different way to look at success

quick background : i took the 90 day challenge in monk mode, relapsed once, reset and then reached my goal. this was about 4-5 months ago. have had an active sex lifesince then, but no PMO

two days ago i went through a rough patch and I MO'd. although i'm not currently doing a challenge, i am still committed to no PMO, so i guess this would be a relapse in a sense. but why am i then posting this in the success stories forum..

becuase of the changes i see in myself. PMO was my go-to escape for everything. daily, sometimes twice a day, solution for stress, bad moods, sleep etc. nothing about it felt wrong (until i learned about its negative effects and then took the challenge). so this time when i MO'd i was surprised to notice how i didnt get that much satisfaction out of it, and infact i felt strange doing it.

it was like a part of me was trying to talk myself out of it. telling myself that i'd be better off using that time and energy to deal with the problems that triggered it, and that i would still feel shitty a little while after. i'd never had that commentary running in my head before. and frankly it ruined the experience lol

the problems i was facing have worsened since then but i have no desire to deal with it through MO. its not that im fighting against the desire, i just prefer to solve th problems rather than escape from them. so, during the challenge, what felt like an uphill battle to reach 90 days, now feels like a downhill ride away from PMO itself. autopilot

i wanted to share this with anyone that is struggling with the challenge, so you know what is possible for you if you commit to it. so go for it guys, theres a whole new you out there but you have to build that person, one day at a time. start with 90 days but dont stop working on yourself after that