Day One!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by HeisenbergBlue, Feb 13, 2015.

  1. HeisenbergBlue

    HeisenbergBlue Fapstronaut

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    Greetings to the NoFap Community. I have stumbled upon this website through a webpage explaining many reasons to stop Masturbating. My last PMO was on the 11/02/2015. I am fully aware of all of the benefits that come with abstaining from porn and masturbation. I have attempted to no fapping and no Porn in the past, in which i had only been successful for 30 days. This was around 2 years ago. During the 30 days, there was a massive improvement in energy, confidence, vitality, discipline.. etc. Then i jumped back on the porn bandwagon and fell victim to this terrible habit which continuously made me feel like a worthless piece of shit, and destroyed all of the traits i needed to be successful. Im sure you are all aware of this feeling. I have since been struggling to concentrate on fulfilling my aims and goals. Im studying computer programming at home and i have various goals i want to achieve in this area, along with my health and fitness goals. Simply put, watching porn and masturbating continuously destroys my energy being put into these activities, and instead of working on my studies and building up focus in the gym, I'm being a lazy piece of shit and half assed with everything.

    This has been the story of my life so far... I Become HIGHLY motivated and set goals(including to stop watching porn and masturbation).. I would then Go between 2 and 7 days with no masturbation, but still look and naked pictures/porn... which would fuel my mind with dirt, and then yes, you guessed it, id masturbate to porn, and feel worthless and not chase my goals as i should. Back to square one. I have been going around in circles. Since i started masturbation at the age of 14, the continuous use of porn has seamlessly destroyed me. I went to incredible lengths to search for more and more sick porn as time went on, as i could not even get off to the sight of a naked women on screen anymore. I would search for hours sometimes, finding the right video.. not only that, but to find the right scene in a video to orgasm to. It gets worse, i went through stages where using my own hand was not satisfying. I had to interact with objects to get myself off, thats right!, american pie style!. Desensitisation occurred. I have also recently invested in a Medical Penis device to straighten out my penis curve which has developed from vigorously beating off. I have suffered with weak erections at times, I am currently 21 years old.

    I am no stranger to attempting to abstain from this life destroying habit, and i know how hard it is to stop. All attempts in the past have gone terribly wrong. I believe the use and interaction with a fantastic forum like such, will help me finally stay positive, committed and move forward. I registered yesterday and i like to say i really like the counter implementation. This will help me track progress and i just think it looks great. I have read up on a some threads to find many people in the same boat. Some of the success stories are highly motivating. This brings me onto my next point, in which i hope will help some of you guys. Understand that motivation is like a drug. Its great when your highly motivated, you feel like your on cloud 9, you make many commitments and goals. But oh wait, what happens when the motivation disappears ?? You come crashing down and may end up falling victim to this terrible habit. BOOM, square one. Motivation is nothing without discipline. I have recently learned that it is discipline that we should all be committed to. Continuously carrying out habits on a daily basis which will help us achieve our goals. I recommend all of you look into having Cold Showers, these will help tremendously. In recent months, i have been lazy with attempts to stop porn and masturbation, but now I'm damn right fed up. I want to succeed in my goals and work towards them instead of sitting in front of my laptop/iphone for hours, rubbing objects on me to get myself off for only 5 seconds of orgasm.

    I am HeisenbergBlue, and here, my road to AlphaMale starts,

    Suffer the pain of discipline, or suffer the pain of regret.
     
  2. Triangle

    Triangle Fapstronaut

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    Best of luck Man.

    There are so many bases to cover all at the same time as we work through the hours, days and weeks of NoFap.

    In my opinion we require self control and motivation all at the same time. I have been a sex/porn addict for nearly twenty years and have been trying to stop for the last few years. I'm not as bad as I was - hookers,asian massage parlours, swingers clubs, cheating on gfs etc - I have stopped that. But I have still been PMO roughly every ten days or so.

    Control includes handcuffing strategies - porn blockers, avoiding situations you know will be tempting, maybe avoiding danger times - when we feel lonely or hungover. It also includes reinforcing your own powers of self-discipline. Constantly pushing yourself to get past your urges. Slowing down the mind through meditation /mindfulness so we can spot an urge coming and DECIDE not to M.

    Motivation includes negative and positive motivational factors.
    Negative - The FEAR of throwing our lives away. The GUILT and REMORSE we feel for the others we have hurt or the damage we have done to our own lives. The SHAME of being a failure, letting others down etc.
    Positive motivation is the most helpful to me. Dreaming of a future happy life, of freedom, of amazing loving sensual sex with a woman I love and trust. A family.

    One thing that helped me was this paper on Transcending Temptation. How if we remember a time or imagine a future time when we will feel amazing at having achieved our goals this feeling will overpower petty temptations. Its really helped me .

    Its a bit daunting to read at first because it seems a bit academic but it has changed my entire approach to resisting urges. I keep these high level motivations in my mind all day every day. This stops the temporary surges of motivation that eventually die off and leave us vulnerable. It gives us a more purposeful sense of motivation. Motivations that stay with us for life.

    All the best on your journey bro.

    http://labs.psy.ohio-state.edu/fujita/documents/Fujita-Carnevale(2012).pdf
     
  3. ACLHFM

    ACLHFM Fapstronaut

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    Hi HeisenbergBlue,

    I agree with your observation about what happens when motivation disappears. We need discipline to get us through the tough times. I also believe that we need motivation to strengthen and renew our discipline.
    I have found keeping a journal on this site to be a great tool for reminding me of my motivation to quit PMO. It is too easy to forget the harm that it has caused me when the urges strike, so that is why I have found it to be very important to constantly remind myself my reasons for abstaining.

    I like what you said: "Suffer the pain of discipline, or suffer the pain of regret." Enduring the pain of discipline is worth it: the pain lessens over time and eventually disappears, leaving only happiness. The pain of bad habits, on the other hand, increases over time and leads to suffering. However, if we can use this suffering to motivate us to jump out of our current state then it has not all been for nothing!
    I wish you the best on your journey.

    -ACLHFM
     
  4. HeisenbergBlue

    HeisenbergBlue Fapstronaut

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    @Triangle, Thanks for posting that helpful link. I read over it a few times and it makes sense. I am going to apply this to myself to help me resist urges. Do the urges roughly take over you every 10 days or so? and you watch porn ?? Whats the longest you have gone without a reset ?? I live in a household with 7 people, share a bedroom with 3 brothers, yet it still takes over and i find ways to overcome obstacles to PMO. My iPhone is my main source of porn. I have successfully implemented porn blockers through google, to restrict adult material. The problem is, i am using my laptop a lot as i study from home, so the temptations are going to be crazy no doubt. I planned on using this website as my main source to resist the urges. Developing the willpower and discipline is going to be tough. However, there is plenty of motivation through this site to help me fully commit. Being part of this community, we can work together to overcome the obstacles that are put in front of us.

    I also plan on participating in a yoga/mediation regimen like you mentioned. I take it this helps you tremendously ?

    Thanks - HeisenbergBlue
     
  5. HeisenbergBlue

    HeisenbergBlue Fapstronaut

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    Thanks ACLHFM, i hope to boost and replenish my motivation through this website. This was my problem in my past, i would lose it so quickly and have no source to get me motivated. I am now more committed than ever, and i will reach my goal of 365 days of No PMO. Its a big statement to make, but I'm down right done with the effects of PMO. And making statements like such will allow me to look back at these posts when facing an urge, grind my teeth, forget about it, and get shit done to accomplish what i want. Im going to be in control now, not my dick. Im going to start a journal myself. I believe this will help tremendously. Well done on 65 days, and keep it up.

    Peace
     
  6. Aryan

    Aryan Fapstronaut

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    First of all CONGRATULATIONS for choosing the way of life you will always be proud of.Its hard,painful and totally worth it.I was the guy who could never get to Day 3 for a entire year and fapped 7 times a day at the maximum destroying many pathetic days.
    If you have not then read these articles on masturbation addiction:
    http://fightpornaddiction.com/mastur...ion-explained/
    http://fightpornaddiction.com/how-to...ion-addiction/
    and porn addiction too..
    http://www.tigerfreedom.com/5-mind-b...t-pornography/
    Also read something awesome about sex transmutation where you can channelize sex energy to other aspects of life and not physical outlet...
    http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm
    http://www.tigerfreedom.com/power-se...top-releasing/
    GOOD LUCK
     
  7. HeisenbergBlue

    HeisenbergBlue Fapstronaut

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