 

Very good damn post.

I like that you mentioned psychology and books.

Watch yourself too man - what you mentioned about coping with emotions in a sober state can happen to you too.

I myself did find it hard when emotions were rewiring. It was like going through the long heartbreak for me. Made my heart sensitive and emotional.

Anyway I'm 29 now and at 23 it was much harder to quit, didn't knew about nofap then but kept relapsing and crying after relapses. Wanted to quit but was just too broken in my heart and no purpoise in life, too much spare time and not doing anything that matters. I remember after relapses I was thinking how good my life could be and where I am now and started to feel so sorry for myself that had to cry.

Did a lot of damage to my brain back then with PMO and sitting at PC night and day. But now on mood stabilizers and gotten my life together to a point where I can normaly function. Still long way to go but slowly getting there and have dreams and goals in my mind every day.

 

really agree with you. Most people have just found another place where they can cry about themselves.
If you wanna quit you quit, period.

 

What if they want to cry ? Seems many do and are broken and are unsure how they fix it...I think many come here thinking there is a magic pill and there is not. But this place does help.