Date advice

I'm not sure anyone can accurately predict what she would find weird or not, because we arent her. Some people are totally fine with that and since aren't, so I'm not really sure how to tell you what to do. You just gotta go with your gut, I guess.

 

You won't know if it's weird or not for her until you try. You won't know if she's interested or not until you try.

What you do know is that you want to see her again and you want to get to know her better. That's your truth. It's what you want to express. That's how you meet her half way and allowing her the opportunity to choose. By taking a risk. By allowing the potential for both positive and negative experiences.

Whether you ask her out right away or later on is a risk. If you do it later on, maybe you won't see her again. So it's up to you what risk you're willing to take.

Do you feel it's weird? Weird to have the desire to get to know another person and see her more? Weird to invite her to an activity that allows you to do that? Weird to express your desires? To express your truth? It's not weird. It's nothing to be ashamed of. The only thing you're worried about is how she'll react. That's not something you can control. All you can do is meet her halfway by taking that risk.

My advice is follow your truth. Don't be ashamed of letting her know that you'd like to get to know her better. Hiding that truth while trying to secretly maneuver your way to that goal is my personal concept of "the friend zone". If you weren't interested in something more and you didn't have hidden intentions, then you would just be friends with her. If you're interested in her, then act like it. That's how you avoid being in the friend zone (not dating and not really friends). By living your truth.

 

You have nothing to lose. DO IT ! 'Fortune favours the brave'

 

I'm a girl, in case you cant tell. Most people assume I'm a guy and my profile doesnt say one way or the other. And I would say I agree with elevate.

I would also say to work on embracing the fact that rejection doesnt have to be taken personally. There are tons of reasons a girl might not want to go out, and not all of them even have anything to do with you. And if she doesnt want to go out because shes not interested in you or attracted to you, that's okay, too. Even the most attractive, smart, funny, amazing people get rejected sometimes. You might be "the one" for someone, but you are definitely not "the one" for everyone. And that's alright. You dont need everybody to like you or want to date you. People have different preferences, and some of them won't match up with what you have to offer, but that doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you.

 

Yes, I think it's safe to say most girls appreciate that. Whether or not she will say yes to the date is impossible to say, but it's good to be clear about your intentions, not just in asking for a date, even, but also moving forward. Like being clear on whether or not you are looking for something casual or more serious. Personally, I believe in getting those things out in the table soon, so you dont waste your time connecting with someone who is looking for something completely different than you thought.

 

Some girls dont like that, but I say in this day and age, its perfectly appropriate, and it might also give her more time to process and respond and not feel put on the spot.

 

Although that might also depend on how old you are, I guess, but I'm guessing you're relatively young, so it should be fine. If youre like a 30 year old man, then, well... probably best to at least call.

 

My old recording teacher randomly asked out a girl at his university that he only saw extremely briefly twice a week. They had back-to-back classes, so as she was coming out of the classroom, he was going in. After a few days of building up the courage, he greeted her as she was leaving, introduced himself, and asked her out.

Fast forward 11 years later, he's married to and started a music teaching business with that same girl and they've had three daughters together. Hell, they recently bought a new place. I helped them move in.

The point is, you never know until you try, man. If you don't ask, the answer will always be no.

 

Just to expand on what you said with more details from my story:

The girl actually did reject my teacher initially as she was extremely busy and didn't have time to date. But he kept in contact with her, would always compliment her appearance and finally, when she was ready to date, she walked up to him, sat down, and they started a conversation and eventually set up a dinner date at a Mexican place.

So the initial rejection, as far as I know, didn't have anything to do with him. She was just busy.

 

Failure is why you will succeed ~ Michael Jordan