Did I Fail With a Woman?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Deleted Account, Nov 29, 2018.

  1. OK I'm a relative newbie with women, but things have been slowly going better the last several months. On Sunday, I was at a Meetup event, and I think the female leader of the group is cute. A couple months ago I asked if she was single and she said she was seeing someone else. No big deal, and plus after that she at least knew I was interested. On Sunday, after the event, me, her, and two other guys went out for dinner, one of the guys I consider a new friend through Meetup. Me and the girl got on fine during dinner. At the end, since I was the only one with a car there, she asked me if I could give her a ride home, instead of taking an Uber. I hesitated, it would have been really out my way to take her home. Within seconds my friend said he could do it (they would take the bus back to his place and then he would drive her home). She did give me a hug before we left

    Did I miss an opportunity with her? I'm thinking we could have had a chance to talk on the way home at least. If a girl you like asks you to take her home should you automatically say yes? Because I think I was overthinking things when I hesitated

    I don't feel really bad about it because overall I think the night went well and the fact that she asked me for a ride home was a good sign. I'm sure I'll see her again at another Meetup soon
     
  2. I don't think asking to be driven home is an indication of interest. Don't read into hugs either because chicks consider it normal among friends. I'm not saying she's not interested in you but it would be a stretch to say that she is.
     
  3. OK then that's reassuring that I didn't necessarily miss something. Good, then I'm glad I didn't give her a ride home, that would have been way out of my way on the other side of town. Yeah I know hugs don't mean much, I guess it's been awhile since I've had any kind of physical contact with females, so it feels good I guess. Getting more comfortable with it, PMO plus my own strict "morality" always got in my way
     
  4. Good luck, I'm rooting for you
     
  5. I think you're fine. The thought that comes to mind is she trusted you enough to ask. She feels safe with you. Doesn't necessarily mean she's interested in you as more than a friend, but IMO I think it's good progress that you're making women feel comfortable around you.

    You not wanting to do it was fine. Might have been better if you had spoken up and said I can't do it but maybe we can arrange something else to get you home. (That's just a thought and suggestion, please don't take that as a negative). But I think you were being yourself. You weren't trying to do something just to impress her.

    I think it's great that you're making progress in this area. I'm still too shy to meet women away from my work. I'm still in the loser stage! You're making progress a lot faster than me.
     
    Epic Fight and Deleted Account like this.
  6. Thanks! You're right it would have been good to help arrange something else if I was fast enough. Oh well.

    Good luck with your own quest! And congratulations on your 90 days! Way to go!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Epic Fight

    Epic Fight Fapstronaut

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    She is with someone else. You did great.
     
  8. Well..... that's what she said two months ago, but yeah you're right. I saw on Meetup she signed up for an upcoming Singles event that I also signed up for.... a donut sampling event :D
     
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  9. torrace

    torrace Fapstronaut

    Now I'm curious as to what type of donuts they have! Strangely I can only think of jelly-filled donuts, salted caramel donut, and oreo donut.

    Hope you do get to meet her and get her number!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. Oh there's going to be many, many more kinds of donuts than that!

    Thanks!
     
    torrace likes this.
  11. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    There's no right or wrong answer to that.

    You either want to give her a ride home or you don't. You felt it was too much of a hassle. Your friend didn't. He fought for an opportunity. He wanted it more.

    Maybe next time you'll feel differently about it.

    If you regret not doing it, then do it next time.

    You didn't fail. You learned something that will help you in the future. Without mistakes, regrets, or new experiences in general, there wouldn't be growth.

    No use beating yourself up about it or ruminating endlessly about what ifs. Learn from your friend and from the situation itself. You'll only get better.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. Agreed. My friend is much more experienced than me, so yeah it is good to observe how he does things and learn
     
  13. HelplessPleaseHelp?

    HelplessPleaseHelp? Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, You will have another chance to meet her. Don't overthink it now for sure.
    Just relax, live your life.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  14. Thanks, it doesn't really matter to me if I have another chance with her specifically, I can also take what I've learned and apply it to a situations with other girls that I may meet
     
  15. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like your buddy tryin to cock block.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  16. Yeah actually that's my concern too, and that was kind of my immediate takeaway when it happened. I was kinda like "what the...". Especially since I had previously told him I was interested in her. This is just a new friend that I made through Meetup a couple months ago, we've gone barhopping and stuff together, I'm not good friends with him by any measure. I'm not mad but kinda makes me less interested to hang with the guy
     
    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  17. whatrichme

    whatrichme Fapstronaut

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    you didn't lose anything.
    If I were you, I would test her and ask to make me a coffee at her place if she really wants me to send her back.
    If it were just a dropoff and goodbye kind of thing, I would skip. Setup another meaningful date with her if you care.
     
  18. I think I get what you're saying, it makes sense. If not with her, then with somebody else. Thanks
     
    torrace likes this.
  19. HelplessPleaseHelp?

    HelplessPleaseHelp? Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like you are hanging on buddy. Good job!
     
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