1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

"Cuck", "Incel", "Hikikomori"

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by GigglingTrout, Apr 22, 2019.

  1. GigglingTrout

    GigglingTrout Fapstronaut

    I hear all these labels today, and feel like I have different qualities of each.
    I'm just... not a mentally healthy person, in my opinion. I'm having a tough time lately.

    Here's some of my thoughts

    Cuck: I feel like this would be the biggest one for me. The lack of confidence makes me a bit shy, submissive, and weak around women. I'm too eager to please, and it's not attractive quality to the people I'm interested in

    Incel: I've had sex, but I still feel some bitterness. I've been a little angry towards girls that I invested time and effort into, and the relationship didn't work out the way I planned. I don't really vent out at them, but instead I'll vent out at other people or through other means. Typically, I blame myself for whatever went wrong, but I still can be a tad incel-ish.

    Hikikomori: I've really given up on myself being a socially capable person. I'm friendly to people at work and my students, but the thought of having genuine relationships with any of them makes a bit sick to my stomach. The world is a tough place to be in, and I'm always quick to retreat to my apartment and be in my safe zone. I love fantasy games and movies, and just any form of escapism

    Overall, I think that I'm kind of a mess. Even "toxically masculine" in some cases...

    Can you guys chat with me? Help me change my mind about things?
    I feel rather depressed, and I'd love to hear what you have to say. I'll gladly answer any questions you have too.
     
  2. GigglingTrout

    GigglingTrout Fapstronaut

    Am I being ridiculous?

    I think I might be out of my mind.
    I mean, why did I even make this thread? I'm starting to wonder what the point was.

    Can someone tell me I'm not crazy...? :(
     
  3. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I dont think you are crazy, just stuck in your own head, which is a problem way more people have than you might think. I feel like its way too easy to judge yourself way more harshly than you actually deserve and end up with a fatalist attitude that is hard to overcome, I myself struggle with it, which is why I am hesitant to offer any actual advice, as obviously if I knew the way out I wouldn't still have the issue myself.

    Having said that, I'm open to talking to you and at least offering a listening ear. What would you want to talk about?
     
    GigglingTrout likes this.
  4. rob13_

    rob13_ Fapstronaut

    You're not crazy my man. Nobody's crazy in my book if they can form coherent sentences and have complex thoughts. :)

    I hate these labels such as incel or cuck. They're like the new derragatory words that haven't been socially outlawed yet. If you make one criticism of feminism, you get called incel or cuck. It's ridiculous.

    These labels simply keep people in their same negative thought patterns and stop them from digging themselves out of them. Most self proclaimed "incels" are just normal guys with depression or something .

    Don't call yourself by these labels. Instwad, identify the problems you do have and then work to fix them.
     
  5. DaveyCrockett

    DaveyCrockett Fapstronaut

    93
    650
    83
    You should know that I feel the same way as you do right now, and I have been feeling this way for a while.

    I'm not sure what a real solution to this issue would be. Someone told me once that our mind is our own worst enemy, and that things are never as bad as they seem.

    Not sure what other advice to give. I know how you feel, and I am struggling to "get out of my head" more often, too. Our mind lies to us a lot, you know.
     
    GigglingTrout likes this.
  6. Dr. Mario

    Dr. Mario Fapstronaut

    Socialization is like working out. You have to do it, and regularly, to get better and to get "gains"! One of the worst things you can do with these problems is keep isolating yourself. These forums are definitely better than nothing, but there's no substitute for in-person, face-to-face interaction. You gotta make it a point to get out there and interact with people. Once you start getting out of your own head (and house) and start talking to other people, it'll be easy to see that everyone else is struggling just as much as you. That'll take a lot of the bite out of your own self-criticisms. And, it'll build that social confidence needed to wash yourself clean of those other labels.
     
  7. AncestralWarrior

    AncestralWarrior Fapstronaut

    113
    308
    63
    Everyone goes through it, man. I remember 3 years ago, I was a completely different person. A no-good shut-in that was wasting his potential like crazy. And one day, I just woke up and... started. It's time you start too. It doesn't stop at NoFap. Here's a list of things you should start doing:

    • working out
    • developing a new skill
    • getting a new hobby (video games/TV are not hobbies)
    • calling your parents four times a week
    • upping your social media game
    • getting a new haircut
    • meditating
    and the list goes on and on and on.

    You'll see that when you develop as a person, your environemnt develops around you. I can't stress this enough. I just got better, and things got better with me. I trust in you.
     
    GigglingTrout and DaveyCrockett like this.
  8. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

    697
    673
    93
    What's got you being so mean to yourself, calling yourself names?
     
    GigglingTrout likes this.
  9. GigglingTrout

    GigglingTrout Fapstronaut

    Thank you everyone.

    I'm sorry I disappeared, and didn't respond for months. I fell into a bit of depressive state.

    Things are starting to turn around though. I'm using meetup and going to get-togethers, parties, etc.
    Really trying to break outside the comfort zone, and become the person I want to be.
    I know that it's going to take time, but I'm excited to see the changes to come.

    Again, thanks to all of you. I appreciate the encouragement and everything that was said
     
    Tibo87 likes this.

Share This Page