Day 14 - Intention

Hello people. I'm two weeks in, so I wrote a post in my journal thinking about the fight against PMO. I had a few insights, so I'm posting that journal entry here.



Day 14. I did it, I took my 2-week break from PMO, thwarting all urges and filling the gaps with other things. I feel as far away from porn as I have ever been - I still feel urges, but sitting in my chair staring at the screen and doing it feels like such a foreign act to me now.

So, two weeks in, and my decision is that this break from porn could be longer. These two weeks have shown me that I still have what it takes to go the distance, as long as I put myself to it. I know I can go above and beyond, and go even longer without porn than before. So every time I think of PMO'ing, there's a question of, "You're already this far in, and you know you can go so much further, but you'll give it up for a moment of pleasure followed by days of regret?" I need to remember, each time that I have an urge, that PMO won't solve my problems and isn't some unrivaled incredible pleasure - it's just a self-defeating explosion that brings me back down to a place of instant regret.

Remembering these things, is there any streak you can't achieve? When you have an urge, don't let thoughts of PMO flood your brain, but counter those thoughts with thoughts of the reality of PMO. That 1) it isn't some superior pleasure, 2) it's a lot of regret for a short while of pleasure and 3) you can go so far if you don't let this one break you.

I know I can go the distance, but I haven't gone there yet, so why not do it now? Who's to stop me? Only myself. So if I can make sure I don't stop myself, I can do it. Why would I bring such large consequence upon myself, with fleeting reward?

Right now I'm going for 28-days - getting through January without PMO. But I know I can go 90 days and more, if I put myself to it. 31st January is just a checkpoint.



So there's my thoughts two weeks in. Time to go further.