Deck Log

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Reboot Logs' started by Deleted Account, Dec 12, 2018.

  1. Progress Report

    Day 3 -
    Broke harmful PMO cycle

    Day 5 - Started to notice an increase in confidence.

    Day 7 - Intense confidence boost.

    Day 10 - First urges appeared. Mild decrease in social confidence.

    Day 11 - Strong urges due to triggers. Social confidence sustaining.

    Day 12 - No urges. Social confidence could use a boost.
     
  2. 12/16/18
    Cold showers have significantly decreased urges. Even when triggers are presented I have no urge to engage in PMO. There is currently too much on the line to jeopardize my health and well being. Still noticing a fair amount of social anxiety. Most likely due to unhealthy appearance and not PMO effects.
     
  3. I relapsed 10 hours before I was going to break my 18 day goal. Now I sit and meditate on my failure in my room 2 weeks later trying to break an intense 3 day binge cycle that has resulted in a flatline throughout my holiday season.

    Here is what caused my relapse:

    1.) Stress of failing an academic final
    2.) Personally counting my days on a calendar
    3.) Feeling as if it was not rebooting was not natural
    4.) YouTube triggers

    Here is why I made it to 18 days:

    1.) Cold showers
    2.) Panic Button
    3.) Reflecting on how awesome I felt overall

    Now as I embark once again on my journey towards a better life I remind myself internally and externally that PMO is causing a lack of drive, lack of confidence, increased social anxiety, the tendency to snap at loved ones, unhealthy sleep and eating habits, a feeling of being in limbo, brain fog, confusion, and lastly a lack of emotion.
     
  4. I have been stuck in a 3 day PMO cycle for 17 days. I am not sure why I am having so much trouble escaping. I feel tired and I am getting sick because of it. PMO is affecting my health and that alone is not motivating my body.

    I am going to attempt to make it to a month and reassess when I have more motivation. My only goal now is to keep moving forward.
     

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