Day 87: How I defeated Paid Sex/Escorts Demon + One Must Know Advise For All Fapstronauts

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Rajat Kumar, May 18, 2018 at 6:28 AM.

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  1. Rajat Kumar

    Rajat Kumar Fapstronaut

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    Hey Bros! :)

    How are you doing? Hope you are keeping up well with your streak, learning to manage your urges and fixing your life at each level.


    It's my first rebooting attempt and I have been doing great in general. Considering I stay alone for the most part of my day ( I am a freelancer ), I had to let go off a lot of things and fix a lot of voids to reach this stage, and so I do spend a lot of time on this forum.

    I was into paid sex earlier and had sexual encounters with a lot of ladies ( I never entered into any relationship). It was something that had been a part of my life for the last 3 years before I started this amazing journey.

    The post is a bit long. Why don't make yourself a coffee and give it a read? I am sure you can certainly relate to some things.

    You can check out my 30 days update: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...e-to-discover-real-man-30-days-update.163406/
    ( I will include the link at the last. Keep reading! ;) )


    Day 87: An Unusual Day

    And yesterday, on day 87, I became a little dull and moody after having a nightfall. Furthermore, my mom left early to her boutique shop and as you can guess, I was pretty much alone like rest of the days.
    But instead of starting with my general routine,
    I had a thought to check the newest ladies at my place. I knew that it was a dangerous thought and I could be thrown back to square one again.

    But I followed the thought.

    And the next thing I knew, I was texting a number of brokers at my place who were sharing with me all the latest ladies in the town and their corresponding prices.

    I really felt that I should stop this thing right now. I really wanted to uninstall the Whatsapp ( which I ended up installing only for this ) but something kept me going.



    And within some time, I was looking at all the escorts/ladies and getting a bit horny. I had made a pact to never ever touch my D no matter what happens and I am glad that I did stick to that. It's certainly not a toy to be played with.

    And after really exhausting some of my mental energy, I just kept my phone aside, turned off the mobile data and got lost in some deep thinking. Now my D had already become flaccid.

    I started reflecting back on my old life and my sexual encounters with ladies. And I had a couple of questions that I really wanted to be clear with instead of going my past ways.

    What is this whole thing about paid sex? What would I gain? How did it feel in the past?

    And I started pouring all of my thoughts in my notebook, which generally stays right on my bed. Here is my thought and how I ended up beating this demon with pure understanding and vigilance.


    Thoughts About Paid Sex ( Do Read This )

    The whole sexual industry is based on the simple thing: Man is physically and mentally stronger than women but lacks a lot in self-control (I read somewhere that women possess almost 8 times better self-control than us; not sure though).

    That's what this sexual world takes advantage of. That's what the ladies take advantage of. Since we lack self-restraint and haven't developed any great understanding of our sexual body, the world takes advantage of that, no matter where we go. You see this everywhere - from social media to TV shows, from books to advertisements - everyone exploits this weakness of man.

    _____________________________________________________


    Furthermore, when I took my phone and started really looking at those ladies, they clearly looked filthy and disgusting. Their eyes told the complete story.
    The intense makeup and arousing dresses spoke the same story. When you take off that lusty look and pay a close attention to all their bodily aspects, you would reach the same conclusion.

    _____________________________________________________


    And think about this: Man spends his money for those sexual encounters. Man loses his vital semen and gets crippled physically and mentally for a couple of days. Man kills his time and productivity. He then has to eat a lot and take a lot of rest to recover back his lost energy ( which he never does completely ). He lies to his parents and loved ones to get involved in this debauchery. He sells his honour and respect.

    And what about the lady ( just the bigger picture ) - She remains safely at her place. She gets our hard earned money. She gets longer pleasures than man at the physical level. And she doesn't lose a considerable amount of energy as a man does.

    Who suffers more? Though the man goes out to fuck, it's he who gets fucked more after the encounter.

    _____________________________________________________


    And moreover, there are a lot of people online who are trying to ruin the man by taking advantage of the same thing. When a man is horny and gets aroused, he ends up losing his sense of judgement. He would end up doing anything for that 5 sec pleasure.

    And who can be a better example to this than me? I paid several occasions in advance only to find myself getting blocked from the other side and lose my money.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------


    That Night When I Was Fooled

    I still remember that one night when I was so excited to meet up a girl whom I had been talking online. She was an escort. She talked amazingly with me and I booked her up for a night. She told me her address.

    And I was waiting outside her building for her. And then she asked me to send the money in advance and told me that she is now coming down to pick me up. I insisted her on taking cash but she didn't agree. I had ridden some distance to meet her and now I was becoming quite impatient to see her.

    I told her - " Okay, but make sure you are here right after I transfer."

    And I did the transfer. And she blocked me up the moment I sent her money. It was a cold night. I wasn't wearing the right clothes. And I kept calling her but she had blocked me up.

    I didn't even know if she was living there. I didn't even know which floor she might be in ( there were at least 20 floors in that ).

    And I felt like a loser. " How easy is it to get rid of people in this online world?" I wondered.

    And I went out and got a pack of cigarettes and smoked like a jackass through the whole night while she received my hard earned money, slept like a queen and might have gone for shopping the next day. It wasn't easy to tell this story for sure.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    And this part is about the sexual experience with escorts. Even if you go out to make out with her, she won't be willing to do certain things for sure that you may fantasize about.

    Of course, she is a lady and you just can't force her to do things which she ain't comfortable doing. She would lie down in front of you like a rock and you would be pounding her like a jackhammer. How can you be satisfied with this?

    I did have S with a few ladies who lied there like a rock and showed a little emotion. I even had a hard time staying erect. And I finally had to use my hands to wipe out that 5 sec itch.

    And sexual pleasure is temporary mate. Once you do it, you would want it more with different ladies and different positions ( Sorry about this ). No matter how many times you do it,
    you would never be able to have enough of it. I realized how I used to say, " This is my last "every time but could never able to stop myself from seeking more and doing more. Once you pop, you can't stop.

    _____________________________________________________

    And I was so desperate about that itch, but I never thought about the other party.

    Does she really enjoy doing this? Does she really love this? What brings her here? Don't you think she is someone's sister, daughter and a future wife? If you are indulging in this debauchery, would it be fair for you to ask a virgin bride ( it's still something that people in India care about)? Don't you think what you do would be returned back to you and you may someday be getting married to a lady who had multiple sexual encounters? Think about this.

    She ends up having the wrong perception of the male community. She would have a hard time understanding that women can be loved outside of the physical level. She ends up getting dependent on this thing for she gets great sums of money. She gets abused at a verbal and physical level for not all the men are nice. Some end up being demanding too. She spoils her spirit.

    Though I never used to have any proper conversation with ladies, here's the one where I talked to a lady ( she was a young girl; must be near 20) and did exchange some dialogues.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Conversation with an Escort Young Teen

    I: How did you get into this?
    She : ( she had found me nice, young and decided to open to me)
    My dad passed away when I was young and we were three sisters. Mom used to go to other people houses and do cleaning work. She could never keep us satisfied for the money was meagre. And someone told me that a man ( where she went for cleaning ) used to force her up physically. I have seen her crying multiple times but I was too young to understand the things. Due to lack of money, I couldn't study beyond 8th class. And I came here for I never wanted my mom to suffer at that level. Finally, I pushed myself into this thing for this is the quickest way to make some money.

    Of course, my mom thinks that I am doing some good job in the city. I can't tell her about this.

    [​IMG]

    ( she started crying and I had to give her some time to be better. I didn't know how to react to that )

    I: Why don't you do something else?
    She: Who is going to give a job to 8th class passed out in a metro city like this? Do you know any job?
    ( And I was silent )

    I: What do you do with the money?
    She: I give most of it back to home for I want my sisters to get married to a good man. Mom has some medical expenses too. I keep the minimum money for my monthly expenses.

    I: Do you like the feeling of sex?
    She: Yes, I do but I feel disgusted with my body. It's great to have sex with whom you love but here people treat you us as an object, use you once and never see you again. I don't even deserve to be in hell for what I am doing to my soul and body.

    I: How many males you see each day. What's the age-group?
    She: I see 30+ males each day. ( I bet we can't even satisfy 5 ladies in a day ! ) Most of them are old and ugly. Only a few young people like you come here. You really don't look that bad. Why don't you have a girlfriend?
    I: I don't want to go through all the process.
    She: So let's start. What do you say?
    I: I am a little confused.
    She: You really have paid some significant money. Let's get started. You are a good man.

    And we had S then. I promised to meet her again and take her out on date/to see the city but that never happened. I deleted her number accidentally and then continued with more sexual encounters. But I would remember that brave lady for sure.

    It's amazing how I could recollect this 1 year back conversation with quite a lot of accuracy. I still remember her innocent face. I can still see her crying. And yet,
    I couldn't control this lusty animal inside of me. How this world, society and my friends made me a monster with no respect and emotions!!

    Always remember that there is always another angle to the situation. While I was there for a completely selfish lusty reason, someone was fighting in a life and death situation. Your little conversation can mean a world to them.

    _____________________________________________________

    And we think that we can protect ourselves by just taking right precautions? Yes, you may protect yourself physically but what about the damage you cause to your spirit?

    What about the mental and physical shock that you suffer after ejaculation? What about regret and shame that you would have for a really long time?

    Even now, though I have forgiven myself for that sinful life, I still get haunted by those sexual meetings and I get filled up with shame and guilt. They are still going to be there with me for really some time.

    _____________________________________________________

    It did take me some time to recollect my past stories, analyse the things based on my current understanding levels and pouring all of my thoughts into a notebook.

    You know who can change your life. Read the first word again!

    A sense of achievement was very evident. With a better level of understanding and awareness, I slew the demon right on its face.

    After spending nearly 5 hours in all these things, I deleted off all the profiles that had entered my gallery. Removed all the contacts. Uninstalled Whatsapp.

    Hit some 20 pushups. And went out for a long walk. Though I couldn't get anything done yesterday, I was still amazed by the new person I had become. Thanks for reading.


    One Tip For All Fapstronauts to make it big in First Attempt:
    Being alone for the most part of the day. Being a freelancer, it's very easy for a person like me to get relapsed ( By no means, I mean to boast myself or my streak ).

    But there is something that I believe that every one of us must spend time on. You have to remember that brain is the largest sexual organ in the body. And so it's the brain that controls your hands and genitals. You don't need to get rid of your hands or genitals to cure yourself ( just kidding ); once you transform your understanding, raise your awareness level and remove all the brainwashing, rebooting becomes so much easier.


    Suppose I give you an algebra problem to solve without telling any of its basics to you. Would you be ever able to solve that problem even in 100 attempts? No. A certain no whether you try 100 times. You would fail because you don't understand algebra.

    The same way: think about this. Would be ever able to beat your enemy if you don't know about it? If you don't understand its weaknesses? No, he would defeat you each time. The better you know yourself and your enemy, easier it is to defeat him. Now, how does it relate to NoFap?

    You have to first understand this PMO addiction. You have to know each aspect of it properly. What is it? Why do you do it? How does it make you feel? Why does losing semen make you feel so pathetic?

    Go to sites like this ( Your Brain On Porn ) and read about it. Read this ebook (Warning: There is a section in the book that goes a bit racist. But if you have an open mind, it shouldn't worry you ) if you wish to know how masturbation affects you. There are so many other resources to read from. This one is especially powerful ( it's a book on brahmacharya which talks about physical and mental purity ). If you can't spend some time to know your enemy, how do you expect to beat him when he comes to show up? So take a notebook, read about this addiction and refer them to gain an edge. That's how I am able to continue my streak in the first go because I spend first few weeks in reading about my enemy. It's your brain that controls your hand and genitals. If brain understands this addiction, you are one step ahead of everyone here who is merely using willpower to quit.


    Moreover, I do know some people here who have got so much busy with their life that they forget about PMO altogether. But the brainwashing still remains and they might be back to the square one someday.

    Also, the most successful people here happen to be the ones who are quite religious or have found some faith in Him. He never disappoints. I am planning to start reading Gita to improve my mental clarity. Now, I am certain that I can go 2 years clean and achieve my dream of becoming a millionaire. I am certain that I have discovered the key that I had been looking for for a long time.:cool:

    I plan to write a detailed post after reaching 120 days.:D ( Nothing stops me now )

    To all the brothers and sisters who are fighting, keep going. Ask yourself: Is fapping natural? Did our ancestors used to do it for the Internet is a fairly new thing? Did you ever need it before you became hooked on this? Have you been blessed with amazing hormone like testosterone so that you fap to pixels and get insulted in real-world encounters? You already know the answers to all of this.

    [​IMG]

    I hope all of you get what you aspire for. :) This beautiful life is worth fighting for. This is the key to achieving anything that you can imagine. All the best to everyone! I would be glad to help you out if you need assistance at any stage.


    100 Likes

    I would be glad if you hit the like before leaving. It would surely help me write more content for you amazing people. Help this reach a 100 likes!!

    30 Days Post

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...e-to-discover-real-man-30-days-update.163406/

    Check My Profile

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?members/rajat-kumar.201653/

     
    Last edited: May 18, 2018 at 7:01 AM
  2. John DK

    John DK Fapstronaut

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    Congrts bhaii....Great story....Also a lot of information.....How porn destroy our life.90 ke pass he h bhaii..Chl sbse pehle mai he wish kroga terekoo 90 days parr;)
     
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  3. Rajat Kumar

    Rajat Kumar Fapstronaut

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    Thanks bhai. Your support has been really great brother. This was my big test and now nothing stops me.
    I am expecting you to be the first one ;)
    Keep up your streak bhai! You are doing amazing :)
     
    Hariom12 and John DK like this.
  4. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    One thing that i discovered and still discover, is that, when you become more and more chaste, the influence of the sex seeking mind totally loses its grip over you. You realize how much sex and the promise of it can be allienating to the mind. It's hard to explain but there is the conscious and unconscious part of sex, and both lose grip over you. Most people are unconsciously obsessed and concerned by sex, and they live their life according to that unconscious goal, get all excited each time a pleasant member of the opposite sex goes next to them. I haven't add sex for years and i totally don't miss it. I feel it is alienating.
     
  5. Scriabinist

    Scriabinist Fapstronaut

    Amazing bro, I really can relate to the paid sex/escort situation and it is what most triggers me. Very insipirational story as I am trying to fight this demon aswell.

    Thank you very much, the part where you mention that "man goes out to fuck but in the end he is the one being fucked" is pretty real. That feeling post ejaculation of dissapointment is always there.

    There's also a feeling of one's pride, to resist it all means to show to this messed up industry that it can't make men slaves to them.
    Great story, fridays are the worst for me and having read it just today, on a friday, will sure help me stay on the track!
     
  6. Hariom12

    Hariom12 Fapstronaut

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    Great story bhai. I think there will be a tough competition between John and me on who wish you first on your 90th day. Haha
     
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  7. Rajat Kumar

    Rajat Kumar Fapstronaut

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    Very rightly said brother. I can feel the same thing. I am hopeful that longer I go without sex, the more I would become aware of the parts that you are talking about.
    The greatest thing I understood is the fact that the sex merely doesn't happen at physical level; it has spiritual aspect too.

    I am sure that I can reach that stage too.

    Thanks for your beautiful words mate. I could totally relate to them. Hope you are doing great and improving yourself at every level. All the best. Would surely love talking to you more about this ;)
     
    Vedas_fr likes this.
  8. Rajat Kumar

    Rajat Kumar Fapstronaut

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    I am glad you could relate to this. This is what used to happen to me when I used to get involved in these things.

    I am glad that I could help you out. Hope you won't ever have to sell your energy, soul and time for that 5 sec itch. We are much more better than that!

    All the best brother. Hope you do sincere rebooting and get all you aspire for. A week would be done sooner. This life is worth fighting for ;)
     
  9. Rajat Kumar

    Rajat Kumar Fapstronaut

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    Haha I am so glad to meet you amazing bros like you. I hope it's you ;)
    You are doing great too bhai. Great streak. I hope you get all you aspire for and walk on the path of this amazing life :)
     
    Hariom12 and Hank Pym like this.
  10. Praveen Mini Narayan

    Praveen Mini Narayan Fapstronaut

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    Excellent! Valuable words. Thanks for this precious emerald! Keep going. You will definitely get to the top. Good luck.
     
    Rajat Kumar likes this.
  11. Hank Pym

    Hank Pym Fapstronaut

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    Really sorry for that teen girl, we can't even blame her, she couldn't even had chance for education and parents like us. She did this for living. I hope modi stop all this. Really thank you for taking you time and writing all your story. You are doing best for all of us.
     
    Rajat Kumar likes this.
  12. Chappo030891

    Chappo030891 Fapstronaut

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    Dude...whats up with all the crap...like 80% of your post is what I would read on filthy forums. And why are you begging for likes? Jesus Christ!
     
  13. Rajat Kumar

    Rajat Kumar Fapstronaut

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    It's fine brother. Not everything would relate to you. I am hoping that you would find other stories that would relate to you. Thanks for dropping your opinion.
    I hope you are doing good and keeping up with your streak. 50 reaching very sooner. All the best mate :)

    I didn't beg mate. I think you can read it again. " I would be glad if you hit the like before leaving." ( you can make me feel a little happy if you wish to because I really had to spend time to write this totally. No compulsion. No begging mate)
     
  14. Atrium_Guy

    Atrium_Guy Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing - and I think there's is opportunity for even deeper healing as we understand the plight of these women - these sex workers - who are in far worse situations than most of us can imagine. It is truly heartbreaking to hear a young girl like this seeing 30+ men a day...to hear her words that 'she doesn't even belong in hell' for that she's doing.

    While we are in pain, and striving hard to make a difference and become better men - lets' remember all those people our actions affect. Lets remember there is a massive problem in the world on the other side of P and S addictions - the people who are forced into brutal life situations just so they can satisfy OUR 5 second glory. Well, I say F that - and feeling more motivated then ever to reach my goals here.

    Thanks for sharing....
     
    Rajat Kumar likes this.
  15. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    That was an amazing work buddy @Rajat Kumar
    With lots of information! Keep up the good work and you will achieve the life you are longing for.

    That wasn't the most polite and helpful reaction, no?
    And please, use the name of Jesus with some respect.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2018 at 1:38 PM
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  16. Hariom12

    Hariom12 Fapstronaut

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    Kya baat hai waah ji
     
    Rajat Kumar likes this.
  17. rs2205

    rs2205 Fapstronaut

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  18. sumersingh

    sumersingh Fapstronaut

    rajat bhai app bhi bahut buri zindagi se nikle ho yaar par meko bahut khushi hai app isse nikal liye and congrats 90 days pure karne ko ladki ki kahani bhi touching thi yaar aur mai bhi free lencher hu zindagi me sab acha chal raha hai mood swing hota hai udaas rehti hai bina wajah par haar nahi manunga ab roz likhunga
     
    Rajat Kumar likes this.
  19. loveisgrand

    loveisgrand Fapstronaut

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    Within every Ravana, there lies the potential of being a Rama! :)
     
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  20. Rajat Kumar

    Rajat Kumar Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your beautiful words brother. I hope you are doing good and working to become a better man. I would love reading your story too. All the best :)
     
    Praveen Mini Narayan likes this.

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