Day 70 - you gotta keep going. No matter what

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by Livispacerocket88, Dec 3, 2018.

  1. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 30
    New year's eve was all the more special, knowing that I reached this goal of mine. I feel stronger than I've ever been!!! I start the new year with inner strength and purpose. I get to carve my own path out, I love it.
     
    Robbiebob likes this.
  2. Lovable king

    Lovable king Fapstronaut

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    I am also on day 2 ... Are you join with me a challenge... who will relapse last... that person will win .
     
  3. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 31
    Things are looking up. I've started to plan my week in advance, something I've never done before. I want to pursue art again, run my own business off my talents. I'm tired of my food service job, it doesn't allign with what I want.
    I'm still taking this one day at a time, it's really helping me. Nofap is a journey not a sprint. Everytime I reach another day without pmo I feel a little bit stronger. And that's what kept me going. My next goal is 40 days. I've seen a lot of people say their going to do nofap for the entire year. It's just unrealistic. Everybody would love to reach that milestone, but sometimes we fail. It's natural, it's part of the process. No one know what is going to happen to them in the space of a year. You might lose a loved one, anything could happen.

    Taking things one day at a time will be a lot easier to maintain. It gives us less space to be rigid to ourselves. Small steps are better than running at full speed towards your goal.
    Stil, I hope everyone reaches their nofap goals this year! I wish you all the luck.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2019
  4. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    Reading your posts I realize why women get attracted to porn although it mostly targets males.... It's a question of loneliness, shyness, repressed feelings, the so called "freedom" promoted by society.
    At the same time, we live in a culture, where sex is very encouraged from an early age and there is even a shame put on those who cannot or who don't want to have it.

    I started to hate my European culture and it's so called "freedom". Nothing is really free in life. This freedom comes to heavy price. Nobody gives those free porn videos to us to entertain us. They give them to us so we might get addicted and they start getting money from us.

    It's so awful that porn is at a click distance... And I say that as a male who has managed to remove porn from his life in the last 54 days or so.
     
    Livispacerocket88 likes this.
  5. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 32
    My sleeping has been all over the place. Not feeling very good, but no pmo urges. That's all I've got to report today. See you all later
     
  6. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 33
    Still found it difficult to sleep, I'm figuring out that this is down to my constant phone use. So I'm going to only use my phone 3 hours before bed. And only an hour after I've woken up.
    I came close to temptation because of how difficult I've been finding it to sleep recently. Hopefully I can avoid insomnia, no worse past time! Hope you are all doing well.
     
  7. bobross

    bobross Fapstronaut

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    One of the possible withdrawal symptoms is insomnia. What I did during that period of time was to make sure every evening that electronics are out of reach, then do my best on just staying in bed. I picked up meditation during that time, just simple focus exercises to control the flow of thought. That combination helped me get through until the symptom went away. If it is any help, this happened to me around days 27 to 40 (give or take) of my first 2 proper streaks.
     
    Livispacerocket88 and DarkClaw89 like this.
  8. bobross

    bobross Fapstronaut

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    Every now and then there are 'checkpoints', where you will feel horrible, and the cravings more powerful than ever. Weather the storm for the few days it lasts and things will be wonderful until the next so called checkpoint. Every streak I had, things happened with almost clockwork precision.
     
  9. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 37
    Hey, been a while since I posted. I'm currently attempting to chase my dreams and be very organized while I'm doing it. And it's going well, I'm getting to spend time on my art and researching starting my own business.
    I have a lot more energy nowadays, it's weird. After I finish a task, I just want to keep going. Before I would tire out from the smallest thing. It feels good. It feels like I can achieve anything, not having to constantly masturbate throughout the day.
    Also yesterday, I got round to watching a film I've always wanted to see! Satoshi Kon's Perfect Blue. Brilliant film by the way, the end is really jarring. Anyway, the film did have some nudity, and it didn't trigger me at all. If anything, it made me feel sorry for the main character. She went through some harrowing stuff in the film.
    My point is, while I was in the grips of my addiction, I was looking at hardcore stuff. Stuff that made me feel ashamed, and it was similar to stuff portrayed in the film. The implied rape scenes. I realized yesterday just how far I've come and how messed up porn is.

    Also, I'm extremely glad to find out tumblr has gotten rid of adult content. I used to use tumblr a lot for that. I felt good deleting all my old accounts on Day 35.

    I'm only three days away from making it to forty days! Keep strong all of you, don't let your demons and fears dim your light.
     
  10. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Hey there! Thank you so much for the advice! I kept my electronic use down to minimum before and after sleep. On day 37, my sleep is returning to normal. I can finally pursue better things! Thank u x
     
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  11. bobross

    bobross Fapstronaut

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    My insomnia has started a few days ago, wish me luck :D
     
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  12. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    I wish you a plethora ship-load of luck!!! Try and tire yourself out a bit more throughout the day. See if it helps!
     
  13. bobross

    bobross Fapstronaut

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    Aye , aye skipper! You too ;)
     
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  14. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Wow, thank you for the response. Reading this continues to give me more insight and your not wrong. Porn is way too easy to get a hold of. And way too free to consumed by the masses. Maybe they just want to keep us unaware of how good we could all have it. It did feel like I was brainwashing myself when I was looking at porn constantly. I'm really curious to know what 50 days looks lile for you? Do you still get triggered?
     
  15. bobross

    bobross Fapstronaut

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    Once you opened the door, it stays open. It's the sad, ugly truth. Things can still trigger you if you are not careful, but things become manageable. I reached 75 days before my last relapse, after dropping my guard and getting hit by the worst cravings of my life. But as your brain starts to fix itself, things become better. You will have more energy, you will enjoy things again. And all those serve to further ease things. You won't be triggered so easily, or as hard, but you still need to be careful. You will be genuinely happy though, which makes the struggle really worth it :)
     
  16. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    No, I don't get triggered anymore and 2 months have passed since I quit porn. The only thing that could get me triggered would be my depression and my life situation after messing up my brain with so much porn.
    Don't listen to those who tell you that you cannot ever get really free. You can.
    Yes, porn is too freely available. And yes, life is cruel. So, those who give us porn for free, don't do it because they are nice, they have a hidden reason.
     
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  17. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    Lol, today when I took an exam at university, I wasn't triggered by any girl colleagues of mine. That was unusual.
     
  18. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 38
    Two days away from the big 40. Feeling good. Right now I'm just looking to change everything in my life. :)
    Plus, I feel more upbeat and I have more cheesy humour. It's all good. See you all around
     
  19. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 39
    Hey there, today has been kinda tough. Not for pmo or anything like that. On the 1st october I decided after a horrible breakup and losing all my friends, I would remain single for one year. Stop chasing people, stop feeling alone. Feel alive and love myself.
    Well today marks 100 days since I took that pledge.
    I couldn't quite believe it's already been that long. 2018 really slapped me in the face when it came to all my relationships. I kept wanting to see the good in people, even when their intentions were selfish. I stayed in an unhappy relationship because I thought I could be everything to him. I'd be able to fix him.
    Well I stopped being the people pleaser, the mediator, the listener, the advisor. I left all that behind and said fuck it. Fuck everyone. I was bitter and angry, then upset and miserable. But I know I had to and have to go through this.
    Now...I see things differently. I realise I have so much more to experience. I'm finally comfortable with my own company for the first time in my adult life. My whole life. And I wouldn't have reached it if my friends hadn't of left me. Or if my relationship didn't fall apart without warning. I used to think some things for me never seemed to fucking work, no matter how honest I was. Or giving. Now, I see those people were in my life so I could finally recognise my self-worth. So I could start my own journey. I'm on my way now, finally.

    Beginnings happen at broken ends. I'm glad I had so many ends so I can build a new beginning of my own.

    Also, don't give up on yourself. Ever. And don't diminish your kindness and strength for anyone.
     
  20. Livispacerocket88

    Livispacerocket88 Fapstronaut

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    Day 40
    I made my goal of 40 days!!! It feels good of course. Has anything changed? I sleep a lot more, I can complete tasks quicker. I'm a lot more focused on anything I put my mind to. I was able to read 30 pages of a book and not lose my attention span!! I used to be able to read 100 to 200 pages a day. I can't wait to be back at full optimization again.
    And it's finally happened: I got bored of Youtube. I was using it to distract me from fapping every early on in my journey. Now I see Youtube has a lot of trash I don't need to watch. So I'm giving it a break so I can focus on more important, fun things.

    I'd like to watch a lot more movies. There's a lot I haven't experienced in general. I'm going to watch eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Any film reccomendations? I'd be glad to add them to my list.

    My next goal is 50 days. Wish me luck! And I wish everyone else luck on their journeys and goals!
     
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