Deep Funk when's the right time?

Then why did she say I broke her why did she say that she liked me why did she say she was ready to date again? Look I can accept the criticism or critique bc you are right looking back I should have done something clearly . But now everything she said on how I made her feel that one ill fated December day I actually feel. She told me she didn't want to know about any new gf but why,? If she was a friend she should want to see me happy. I took offense to what she said. Told her simply that if I were to get married I'd want her there to share in the happiness.

It's hard for me to comprehend that she feels the way I feel now. Especially after what I told her about myself. It's hard for me to accept that even if she does know how I feel she's not making it better . I mean I don't know what I'd do in her situation. Im spiraling a little and I'm about to lose all that I gained these past years.

I did things for myself and my own personal gratification based off her inspiration. That's what's messing me up. I mean I should be inspired most by God and not the woman. Im cognicent enough to understand my error but my spirit is hurting. My energy is low. My eyes are heavy with water these days . I'm sulking. Avoiding my apartment bc I don't want to have to think too much when I'm there all alone.

I've had people on here state that I love her unconditionally but I'm trying to differentiate what's love and just emotional immaturity and insecurity in my end. Some of this can very well be just a coming of age experience even though I'm 35 and should have somewhat a handle on the relationships I have in my life.

 

Yeah I don't blame my advice is aweful .

I've been talking too much here the past two weeks I thank my fellow peers to listen in here and there and chime in. Some of what I said sounds nauseating now I look back. My thread on this is rapidly coming to a near. I work on me. In order to find me I have to take plunge test my will and spirit daily second by second . No time for outside distractions just a mission for successful landings. I woke up today and with new life. I think I might have just won my early battle with depression.