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Did porn make me gay?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Wickster, Oct 3, 2017.

  1. SuperSayianCaulifla

    SuperSayianCaulifla Fapstronaut

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    Give us an update? Have you maintained NoFap?
     
  2. The easiest way is to literally just stop porn and you'll find out if you're really attracted to one gender or not, and If you still like men say after a year or something then you'll have your answer.
     
  3. Paperweight

    Paperweight Fapstronaut

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    I think that porn and other environmental factors in one's youth can change one's sexuality in adulthood, including by making one homosexual. That's not to say that no one is born gay, of course their are factors prior to birth that affect people too, including genetics.

    I think people are too quick to cleave uncompromisingly to the notion that "you don't become gay, you are born that way!" purely because of the sociopolitical implications that it has (it is an argument for pandering to homosexuals in a broad range of ways, as opposed to limiting young people's exposure to things that may alter their sexuality), regardless of whether it's a rational belief. People aren't very rational.

    Everyone on this forum understands that porn can warp a person's sexual tastes, but I think many are not capable of questioning the dogma they have internalised about sexuality. Incoherent, wishful thinking brought to you by the same people who gave you masturbation tips.

    Please let me know if I have said anything that sounds homophobic, and I'll see if I can put you at ease.
     
  4. I already knew my sexuality before porn, and while it skewed my preferences and I questioned things for that time being, nothing has changed. It's not like I'm a lesbian now because that's what I heavily watched when growing up, that's why when you stop porn it's the easiest way to figure out what you truly identify with. As you won't have a cloudy judgment and 'influence' on your sexuality either from constantly watching.
     
  5. Paperweight

    Paperweight Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing your own experiences. However, they don't contradict what I said.

    Firstly, I conceded that some people are most likely gay from birth (or physiologically destined to become so).

    Secondly, and more importantly, I suggested that pornography is just one single factor among many factors that can influence a person's sexual development.

    For example, porn doesn't stimulate our senses and emotions to the same degree as physical interactions with people, and therefore "real life" childhood experiences (not necessarily sexual) presumably have far greater potential to alter our lasting sexual psychology.

    Based on your account, either you were born that way, or other factors had already altered your sexuality prior to watching porn.

    No offence, but it seems that you're discounting the personal anecdotes of others in this thread with personal anecdotes of your own. Whereas I'm taking all accounts into consideration. Apologies if I got the wrong impression.

    I agree with your advice of cutting out the porn to figure out who you are, although I'd phrase it as: "stop exposing yourself to more conditioning and see how much has stuck". But it's always the case that early conditioning is the most impactful, because the brain gets less plastic with age.
     
    Vulkan likes this.
  6. betterlife1

    betterlife1 Fapstronaut

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    All these posts have me even more confused and worried now because I thought that the types of porn I watch now (cuckolding, femdom, sissy, forced bi, humiliation etc) have come from an escalation of porn over the years and building upon the stimuli, and the fix was as easy as stopping and stepping away and you'll be back to your pre-porn mentality. However, if I have eventually started liking these things for the past year or so bc there is something internally that makes me like them then that is a scary thought and I regret finding porn ever because I'm not happy with how I am right now and how my body reacts to certain types of things compared to others. It's frustrating to figure out if all this is just conditioning or what if my sexuality has changed?
     
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  7. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    Don´t worry, be happy! Now you can enjoy sucking cock, while porn turned girls into licking pussy.

    Now seriously: I am quite sure it can be cured. For example bluebell here wrote, she was into vaginas and like you basically into cuckold (the female version, she desperately wanted her boyfriend to fuck other girls). But after stopping porn she forgot about the lesbian stuff and is into her boyfriend.


    I just now came home from this lovely girl again, the most awesome experience I have in my life. There was no porn or fapping in my mind. Just me and her, caressing and kissing teary-eyed and wonderful intimate sex. The volcano exploded like never before.

    If you find a good girlfriend, your love for her will grow while porn will quickly fade away.
    Forget porn and fapping, it´s nothing.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2018
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  8. betterlife1

    betterlife1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks vulcan....I'm not going to lie ur first sentence caught me really off guard bc it almost reinforced the things I was trying to get away from but after reading the rest I'm more calm now lol
     
    Vulkan likes this.
  9. are people born alcoholics or drug addicts, or cigarette smokers? or did they start using it to cope, to socialize, to escape? It's hard but plenty of people who quit smoking say the urge goes away eventually.

    well known fact (check yourbrainonporn.com for the reference) that almost all BSDM 'addicts' (those who do it in real life) had some sort of traumatic painful medical treatment as a child at the same time loved ones were saying it's good for them/loving them
    obviously this behavior is rooted in that.

    Sex and even romantic 'fantasy' can be tied into or represent a lot of other needs. Fantasies can represent something else missing.

    There are people 'born gay' or happy with being gay there are others who seem to develop it later in life and IMOP it's environment 'playing' with certain innate tendencies. IF it is not what you want or you feel it will escalate you to behavior you don't want (look up stats on gay behavior, disease rates, promiscuity - not all gays are like this of course, but it's VERY high risk behavior ) then I think you should accept the feelings as real BUT try to see where they came from AND stop fantasizing in addition to stopping PMO.
     
    Vulkan likes this.
  10. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    It’s really simple. As @Sarah Walker said: stop the pmo and after you reboot (90days or so) you’ll know if you like guys or girls.
     
    Vulkan likes this.
  11. I disagree. If internal fantasizing continues - that is based on the pornography - that can complicate things. Fantasizing - Porn's back up drive !

    Also look up @ yourbrainonporn about about sexual tastes and mutability.

    Think about a prison, where guys get 'girlfriends' - obviously at least partially environmentally triggered.

    Also @ yourbrainonporn and here, users say when self esteem rises, the gay/sissy/femdom fantasies go away for many.
     
    Vulkan likes this.
  12. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    as noonoon wrote, reboot may help sometimes, but I feel ivanhoe is right when he sais, that you also need to stop the porn in your mind to get rid of porn or society-induced unwanted sexual desires. Only the disciplined mind can do it.
     
    ivanhoe likes this.
  13. betterlife1

    betterlife1 Fapstronaut

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    It's not the 90 days that scare me...still early but I'm on day 4 however it's the result of 90 days and if things arent to my expectation or at a point where I feel better or I want them to be.
     
    noonoon likes this.
  14. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    You fear the dark, the unknown. What if there are monsters? It is quite reasonable. Sometimes we find there are, in fact, monsters in the dark. And then we pull out our sword and kill them, or die trying. All warriors experience fear. It is courage that brings us to face those fears and it is courage you’ll need to pursue this reboot.
     
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  15. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    I agree. Avoiding sexual fantasy is part of the reboot process.
     
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  16. It's easy to freak out and play victim, when you feel your reboot isn't giving you the progress you'd like. Obviously we are giving up a lot of pleasure, and with that comes a lot of stress and change, so we feel like we deserve some good things coming our way to compensate. I think that's what you mean...

    I'm like... I haven't fapped for about 12 days. Why haven't I got laid yet??? LoL
     
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  17. betterlife1

    betterlife1 Fapstronaut

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    lol I know what ur saying but the truth is that I am a 29 yr old virgin. So I have the fear that my sex life has ended before it even began bc of my porn usage/exposure etc. So I guess I have a lot of what ifs going through my mind which makes it a bit more of a stressful/regretful situation.
     
  18. stone_33

    stone_33 Fapstronaut

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    This thread is really upsetting. Porn doesn't make someone gay or straight. If you are questioning your sexuality best of luck in your journey. That said, if you enjoy sexual experiences with men and gay porn then that seems like an indicator that you should accept yourself as you are. I am taking a break from porn because it is addictive. It also makes real sex worse for me and less pleasurable. But, the idea that porn somehow is turning people gay because you like gay porn is really misguided. I personally am not gay, so maybe its unfair to speak on this issue, however I think it needs to be said that porn has no impact on changing someones sexuality.
     
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  19. betterlife1

    betterlife1 Fapstronaut

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    Idk if it's that simple Seth bc if what u are saying is true then a good portion of what NoFap talks about in terms of conditioning/escalation gets thrown out the window and a good number of the people coming here are out of luck. Just my opinion.
     
  20. Andrea1986

    Andrea1986 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all. I'm a long porn addicted man. I'm 31 now and I can't remeber how long I've watched porn till now! Maybe 15 years. I remeber though, that in the past I was really disgusted by gay or bi porn and never ever had atraction towards men. After years of porn I've started little by little to introduce myself to bi or sissy porn. I'm still not attracted by men and I would never french kiss a man for example, but when I watch porn my brain asks for something different. In the years I've also found attractive other strange practices like scat, fisting, pissing and everything that can be considered weird.
     
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