curing PIED: What timeline can I expect, based on my circumstances?

"5+ times in the last few months". Are you aiming for casual sex or a long term relationship?

 

Hi,
If you don't watch porn and only find it difficult to get an erection with a girl but not alone, then maybe you're luckier than you think and it's "only" a matter of performance anxiety.
I would suggest that you stop masturbating every day, and especially a few days before meeting that girl. Also, do you feel comfortable and relaxed with her? Maybe get to know her better so you are less anxious before sex.

 

In my opinion, the most desirable person is not the sexiest, rather the person that you can laugh and talk the most with, and feel passion. The ease of laughter and talking with get you through so much more than just sexual attractiveness. To find the joy of laughter and talking with someone, I find it inefficient to start with sex in a relationship. That took me decades to figure out. Be wiser than me!

 

As a young man, I made the mistake of having sex with too many female friends, and lost their friendships. I learned eventually, that some flirting, dancing, friendship with laughter, etc. were a better "mutual benefits" than sex. Also, I could still be friends with those women when I found my LTR. An LTR who is comfortable in her own skin will be happy to have your female friends around that you did not have sex with. Life is about connection, and it takes time to create connection. I like that I have many female friends in my life from over the years, and my fiancé meets them all with time.

 

Sounds like some PIED that is being complicated by performance anxiety. It is my opinion that sex is not a relationship starter. Flirting, dancing, talking, hugging, kissing, and so on, all build a relationship. When sex comes too early in the process, it truncates the growth process. I think PIV should be a natural step, along with commitment. When it is done to bring us even closer, not for me or for them, it works better than when it is done because one of us wants or needs it.
I think that completing your reboot and building a solid relationship will allow you to enjoy healthy sex without the physical or emotional issues that you are fighting now. I have read that there is no fear with complete love.

 

I'm definitely not an expert in these matters, so my post was based only on my impressions. Like HappyDaysAreHereAgain suggests, maybe wait with the PIV part and focus on the rest of what he wrote (kissing, hugging etc.) until you feel completely comfortable with her.
In the meantime, no PMO can't do any harm and might even make the PIV much better when it happens.

 

You are only five days into NoFap so you can't expect much. Give it at least 90 days of no fapping and no porn. I know you say you don't watch a lot but don't watch at all. Only touch yourself to wash and use the restroom. I suspect you also have death grip. You have trained yourself to O one way to one type of touch and you have to unlearn that. Do not use your hand during sex with women either that prolongs the problem and makes it worse. I recommend you avoid sexual contact and dating during the 90 day reboot. If you try to have sex and it won't work (which is likely going to be the case in reboot) that will cause you more performance anxiety. When you do start dating again after the 90 days take it slow. Look for someone who is looking to be serious. When you do this your anxiety will lessen. Being in a committed relationship often is better because you can express your issues in bed to her and she will be understanding. You need to attempt a non sexual connection first. I know what I'm asking is not easy but it is what you need to do. Be patient with yourself and it will work out. You are young you have a full life of great sex ahead of you I know it just get through this hurdle.