Day one !!!

I am 29. This is the first day , I hope , of a whole new approach to life.

I found P at a very young age. I started with magazines when I was 9 or 10. I then found soft core pornography on cable TV.

I didn't immediately start M&O. I just liked to look.

I remember vividly my first O. I was 11. I was fantasising about Pamela Anderson late at night in bed and it happened like an explosion.

It didn't become a habit until I was 12/13. Then I was hooked.

Magazines , Catalogues , Newspapers , Fantasies : I remember Kirsten Dunst was a big trigger for me back then.

Then I found the internet .

Celeb pics to start with . Then regular pornography .

Pretty quickly it was part of my daily routine, & I wanted more and more of everything . Every type of porn that you can imagine .

I remember PE became an occasional problem at 15/16. But I had a quick refractory time , & so it wasn't too much of a problem.

Weak erections didn't become a problem until I was 19/20. Initially it was intermittent, but I vividly remember one forgettable night . I was with a girl , a friend of a friend from college , & I could barely get myself started.

At that point I had a daily routine of internet porn , I was streaming porn from websites a couple of times a day.

I went through a brief phase of sex lines & flesh lights when I was 24/25.

I then started seeing prostitutes when I was 25/26.

I PMO almost every day .

I don't enjoy it much anymore . It's more like a life - chore: Shower , Shave , brush teeth, PMO.

The early morning PMO sessions have caused me problems over the years. I've been late for work on more than one occasion because of PMO. I have even skipped the morning shower & breakfast so that I can have PMO instead .

I have reached a point now where I am intermittently taking V so that I can perform when I am with a woman.

Recently I found myself reading a blog about ED & PE. The author mentioned porn addiction & I had an instant moment of realisation.

"Low energy , Low libido , lack of motivation, low muscle mass, poor relationships with women.... "

I thought to myself : 'Holy shit ! That's me Bro! . That's me too !!!'.

I found a thread on rebooting and I decided that I have to give this a try .

I realise now that I have tricked myself , with pornography , into subconsciously believing that I am having sex every day with celebrities & pornstars .

Instead , I am having a relationship with a computer screen & I'm neglecting the rest of my life.

Subconsciously , I'm rejecting women in my personal life because my subconscious has gotten used to having sex with celebrities & porn stars , and the women in my personal life don't hold up to the women my subconscious has now gotten used to.

I have therefore decided to reboot.

I have decided to start with 90 days abstinence from PMO.

Today is the first day.

I hope that it goes well....