Dependence on the blue pill

For me personally, I'm thinking I have porn-induced ED, so it's an addiction thing, not a physical thing.

I've tried the pill, but sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

Currently I'm doing a long reboot with absolutely no porn, no masturbation, and no orgasm. It's called hardmode.

I'm not going to use the pill again. I'm going to reboot until my PIED is cured, and I know it's going to take a LOT longer than just 90 days.

I'm no expert, but I think if you're still masturbating (at all) you may not be making a lot of progress. Maybe try hardmode for a significant amount of time and see if you start to get spontaneous erections.

Best of luck to you!

 

masturbating 4 times in a month is too much. You are not giving your body time to recover.

 

Hi I’m female but was in a relationship with a man who had PIED, we were engaged. First the only way to fix your PIED is to stop porn and masturbation completely for a minimum of 90 days, throw out the blue pill and either be honest with your girlfriend about your PMO addiction and ED or end the relationship.

You need to reboot there is no pill that will solve your problem. I’m fact in your case the pill creates a problem that is just as bad, delayed ejaculation. My partner had that and it was horrible, the blue pill makes DE even worse. Your girl likely already feels that you are not attracted to her and it’s killinf her self esteem. You have to tell her what you are going through or she will leave. And you can’t reboot without her support. If you choose to have sex during your reboot that’s okau but do not use your hand at all. If you can’t finish during sex, please her, stop and try again another day. She needs to be your sole source of O. If you follow these suggestions then I am fairly certain you will be functioning normally in a few months,

 

Listen to GG2002. Excellent advice.

 

The only way you fix yourself is a hard reboot. That means no PMO at all.

 

Hi, Seagull. Thanks for sharing! I used the pill in the last relationship I was in. It helped with sex but, as you said, it killed any spontaneity. I haven't had sex since I began no fapping, so I wish I could report more.

 

i am in the exact same boat, having had to use blue pill to artificially get philyslically excited and overcome performance anxiety, meanwhile all it does is prolong sex with no o. I'm getting conflicting info as to whether no PMO at all for 90days would work as opposed to maintaining o from the girl I am dating. (I still have to break the ice about my issue and if she doesn't stick around then it's definitely hard reboot time)

 

How long have you been dating? How many times have you had sex and not been able to O from her? Have you tried to have sex without the pill? Here’s the deal from a lady who dated a man who had DE from day One. The first few times if you can’t reach O or if you take forever or even have ED most women blow it off as nerves. But if it continues we start to think it’s us, that you are not attracted to us, we are not sexy or bad in bed. And we get bored with sex that lasts forever and it makes us less inclined to want it. We want to please you too and feel like a failure. If you don’t discuss this with her she will leave you. The only chance you have is to be completely honest with her and ask for her help in your recovery. If she says no and leaves then you really have not lost anything. If she was never going to support you it’s better you find that out now. Many women will be supportive if you are honest. The longer you go without telling her the more she will feel deceived. Addictions and issues with ED are things that seriously effect her if she stays with you, she has the right to make that decision herself. She will find out if you tell her or not and if that’s a year from now she’s going to feel very betrayed.

You are getting mixed answers on whether to do hard mode or continue sex because the answer is different for everyone. Most people already married or in long term relationships find that having sex is okay others find it triggers them to relapse. If you chose to have sex you MUST O only from her. Do not touch yourself other than to wash or use the bathroom. Do not stimulate yourself even during sex. If you can’t finish stop and try again another day do not MO to finish.

Often in a new relationship though having sex during reboot is just too much. You will never reboot successfully with a partner if you don’t tell her. She needs to provide support and you need to feel comfortable with her in the event you have DE or ED. The stress of a new relationship often is too much. Oh and if she leaves you it’s not time to reboot it’s time to reboot no matter what.

First be honest with her. If she stays throw out the blue pills and only O from her. No pmo no hands from you. If you take the pill how do you know if you can naturally perform in bed? It may take time but you will no longer need that pill. But you will never get there if you don’t stop. Pmo is in your mind that’s why you can’t O. It’s an arousal issue. You can’t get there because your mind is not stimulated (it’s bedn burnt out by porn) and your P is used to your hand. A blue bill just creates a physical reaction, not a sexual one. And bring with a man with DE is not fun.

If she leaves go hard mode, get into counseling and ditch the pill. When the next girl comes around you want to be clean and ready.

 

The pill is a crutch.

 

I have ED from anti depressant use not porn. Porn just aggravates my problem. The blue pills just get you hard under normal circumstances. With no PMO I can have one or two good ejaculations a month with a woman. It’s a sign of my age, medical issues, etc. Just bite the bullet and go hard mode as long as possible. To me hard mode has become a lifestyle because I have no choice and it works. I want a strong healthy dick for a woman before anything else.

 

First thank you for the great and helpful feedback especially from the other side's perspective, it's very much appreciated.

We've only been dating for a very short time. Only had sex twice, both attempts had no completion on my part. I've been in the habit of using the pill just initially to overcome the nerves since I know I've had performance anxiety issues with any new sexual partners in the past. I know I've now developed a purely psychological dependancy on using it because the amount I take is so little, like a quarter of a 5mg pill just before the act so I know it probably physically isn't enough of a dosage/time to take effect but somehow it helps.. I usually ween myself off the more I have sex with the person and then am able to get an erection without it eventually.

back in my earlier days I would have been mortified at the prospect of having to open up about something so embarrassing for a guy, to a girl I've only been dating recently. This was further reinforced when I actually did muster the courage to raise this to a girl I was in love with some years back, but couldnt perform with, and the reaction I got was so negative and made me feel even more of a failure. I had a similar reaction with another ex later on but she had been a bit more understanding and eventually I did manage to perform and have a normal sex life at that time (she had been the only one I was able to perform and finish with 99% of the time we had sex). After that breakup, thinking I was finally cured and once I was ready to date again, I began dating another girl and noticed the performance issues return (Only able to finish maybe 25% of the time (she was unaware of the issue however, as I faked a lot of o's which is crazy I know), and of that percentage almost entirely from prolongued hand stimulation from her).

Now I'm back to square one with this new girl... that said, I've learned a lot from my years of dealing with this and am older and more jaded now so I will definitely open up to her and be up front. I'm going to put it out there that I completely understand if she doesn't want to deal with this and wants to run. She has been patient and after i got called out faking an o, she seemed disappointed at first but then fully understanding of the pressure guys feel sometimes and its effect on performance (right she thinks it was an isolated event due to nerves). It's funny because over the years, I've gotten very good at pleasing rather than being pleased, and I've been accepting and come to expect that I'm fine if I don't o during sex. My focus then organically changed to making sure the girl o's thinking that as long as they do, why would they care if I did or not. And again the new norm for me with sex was going through the motion, expecting not to come, knowing that I'll PMO later on my own and get my release.. really bad spiraling self-fulfilling prophecy that is hard to undo..



So If she runs, then I can focus on a hard reboot for minimum of 90 days but likely longer (as long as I can go).

If she sticks around,
I plan to not PM or arouse myself in any fashion and only sexual contact will be with her and by her only. I'm not sure if this will work or how this will work compared to a hard reboot but I'll give it a chance . Worst case which may end up being the best case , is she runs and I can hard reboot without distractions (how's that for being jaded..lol)

 

You said you had another partner you were able to O with right? So you CAN do it. If she is able to accept you and help you out it will go a long way that alleviate your own nerves. Just give it time and think positively that it will work. What do you have to lose if it does not? 90 days without pmo? I know giving pmo up is hard but far too often i read men who gave it up got two weeks saw no improvement and said this will never work and started pmo again. It’s likr being on a diet for a week and not understanding why you have not lost five pounds? You say but other people lose five pounds in a week? Sure they do but we are all different. It took a very long time to develop this habit it’s going to take awhile to stop it. You have not been clean for even close to the time that you should be saying this won’t work!

If my ex would have told me month one about his pmo issues I suspect we would have had a larger chance and being together. You can start working on the problem right away together, meaning you are not dealing with months or years of horrible sex by the time you finally start to address the issues. Months and years of bad sex builds bitterness and the deception kills the relationship.

Falling in love means being vulnerable. That means you show the person all of you the good and the bad.

And please stop focusing on her during sex. She wants to please you as well and many pmo addicts fall into the trap that if they can be so good in bed in pleasing her she won’t notify you can’t O she will and it’s not fun for her no matter how skilled you are.

Finally often times people with anxiety disorder psych themselves out. Their mind is so busy thinking about the what if’s that they can’t focus on the present. If you are constantly thinking during sex about how you won’t O or numerous other anxious thoughts how can you think about sex? Push those thoughts out by really focusing on what’s going on in bed I think that may help.

 

That is so true, and I know I do tend to overthink in the moment and it kills the arousal because the main concern is whether I will or won't be able to o this time.. I have to learn to just disconnect and enjoy the moment again.

Yes I have been able to have a somewhat normal sex life with the last real long term gf a few years back and it was so freeing, it's a double edged aword though because on the one hand, I know that I physically can do it since I did for about 2 or 3 years, But on the other it makes it so much worse knowing that there was a period of time where I was normal and had experienced this sort of level of pleasure being able to o together even, and now having gone back to not being able to at all and knowing what I missing out on is so frustrating. Again probably overthinking and causing undue anxiety..

The thing is i never truly realized that PMO could have this kind of extensive and damaging effects and repercussions. I mean we all sort of intrinsically understand it's 'bad' in that it's a taboo thing, but even then, watching porn has become a norm. I had noticed over the years that the genres I watched did progressively become more hardcore but again never realized the damage being caused.

As far as stopping this, I have no fear in terms of having the will power. In a similar way, i never realized how my eating habits which I thought were healthy, in reality were not, and after informing myself and researching into it, I had all the facts and literally changed my habits overnight. Went 2 years of intense intermittent fasting protocol (going from eating 6-7 meals a day bodybuilding approach, to 2 meals with a 16 hour fasting period ). So I can definitely say that I have the willpower to do anything once I sign onto it).

I feel like this will be the same thing. Now that I fully realize how damaging it is, I genuinely believe I will be able to cut PMO out of my life if it means healing from this horrible issue and living a normal healthy sex life.