Delayed and Zero Ejaculation during sex

My brain cant process this. How on earth would it be possible that she didnt notice that?

 

I think that if a woman is sexually inexperienced or they are using condoms he could fake it. I am engaged to a man with delayed ejaculation due to porn use. In a year he only came with me once from oral sex and it was when we were on a three week vacation and he had no access to porn and did not masterbate. From your perspective at least you know you have a problem with it and it's what likely caused the DE. My fiancé lied to the counselor and says he would stop but he did not. He did not think it was a problem. He just went hard mode after I caught him and threatened to leave and it's been two weeks. I wish I could tell you that stopping masturbation and porn will fix your DE but I am not sure. I am hopeful for you and for my relationship. And all I can say to you is it can't hurt to try. The fact that my fiancé was able to orgasm with me in the three weeks he had no access to porn or masterbation gives me hope. But the problem is that most men won't stop. So please take my advice and stop it cold turkey. Be honest with your fiancé. Hiding it makes everything worse. Realize that you are giving up porn to have a better life with her. For most women DE kills their self esteem and causes huge problems in the relationship. It does not have much to do with wanting kids because there are plenty of other ways to get the speed to meet the egg. Good luck to you!

 

Less than a week after stopping PMO/MO my significant other got me off for the first time in 6 months. Still no PIVO (in two attempts since then). I too struggle with the "There are some times when it feels I am about to, but then nothing comes" issue. I think this is more of a mental thing than a physical thing for me. I think I'm so caught up with wanting to that I don't let myself just relax. A big part of my discussions with her is to have intimacy without expectations - but that is way easier to say than to do. I agree that hiding it makes everything worse. I also agree that you need to stop cold turkey. You need to educate yourself on the porn industry, and ask yourself why a multi-billion dollar a year industry that traffics women for sex, is rife with violence, exposes actors to STDs/risks for the sake of selling more product, and feeds off of both actors and viewers with low self esteem, deserves any space in your life.

The bottom line for me is this: am I a man, or not? A man stands up for the oppressed. A man has integrity. A man can be honest with himself and those he loves. A man is not only capable of showing his vulnerability (i.e. being honest about his weaknesses and desires), but can listen and accept other people's vulnerability as well.

As someone else told me on these forums, as far as the DE issue goes - it might just be the way we are wired. Porn may have absolutely nothing to do with it. If that's the case, then so be it. There are a myriad of other reasons - all good ones - to not look at porn beyond DE or even ED.

I'm rooting for you!

 

Porn will do that but so will certain medications, especially for blood pressure and depression.

 

I agree on that's the just how you are wired thing if you listen to Dan Savage he says that. If it's lifelong I think that's the case if not it's probably related to something else. Many men who struggle with DE even every once in awhile turn to PMO because they think it helps or maybe it's just easier because sex with a partner has become too stressful. Often it's a case of what came first the chicken or the egg? I think if the man has had this for most of his life his partner may need to accept that he may only ever be able to O from his own hand, with you of course and without P. But many women like me can't accept a sex life that consists of that we want him to O in us. In those cases it's best for the couple to split. It's really a sexual incompatibility issue.

 

Oh definitely if you recently started taking a new med and the DE came on after that for sure talk to your doctor.

 

So I just wanted to comment on tightness and DE because I see that a lot. I am super tight. I am so tight that when I have not had sex in a few days it takes quite sometime to get inside me. I have never had kids and I am 5'1 with a small frame. I've actually in my life had mostly men who came too quickly due to the tightness. My current partner with DE is the largest I've ever been with and Trust me when I tell you it's a very snug fit. I am not diminishing that this may be something you believe causes the problem but when I read it I hear this "it's my current partners issue, if only she were tighter I could owe. It's not the PMO it's her. Phew I don't need to stop." You can replace tighter with skinniner, wilder in bed, more my type, bigger boobs etc. no woman's vagina will ever replicate your hand.