Day 10...

Its officially been 10 days since I gave up porn...its also been nearly 1 month since my last no strings attached sexual encounter. It took nearly a decade for me to realize that I was a sex addict. It all began when i was living in Germany and I would frequent red light districts because of the rush it gave me. Eventually I realized I had spent thousands of dollars with nothing to show for it except loneliness. After a very bad break up with the women I thought was the one i gave in to all of my temptations. I returned to the US and I began meeting women in bars and online. I was only in it for sex and wanted no attachment at all. I would even make excuses for why I did not want them to stay the night at my house. Pornograohy would always be my back up for when I couldn't find one of the numerous women i had in my phone to come over for sex. I would masterbate 2-3 times every day, even if I got laid. I've had horrible anxiety for years and doctors would always say it would go away eventually, and I always kept my sexual life a secret. June 27th i finally told my doctor the secret i had been hiding for years and we came up with a recovery plan which involved first getting a new phone, new number, and blocking porn from my browser. That was 10 days ago and it's been a rollercoaster of emotion every day. Yesterday I felt good for the most part and today I am absolutely miserable with anxiety. I knew this was coming and I took up hiking again last week to keep me busy, which is helping a lot in my opinion. I figured the first 2 weeks would be the worst so I'm almost through that. I get horrible anxiety when I even think about sex so at least that is keeping me from masterbating or looking for a one night stand. I've also been having weird sexually taboo dreams which I've never had before. I've even noticed an odd sensation in my groin area. Hopefully it's just part of withdrawl. I'm in this for the long haul, so hopefully these symptoms get better in time. I know it will be 100% worth it in the long run.