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[Dating Advice] Asking out an employee..

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Caveat Emptor, Jul 21, 2015.

  1. Caveat Emptor

    Caveat Emptor Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Not a co-worker... An employee, being asked out by a customer. Like a customer asking out a bartender or a barista.

    What are your thoughts?

    Like, there's a natural ice breaker, and if they're not too busy, they're easy to talk too, but they're also likely paid to be friendly and bubbly.

    So, is there a right way to this?

    I'm particularly interested in what women have to say.
     
    Kenji likes this.
  2. cryptifly

    cryptifly Fapstronaut

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    No there isn't a right way. However, being tight-lipped and shy won't win any guy any points. This is so cliche but so true... be yourself. Don't try to be someone else you think she'll like. She'll notice that. I've had a lot of luck drawing women in just by accessing my curiosity about them and just asking them about those things I'm curious about. If you can access your curiosity and stay connected to it during the conversation, you'll never run out of things to say. And an added bonus of being able to access this is that it comes across as really confident and also shows her that you're really interested in her. At some point then you can just ask her out.
     
  3. SkyDoge

    SkyDoge Fapstronaut

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    My girlfriend is a waitress and gets unwanted attention sometimes. Less so since she started wearing a ring. You can assume that most of the time an employee is not at her job to find a boyfriend. You can also assume that this happens to her multiple times every damn day. Any job that is based on tips or commission you can be sure she'll act more interested in you than she really is. That's part of the job.

    I think the best way is to smile and be polite, then leave a phone number. The woman can either call or not call you, after her shift. Do not bother her while she is working unless it's extremely obvious that she's checking you out.
     
    Caveat Emptor likes this.
  4. Hero One

    Hero One Fapstronaut

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    I agree with SkyDoge here.

    Remember that her working environment is not a social setting for her. She's probably got a lot on, and having to deal with your advances might just be another annoyance on her plate. This is also coupled, as you've pointed out, with the fact that the person you're interested in is paid to be likeable - which can confuse the matter.

    I'm not saying she's not interested in you, but with the stresses of work on her mind, you might want to rethink your timing. If it's a 'when she's working or not at all' situation, and you have an opportunity for a little small talk, then similar to what SkyDoge suggested; be clear you're interested, ask if you can call her sometime.

    I'd still suggest trying outside of work though, if you can. I don't know the situation.

    All the best.
     
    Caveat Emptor likes this.
  5. Caveat Emptor

    Caveat Emptor Distinguished Fapstronaut

    I'm don't have a particular situation in mind.
    It's just my for my own curiosity and for future reference.

    I like the leave a phone number idea. She can do what she wants with it and it doesn't necessarily interrupt her work.
     
    Hero One likes this.
  6. Hero One

    Hero One Fapstronaut

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    Good shout. I wish you luck in any future barmaid, waitress, barista, receptionist, doctor, nurse, air-con repair woman, etc, endeavours.
     
    Caveat Emptor likes this.
  7. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Never tried leaving a girl my phone number without any comment, but I once was with a guy who did it and it worked - well, at least he got an SMS from her later that day. Don't know how it turned out.
     
    Caveat Emptor likes this.
  8. Kiddy

    Kiddy Fapstronaut

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    In a business setting, the situation is often unbalanced, and the customer often has the upper hand. There are some cases, such as a doctor-patient relationship, where the worker has the upper hand. If you have the upper hand in any relationship, it makes it a lot easier to unintentionally offend the other person. Expressing your romantic interests could make the worker's job very awkward, whether she likes you or not. I would time your approach so that it is not at a time when she is serving you directly. Having said that, I have heard of many couples who first met in a customer-worker setting.
     
    Caveat Emptor likes this.
  9. frankied

    frankied Fapstronaut

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    Being yourself, stating your interest and ask for her phonenumber, if she doesn't want to give her number, it's all good, if she does, you could have a potential date :)

    You can also leave your number if you like or if she is a bit uncomfortable about it
     
  10. herby4321

    herby4321 Fapstronaut

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    Don't do it
    Inevitably someone has to quit their job if things don't work out
    I'd reframe it, if she likes you she'll let you know, otherwise meet women other places. Match.com etc
     

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