Cunnilingus with my girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Morolto, Apr 3, 2019.

  1. Morolto

    Morolto Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I've been steadily stringing along longer and longer gaps between relapses and am currently on the road to pushing past the month marker (woohoo!). There were some bumps in the road where I thought I would fail but I stayed the course.

    I have a girlfriend of two years. She had vaginismus for most of her life (even up until probably about a year into us dating) due to sexual assault when she was a kid (some neighborhood kids a few years older than her performed cunnilingus on her). She's felt great down there for quite some time now and feels confident her vaginismus is no longer a problem. I used to give her cunnilingus and finger her all the time back when I was relapsing all the time, but I thought it might be wise to stop all sexual stimuli to help in my recovery. My girlfriend is so loving and understanding and agreed that we should limit our intimacy to just kisses.

    However, I know this is hard for my girlfriend. When we were on vacation a few weeks ago I felt my sexual headspace just go completely numb for a few days and my sex drive dropped, so I think I'm in a flat line?

    At my current stage, do you guys think its ok for me to at least give her cunnilingus? Thanks!
     
    HallsPreto likes this.
  2. Morolto

    Morolto Fapstronaut

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    A few more words of context:

    1) My girlfriend has been super understanding throughout the whole process. Even going through the internet to see the research herself and ease my recovery. Never once has she gotten mad at me ever since I told her about my PMO problem.

    2) I want to be able to give her cunnilingus again much more so because it makes us feel emotionally connected to each other, not necessarily because I'm feeling this gigantic wave of pressure to please her and for us to try to have sex again down the road. We tried twice in the middle of our relationship a year ago but she didn't know about my PMO problems back then.

    3) I have consistently been able to get a boner when making out with my girlfriend/getting handjobs, blowjobs, or just having my legs/crotch region caressed. But I top out at 70-80% hard almost every time. And I still feel nervous about staying hard if we try sex
     
  3. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    I think you should be spending as much time between her legs as you possibly can. She is a real woman so its natural as a man to be sexual with her.
    Engaging in real sex might help to establish a new normality in your brain. Eg when you are horny you think of your girlfriends vagina instead of your computer screen. I think thats a good place to be.
     
    Epic Fight likes this.
  4. Sunny321

    Sunny321 Fapstronaut

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    in my relationship with a girl I haven't gone so far
     
  5. Theamos

    Theamos Fapstronaut

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    There might be others reasons your only getting to 70%.
    Could be heath or meds
    Stay away from porn and take care of girl
     

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