Day 70 - you gotta keep going. No matter what

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by Livispacerocket88, Dec 3, 2018.

  1. The Winner

    The Winner Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations on your 40days achievement man ! I'm sure it feels good to reach this streak and to start seeing the improvements in your life.

    Enjoy watching your favorite movies but watch out for some movies that may have triggers in it.
     
    Livispacerocket88 likes this.
  2. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    Porn takes life out of us and we enjoy everything less! including the presence of ourselves...
    Stay strong anyway. Remember that you didn't miss anything by quitting porn, that it was boring and that you will be free from urges in the future. I am on my 63th day without porn and the urges are almost totally gone.

    Life is worth living!
     
  3. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    I am very selective with movies. And I prefer the historical ones. Given that you are a woman, you can watch some romance movies. They are very constructive. Romantic comedies are also nice.

    I wish you good luck!
     
  4. Prov2416

    Prov2416 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah,

    I would be careful with movies as well. It is very easy to have triggering stuff in modern movies.

    Especially alot of the R or mature stuff. Be careful.

    But also it is great to hear about your streak.
     
    Livispacerocket88 likes this.
  5. Lively gr of yesterday

    Lively gr of yesterday Fapstronaut

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    try
    complete cinderella stories series
    13 going 30
    bring it on series
    she's the man (could be a bit triggering)
    bend it like beckham
    what a girl wants
    sydney white
    if you like romcoms or chicklits
     
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  6. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 43
    And the week starts again! I'm back on top form again. The last two days have been rough, I gotta say. I don't know why but towards the end of last week, I got really disoriented and low. Not quite depression, but I just didn't want to focus on anything. My energy was really low for no reason. It could well be my body and brain flushing out the last of this addiction. And again, I found it really difficult to sleep. But I made it! I managed to plan my week on google calendar, which is an achievement. Third week in a row. Usually I'm so disorganized.

    Anyway, have a brilliant week.
     
    The Winner likes this.
  7. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 44

    I'm drawing again, I haven't put pen to paper since last October. This is big for me. Not even a new desk could pull me out of the funk I had with not drawing. It might not seem like a big deal, but I used to use pmo as a way of avoiding working on my talents. As soon as I made proper progress, I'd self sabotage myself. Not good.
    Hopefully, I can expand my skills and start getting out there to promote myself and my work.
    Hope you all have a lovely week.
     
    The Winner likes this.
  8. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 45
    Not particularly feeling great today, but I'm going to get through it.
     
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  9. sparkz

    sparkz Fapstronaut

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    Hey, you're doing really great. Looking back through your journal, seems like you've come a long way. There will be down periods (I think that's life) but see if you can get through them without falling back on bad habits. You'll come out stronger.
     
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  10. Prov2416

    Prov2416 Fapstronaut

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    You are doing great. Much better than me.

    I was almost at 30 days, but got triggered by some dating videos on Youtube. The videos were cool, and not suggestive....but I didn't realize that I was starting to use those as a P-sub of sorts.

    Anyway, I went on a mini MO bender (no P still which is huge for me), and have now realized I need to move those videos off.

    Why am I writing this....... to remind you that there is no such thing as doing it once and then QUICKLY starting up again. I now have the chase effect, and having to reign myself back in......

    Your post though has given me renewed vigor to get back at it..... So believe it or not you have encouraged me.

    Thanks for that and continue your success.
     
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  11. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 63 - Downhill from here, sorta.
    Hey everyone, it's been a while. I dropped off posting daily here as I had a low moment from day 50 and onwards.
    I'll try my best to fill you all in.
    ---------
    Day 50 - 53
    The ultimate high was reached from nofap. I'm not exactly a very talkative person but from day 50 through to 53, I became extremely extroverted. Talking became easy to me, even with strangers! Now I work in food so I have to be somewhat talkative. But this was different. I didn't have to stop and overthink on what to say. It just 'flowed'. The first time in ages that I wasn't worried about being awkward. Sadly, this phase disappeared at day 53. It was lovely while it lasted, it gave me confidence to keep maintaining my streak.
    ----
    Day 54 - Day 60 [Low mood and noteable shift ]
    Once I came out of my extroverted shift and back down to my normal levels of introvert controversy (that sounded way better in my head!), I became hyper aware of EVERYTHING. What I mean when I say everything is 'my life decisions' up until this point. I come out of university to end up even more unsure of pursuing art and settling for a fast food job, that drains me of my energy. I became aware of my body in response to my work environment, I was going loopy from not getting enough natural daylight in the week. So I'm taking high amounts of vitamin d to remedy it, until I can find another job.

    Also, I became dependant on tarot readings through december while I was going through my breakup and it was just making my overthinking worse. So I quit it, I just reached my first milestone of a week.

    I became hungrier all of a sudden, and ate a lot more. I'm a naturally slim women who became slightly underweight for her height, mid 2017. I gained two pounds and I feel better. I'd like to get back to 127 lbs. Fingers crossed.

    What I'm trying to say by explaining all this to you is: getting rid of porn and masturbation is no miracle cure. But the stuff you've been putting off mentally or ignoring with daily dopamine rushes, slaps you in the face hard. And soon it's not even about nofap, it's about who you are going to be after addiction. How are you going to carve out old parts of yourself to make new ones? Can you let go of the old associated with the need of the addiction in the first place?

    Your perspective, altered. Obstacles? Still there.
    -------
    Back to Day 63 - Identity Crisis

    So back to the present day and now I'm facing a completely new obstacle. I'm trying to figure out who I am without anyone's input for the first time. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. I've been stuck in a time warp for years. I focused so much on education, I never allowed myself to experiment or have fun. Being with my ex for those ten months allowed me to be different, to get immersed in a passionate person's world. But I was still not doing it for myself, I was doing it for him. I had people pleaser peepers on. All the wrong reasons. And I ended up not knowing how to keep evolving for myself after it ended.
    And now it's been four months, I'm still constantly overthinking. I want to get out of my head and find myself. Love myself. But I don't know how. I'm having an identity crisis and I'm going to try and face it. Not run away this time.
    My next goal for nofap is 90 days. Hopefully I will make it. I feel no urges and no wet dreams. I may be going downhill, but there's still a lot to face.

    Lastly, I wanted to say thank you for all the support I have received on nofap. It means a lot to me and helped me through tough times. As always, good luck on your journeys.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  12. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Hey, thank you! Means a lot. I'm really glad you enjoyed reading my journal! Hope your doing well, you can get through this!!
     
    The Winner likes this.
  13. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Hey, I know this reply is well overdue. But I hope your still hanging in there! This sounds cheesy but your words really touched me. I'm glad that my words inspired you, it took me by surprise honestly! Still, keep posting and keep writing. Your so close to reaching your goal, so don't give up now. Go for it!
     
  14. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 68
    I just woke up from a wet dream, in where I was forced to view adult content. That made me extremely uncomfortable. But it was weird because even with being forced to view it, I felt no need to m******** in my dream. Not once. Anyway I woke up with such relief it was just a dream. I'm so close to 70 days now.
    Also, I got a work trial for a possible new job today! Wish me luck. It's a crepe place, I've never made crepes in my life but it's exciting.
     
  15. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 70 - Saying No feels good.

    I had my work trial for a possible brand new job yesterday. It was a good couple of hours in a new environment. I tried my best to keep up with everyone. At the end I got offered the job on the spot!

    Now a year ago, I would have gave into pressure from another person and made a decision instantly. Even though I'm an overthinker. But this time I had self worth and I had strength to say I wanted some time to think about it.
    After a couple of hours, I realized taking a paycut for the same pay but less hours...Didn't fit me. I didn't give into my people-pleasing side. I recognised I'm worth more. And what I really want is more pay. I'm skilled enough in a food environment. I deserve better. I can go for better.

    Without quitting pmo, my anxiety and worthlessness would have been overwhelming. I would have given in and accepted right on the spot because I wanted them to not get angry at me. To seem disappointed. I feared the rejection. Now I don't give a fuck!
    And it feels freeing.
    Saying no is so liberating !!
     
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