daughter of a narcisstic mother

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by here to quit, Nov 16, 2018.

  1. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    hi yáll.. i just wanted to let you know that im a sufferer of narcistic mother who has controlled me for over 25 years and have made me feel so helpless that my only way of getting out of that stress was this porn and masturbation...but it has effected me so badly like my confidence and hardworking abilities. and i want all that back. so it will be an honor to know if someone here suffers from the same thing. because narcs can really drive you crazy...above all i belong to a strict household and i really cant leave other than getting married for which i think im not ready yet. so what do you guys suggest i should do?
     
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  2. Rambling Man

    Rambling Man Fapstronaut

    If I may ask, what would happen if you got yourself a job and moved out?
     
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  3. FlyingPizza

    FlyingPizza Fapstronaut

    I would like to know, as well. I understand it's difficult to fathom contradicting your parents, but they cannot legally hold you there. It is also wrong to do so if your mother is harming your ability to function as an adult.

    I'm not saying you should go and do it. I just want you to consider that maybe your options are not as narrow as you think.
     
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  4. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    Your profile says you're 24, but you've been controlled for 25 years? Please clarify.

    What is your school/work status? Certainly, marriage isn't the answer to this dilemma. Can you give some specifics as to some of the things your "...narcistic mother..." does that so badly affects you?
     
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  5. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    My birthday’s around the corner that’s why I said 25. And I’m final year pharmacist student.
     
  6. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    I’m a full time, final year pharmacy student and my final exams are around the corner. Hence I can’t have a job right now.
     
  7. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    That is frickin' awesome. So you're a drug dealer! LOL! Can ya hold out for another year? I know that's probably what you didn't want to hear. But if you can hold out for just another year, you'll be in a financial position to move out and live comfortably.
     
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  8. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    Yeah you’re right. But I’ve one more year to be with them and then I can leave. Because my studies will be over then.
     
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  9. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    Yeah that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. Like I’ll try my best for another year till I can be done with my exam and move out. Thanks
     
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  10. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    @FlyingPizza has made her way through this and has an awesome outlook on scheduling your time. You could schedule your time such that you're just too busy to give her any thought.
     
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  11. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    Yeah to be honest this is one of my strategies to stay away from her.. but then she also uses this to guilt trip me like ‘you don’t like me anymore’ ‘you hate me’ so that I’ll feel sorry for her like I’m treating her wrong and would go back to my old submissive ways so that she could have me under her wings again
     
  12. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    But you don't. And for very valid reasons. It doesn't mean that you don't love her though. That's a form of Gaslighting. If she's looking for a pity party, let her go it alone. It could be she is just scared to death that when she loses you, she'll be so lonely. But that's rather selfish.
     
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  13. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    Yeah that’s exactly her psyche. But sometimes I feel it’s unfair that I had to loose such a beautiful part of my life to this trauma
     
  14. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it is incredibly unfair. Unfortunately life seldom is fair.
     
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  15. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    Lol yeah you’re right. Thanks though. Conversation with you helps alot
     
  16. FlyingPizza

    FlyingPizza Fapstronaut

    For now, the goal is to limit the amount of control your mother has over you, as hard as that is. Having a full schedule would certainly help. How much free time do you have per week? If you have 5 hours or more, consider starting a side gig. You could babysit, walk dogs, mow lawns, clean someone's house... 75 bucks per week will leave you with almost 4000 dollars in your pocket a year from now, which might be enough to move out as soon as you finish your studies and find a job.
     
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  17. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    yeah you re right...thank you so much for this suggestion. i will do something like this soon :)
     
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  18. Max Dudent

    Max Dudent Fapstronaut

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    I have used porn as a way to relieve my stresses. I think for you it will be important to find another venue to release stress like exercise. Try that out.
     
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  19. GhostWriter

    GhostWriter Fapstronaut

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    Well sad.
     
  20. here to quit

    here to quit Fapstronaut

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    yeah i do now.thanks
     
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