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Desire is a Loop

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Ajar, Jan 28, 2019.

Have your longest streaks ever been from being fed up, or from conscious decision?

  1. Fed Up in the Slums

  2. Conscious Process

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  1. Jan 28, 2019 #1
    Ajar

    Ajar Fapstronaut
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    I've had a theory. Would love to hear your perspective...
    It kind of goes into the whole, desire is the root of all suffering thing.
    So here goes...
    Sexual thoughts induce desire. Now desire is then to of course have sex, or intimacy, romance, etc. This desire then manifests itself into our mind, where we will picture ourselves with women, in sexual positions, dating, etc. etc.

    Heres where it gets fun..
    Now of course we want to be in that picture. But then reality hits, and we are not. Then we try to accomplish this goal in the physical world. Realizing that its not that easy. After repeated attempts, we start to get frustrated, angry, sad, depressed.

    Now when we get to this stage, we repeat. In order to get rid of this anger, sadness, we continue to picture ourselves with the women. On top of that, when we can't get something, what does it cause? More want. This causes more struggle, or disdain within ourselves. Which may lead to increased PMO, or other negative actions, which don't solve anything.

    So how do we get relieved? By either stopping the thoughts which create desire, or by achieving success within it. Either by stopping the desire, or achieving it.

    Since achieving it is not exactly within the realm of the person generally - considering alot of people have confidence, and self-esteem issues due to PMO - it is best to ease the desire, by cutting attachment with it.

    How do you cut the attachment? By coming it contact with it less. Both mentally and physically. If you're really deep into porn, start by trying to get off without it. Make the MO really quick, as to minimize time in that action. The main point is to release yourself from the clutches of porn. Then as time goes on, maybe even from week one, try and go longer without MO, but if you have to MO. No hard feelings, it is a natural impulse created by nature. You're not a bad person, you're just human.

    Now in your mind, try and cut those sexual thoughts over time - nothing is done in one day, take your time. I am serious, just take some time and inch into everything. Don't worry about your surroundings(visual, audio). Just worry about your thoughts. Do NOT observe the thought, just let the thought go; or just focus on something else. Overtime your mind will drop its hyper-sexual nature, into a less provoked one.

    Look at it as shifting your overall mentality in slides. Each slide progressing from porn addict, to normal. You will have to make the jump, with patience, into a more stable mindset.
     
    Ajar, Jan 28, 2019
    Ajar, Jan 28, 2019
    #1
    ImpureHuman, CH3RRY, Turtleboi and 1 other person like this.
  2. Jan 28, 2019 #2
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    I relapse today and found this very helpful to think about @Ajar.
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 28, 2019
    Deleted Account, Jan 28, 2019
    #2
  3. Jan 28, 2019 #3
    Ajar

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    Yea man. Also kill the anger, sadness, and shame at yourself for relapsing - that can be a heavy factor. When you relapse just figure out how in your mind to get past it as fast a possible. Make it a small deal and move on.
     
    Ajar, Jan 28, 2019
    Ajar, Jan 28, 2019
    #3
  4. Jan 29, 2019 #4
    HughFennell

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    This is a very interesting theory. Thanks for sharing!
     
    HughFennell, Jan 29, 2019
    HughFennell, Jan 29, 2019
    #4
  5. Jan 29, 2019 #5
    motion2082

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    Really enjoyed reading your theory. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy saved me last year. Sexual thoughts was a trigger to my desire to be with as many woman as possible which PMO allows you to do. This does manifest into your brain which makes you lose self control. We're all victims of evolution/dna. As soon as you realise that thoughts are not real they're only thoughts, you then realise that certain events/thoughts trigger behaviours which loops depending on the program you constantly play.
     
    motion2082, Jan 29, 2019
    motion2082, Jan 29, 2019
    #5
  6. Jan 29, 2019 #6
    ImpureHuman

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    Practicing meditation along with nofap can be very benificial. It's very hard though. But urges felt too strong as we are sitting calm and concentrated. But since we are trying to recover from the addiction, affirming hopeful thought while sitting helps me a lot as body regain some strength after a week of Nofap. Observing thought helps me to identify the trigger and nature of it, thought about rewards and the memories of the flashback of doing PMO. But it seems that letting go of that memories and images are very hard. It will happen over time.. hopefully., after 90 or an year more to completly eliminate all the PMO related thinking from mind.
     
    ImpureHuman, Jan 29, 2019
    ImpureHuman, Jan 29, 2019
    #6
  7. Jan 29, 2019 #7
    immadothis

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    just flow with it and live life, doing pmo and fapping is not living life
     
    immadothis, Jan 29, 2019
    immadothis, Jan 29, 2019
    #7
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  8. Jan 29, 2019 #8
    immadothis

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    when you do harcore sport, it says the body stops producing semen and shit
     
    immadothis, Jan 29, 2019
    immadothis, Jan 29, 2019
    #8
  9. Jan 30, 2019 #9
    motion2082

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    I can tell you after 60+ days you reach this weird place where woman on news sites, instagram and even real life that dress "slutty" or reveal next to no clothing makes you feel sorry for them. You also feel like you have been in this trance all the years your were PMO'in. Maybe it's because I have flatlined now and my brain doesn't have as many images in my brain playing out when I see a woman. I still think classy woman are hot but I'm put off by selfie obsessed woman who are always looking for attention and verification on social media.

    Being in my mid 30s, losing most of my hair and not being a alpha male definitely makes ignoring hot woman easier as I always think "what would they see in a middle age man who is losing his hair anyway". Humans are complicated creatures and I really fail to get on the same level with any females. Even my partner lives on another planet. I used to believe in a soul mate but after seeing couples change after years of marriage I fail to see how any human can be totally satisfied with one person in their life for the rest of their life. It just seems like we're all scared of dying alone
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2019
    motion2082, Jan 30, 2019
    motion2082, Jan 30, 2019
    #9
  10. Jan 30, 2019 #10
    ImpureHuman

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    I see what you mean but confused about
     
    ImpureHuman, Jan 30, 2019
    ImpureHuman, Jan 30, 2019
    #10
  11. Jan 30, 2019 #11
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    Fed up in the flatline, but conscious otherwise. I've gotta stop pretending I believe my own lies. I know they're not true, I just want to believe the BS I tell myself so I can relapse.
     
    Deleted Account, Jan 30, 2019
    Deleted Account, Jan 30, 2019
    #11
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  12. Jan 30, 2019 #12
    ImpureHuman

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    Mind's play. Just distract yourself with something else.
     
    ImpureHuman, Jan 30, 2019
    ImpureHuman, Jan 30, 2019
    #12
  13. Jan 31, 2019 #13
    motion2082

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    Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus
     
    motion2082, Jan 31, 2019
    motion2082, Jan 31, 2019
    #13
  14. Jan 31, 2019 #14
    ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

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    The spirit science stuff.
     
    ImpureHuman, Jan 31, 2019
    ImpureHuman, Jan 31, 2019
    #14

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