Diversifying your happiness

Something that I noticed about myself over the years is that I had TONS of my potential happiness invested in my ability to get the girls that I wanted. Sometimes I would get them, but most of the time I wouldn't. This left me very upset and I would always hate myself for not getting the girl and I would hate myself which made me very unattractive emotionally. I was attractive enough through my personality and my appearance (lets average them together at an 8), but I was so down on myself that my negative self image probably brought me down to a 4 or 5. There are a lot of factors that make you attractive. Have you ever seen a woman who is about a 6 shoot up to a 8 when she is in a confident mood? Have you seen the opposite? I have.

Since I had so much invested in getting a sexy woman, one failure made me feel bad which led to another failure, which made me feel worse and down it goes.

I'm realizing now that I need to diversify my happiness. Women are going to come and go. I need to be happy with my friends, my family, my job, my environment, my fitness, my health, the things that I use for entertainment, the books I read, the interactions I have on a daily basis, how much money I have, and on and on. I need to invest my potenital happiness in other things than just getting women.

When I ONLY invest my happiness in women and I don't get women it leads to PMO because it's the only thing that makes me feel good.

When I DIVERSIFY my happiness in other things and I don't get a woman then I feel down, but not down enough to go and PMO my progress away. Or maybe (like what really happened to me a few days ago) I get really down and PMO once and then get back on track. I felt guilt and anger over the fact that I gave in but I redirected it toward getting back on track instead of digging a deeper hole.

So the moral of the story is to diversify your happiness. Don't simply distract yourself. Don't find ways to ignore the fact if you are unhappy. Just find other ways that will help you be happy. Just because you don't have a girl doesn't mean you have no value (I used to think that). You have value and worth. There are some people who enjoy you just as you are now even if you have bad teeth, make dumb jokes, and fart loudly. Some people like you in spite of those things.

If you're like me and investing all your potential happiness into finding the right girl (which is nice, I won't say that I don't want an amazing and sexy girl) you may want to rethink things and find some other ways to be happy. That way if she does leave, or you leave her, you're not absolutely gutted and waste a year of your life asking WHY instead of enjoying your life.

Invest your happiness in many things and people.