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Do I Even Have A Problem(Anymore)? Am I Just Overanalyzing? ADVICE please.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Narontius, Feb 21, 2019.

  1. Narontius

    Narontius Fapstronaut

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    So I have a really bad habit of overanalyzing and can't decide whether I, presently, have a PMO problem or wether I have just overanalyzed the shit out of everything. So I looked up like some basic signs/symptoms of unhealthy porn use and I will answer them as follows so maybe I can get so feedback below. As a quick preamble, something essential to know is that I am basing these responses off of this past year and present day ONLY. Throughout my past, prior to this year I think I did have a co-morbid problem with porn, mixed with a bunch of other shit like drugs, trauma, anxiety, depression, identity crisis, etc. But I have and still am in therapy and have worked through a lot of that shit. I think porn definitely was a contributing factor to why I was a virgin for 24 years and only lost it in October when I turned 25.

    1.Do you find yourself spending more and more time online or on your digital devices (computer, laptop, tablet or Smartphone) viewing pornography than you realize?

    Definitely not. I am never thinking about porn throughout the day at all. I have a job, I go to school, and socialize a lot. I am a musician and play a lot of live gigs throughout the week and weekends whenever I am not doing school or working. Porn never crosses my mind. Sex and women definitely does but never porn or masturbation until before bed.

    2.Do you find yourself mindlessly passing time on a regular basis by staring at your Smartphone, Tablet, or Computer surfing, viewing, or downloading pornography even when there might be better or more productive things to do? And do you seem to lose track of time when looking at porn?

    Again, no. I only look at porn before bed at night before going to sleep. I fap once, maybe twice, and tend to go to sleep. I wake up the next day fine, socialize, and perform fine. I will not have porn in my head at all until bedtime.

    3. Do you find yourself spending more time viewing or downloading pornography as opposed to socializing with real-time people or engaging in other real-time non-sexual activities?

    Nope. I am in school, like to chill on campus with my guitar after class to meet girls. I frequently go out to coffee shops and chill, the gym, just walk around and try to meet people. Being a musician, I do a lot of busking on the street for money and perform a lot of gigs and definitely meet people that way. I also go out to bars on the weekend with friends and socialize and try to meet women (usually to not much avail but w/e)

    4. Has the amount of time you spend watching porn on the Internet been increasing?

    No. I watch porn only at night before bed--its become part of my bedtime ritual. The one exception would be the times where I have had to take an extra IR Adderall or two to get school work done, then yea I would probably end up fapping a lot at night after that lol

    5. Do you secretly wish you could be less involved in online Internet pornography?

    Maybe? I really just wish I could be having more actual sex daily with somebody as opposed to fapping daily. I mean, I go out and talk to girls, I go to the gym, I use tinder, I play guitar live, but usually don't end up getting laid. But is this due to PMO or is it just due to me being demisexual and only just now, at the age of 25, really having interest in dating/sex and having a strong desire to be in a relationship. I think its more due to my lack of self-esteem and lack of experience in the dating game.

    6. Do you find yourself viewing pornography at all hours of the day and night—even when it means interrupting other things you are or should be doing, including sleep or schoolwork, or your job?

    Again, not at all. Unless I had taken an upper like an amphetamine or something too late in the day which is very infrequent.

    7. Do you look at porn while you are driving or when you’re doing other activities that require your focused attention and concentration?

    Never. I might get distracted by other things like youtube or playing my guitar but never pornography.

    8. Do you feel your use of Internet porn actually decreases your productivity at times?

    I really don't know. If I am someone who usually only faps one or twice nightly before bed, would it have a pronounced effect?

    9. You find yourself feeling somewhat ill-at-ease or uncomfortable when you accidentally leave your Internet device in the car or at home by accident or you have no service, or is service is broken?

    Well prior to this year, I would say 100% yea I was really uncomfortable and secretive about my porn use since it is very exclusive to a specific fetish. However, since I ended up finally losing my v-card and having sex in October, I have been wayyy more open and comfortable about my fetishes and porn habits. I even have had sex with a girl who did the fetish with me and doesn't mind. I really am just way more interested in sex/girls now then EVER before in my entire life.

    10. Do you feel reluctant to be without Internet pornography even for a short time?

    Being that I really have conditioned myself to PMO every night before bed then yes it is increasingly hard for me to fall asleep if I don't PMO or at the very least MO before bed. Yes I have done streaks of NoFap ranging from a week to a month or so and it was really painful and uncomfortable-- all the classic symptoms when one starts NoFap. But this is the point of my post because should I be trying to fix something that isn't even broken? Like if I am living a productive and social life, am interested and actively trying to get a girlfriend/have sex (although at this juncture have little to no success) like do I have a problem?
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2019
  2. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    If you don't have a problem with PMO then you wouldn't be on this site.
    PMO is NEVER a positive to sexual health or mental health. It cannot hurt to simply cut it out completely.
    It seems that you're not too far gone yet. Therefore stopping now is ideal as the reboot should be relatively quick and easy.
    Good luck
     
    FX-05 and AxBlaim like this.
  3. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, when I read your answers to the questions I was like "Huh? Why does this guy think he is addicted to porn?". Here is why:

    To me it sounds like you're the type of guy, who is able to use porn in moderation. "Real" addicts like myself can't do that. A very popular misconception (especially on this forum) is, that no person can watch porn from time to time without developing problems like most of us here did. That is wrong. It is like saying "No person can drink alcohol from time to time without becoming an alcoholic". In fact, a lot of people can and do watch porn in moderation, which is fine.

    If I may say this: You are in a position,which a lot of people (myself included) can only dream of right now. You are socialising alot, going out, meeting people, doing productive things. That's what a lot of us desire, but can't do yet. We're working towards the position you're already in.

    Don't get me wrong: Cutting out porn can never hurt, since it is definitvely not the most productive way to use your time. But my honest opinion is, that you don't have a problematic relationship to porn. Doesn't mean, that it can't happen in the future, but I think as long as you can manage to hold a healthy balance, there is not so much to worry about.

    So my advice would be the following: If you feel okay and manage to hold your life together (meaning a healthy social life, good working morals, physical and mental health, etc.), then there isn't a problem with your porn use like it is right now. However, if you (or a potential partner) are (no longer) comfortable with watching porn, then cut it out.

    One more thing to consider is this: Even if you personally are okay with your porn use, then think about the consequences of watching porn. I don't mean the consequences on yourself, but on the people in porn. The porn industry is a nightmare. It exploits women and girls by the thousands. One only has the Top porn stars in mind, who make a lot of money and live a good life (at least make it look like a good life). But for every "porn star", there are hundreds of thousands of girls, who don't enjoy what they do, who don't get paid well, who don't do it because they like it, who don't surive the industry. If a person watches porn, he/she creates a demand for exploitation and human trafficking. That by itself is enough reason to cut out porn. Maybe consider this in your decision as well.

    Greetings,
     
  4. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    I think this is a fairly dangerous narrative. I was a recreational user of porn for most of the years I was into it. It never had an impact on me outside of sexual things, for example I still got top grades, had friends, played sports and had jobs.

    However, it took a turn for the worse around last year when I tried to quit. People probably feel like they aren't addicted to porn as they just use it daily and so don't experience urges or withdrawals until it's too late.

    Porn is NEVER a positive to you. It's best to cut it out completely as going into too deep can happen at some point, and before you know it you're addicted.

    I know plenty of people who use porn but they don't use it a lot to get off too and they have had sexual experiences since they were young. It's just not worth it. The guy is on this site which obviously means he uses porn more than he knows he should.
     
  5. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    What made you believe, that you should cut it out in the first place then? I'm curious.

    Daily consumption alone is a pretty clear sign of a problem for me. I'm not talking about daily users.

    I agree. But I also said that in my post above.

    Meh. A lot of things can bring a person here. There are plenty of people here, who don't even watch porn themselves like wifes and girlfriends of addicts. Only because he is on the forum doesn't make him a porn addict.
     
  6. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    I realised I had an issue when I had no morning wood, I wasn't interested in any girls even when they clearly stated to me they were into me, and I would rather PMO than have real life partnerships.

    Maybe he isn't an addict but he may aswell cut PMO out.

    I just used it almost daily because I enjoyed it and I got bored. When I went away I never had issues stopping and didn't really think about it all that much.
     
  7. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    Once a day = a big porn problem
     
  8. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    Then your first statement (porn didn't really have an impact on you) is not true. Those are huge impacts.

    Yes, totally. I agree.
     
  9. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    True, but no one else could tell I was an addict of this shit, and it affected nothing but my sexual health. I was a high functioning addict, or maybe I wasn't in that deep
     

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