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Crossing the line from immorality to criminality

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by thorswrath32, Apr 21, 2017.

  1. John Lee Smith

    John Lee Smith Fapstronaut

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    Keep your focus on improving your life. Stay strong.
    Porn is common problem in our society. Being part of this oversexualized society is not your fault.
    Goal is to rewire brain.
    You need long time intervals between relapses.
    1month, 2 months, 6months and so on ......
    Keep fighting.
    There is no other way.
     
  2. Scrabble3444

    Scrabble3444 New Fapstronaut

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    Bloody hell. This was my story. The only difference is that I got arrested at 8pm on a Friday evening by four Police Officers! My investigation went on for 5 months but was lucky as i got a No Further Action. Thing is getting arrested was the best thing ever to happen. I had hit rock bottom then and I sought recovery. 12 step SAA meetings, counselling and I quit PMO. Abstaining from all PMO has helped me the most. Also time. The longer I abstain the more distant the memories are of me being a Cocaine, Alcohol, sex fuelled deviant. My addictions were spiralling out of control. The porn getting darker and more illegal, coke and alcohol increasing. Also my eating habits were terrible. I was a ticking bomb.

    I have now been clean of my addictions for 6 months now. I am also in day 45 of NoFap and my diet is better. I now just take cold showers which is something i reccomend as well.

    All my addictions were my hobbies and interests. You have to replace these with healthy ones and keep busy otherwise its easy to relapse.

    If you have a big problem like I did you can still get better but you got to want to do it. Most people hit rock bottom to realise they then have a problem like me. After getting arrested it scared me so much that it put me off drugs alcohol and pmo for life. My new boring healthy life is so much better than my old seedy dirty unhealthy life.
     
    thorswrath32 likes this.
  3. Good for you buddy on being able to sieze the opportunity to get help. I was a ticking bomb too and i can't believe looking back 3 years ago how i behaved but this PMO addiction for many of us creeps up slowly thougout the years of our lives and i think most of us at certain points were in positions where we thought there was nothing wrong because maybe at those points early on there was no illegal stuff being viewed. I think its important for people like us to help others to stop and look at their actions so they can see if it is causing them problems and hopefully prevent them from getting into it as far as we went. That's what keeps me motivated today.

    I think hobbies are so important as well, i had abandonned my passion for writing music and long ago abandonned my ability to make scale models and these days i have got back into making scale model kits and i really enjoy it and the reward of finishing a kit that has taken weeks to make. I think what hobbies can teach the recovering addict is patience and appreciating those rewards that give one a sense of pride which take time and effort. lets face it none of the things we used to do in active addiction took any real effort and we never got any sense of pride or achievement out of those things, but today we can look to things that give a sense of achievement even if it's something as normal as scoring a goal for a local team or hitting that weight lifting target you've set your self for months or painting that Spitfire so it can sit proudly on your display.
     
  4. 75ing

    75ing New Fapstronaut

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    I have a serious problem. I'm not sure how much I should reveal, I am very ashamed, scared, and sick when I think about what I have done. I have tried to get help with my porn addiction. Perhaps I should lay out my road to addiction and what dark corners it led me to.

    I started watching porn at the age of 12, just as I was entering puberty. When I learned to masturbate to porn, I found I could get a rush. However, I noticed that as I got older and began to watch porn more frequently, what had once turned me on no longer would produce the same feelings. I had been bullied in school, and socially isolated myself. I had a lot negative self-esteem and using porn with masturbation made me feel good.

    But porn and my brain were cunningly deceptive. I required more pornography, then more graphic forms of pornography. My obsession with different fetishes from transsexual to bestiality to animated gender modification, the list went on and on. I never felt ashamed about my addiction to pornography. I thought it was normal, after all every guy watches porn.

    But then something tragic happened, and I ended up in a place I swore to myself I would never go. Suffice it to say, it was highly illegal and for the first time produced both an immense wave of pleasure and intense feelings of paranoia, guilt, shame, and despair. In my panic, I destroyed my computer. Only to buy another computer and start doing the same thing.

    Eventually, I had gone through two computers and a smart phone. I was able to put 7 months between going back to this disgusting place. Nonetheless, I ended up there again. I am 21 years old, I live in constant fear, shame, and guilt. I wanted to stop this terrible addiction so I told my parents. My mother did not handle it well. She tells me she wants to kill herself. I decided to go to sex addicts anonymous, but immediately after each meeting I always relapse. I gave my computer and ipad to my dad, so I could at least hold myself accountable and prevent relapsing. I even started seeing a psychotherapist about this issue.

    And today... I relapsed again on my smart phone. It's been over a year since I've started doing this. I live in constant fear that the police will knock down my door. I can't really talk to anyone about what I'm going through, it just feels like everyone wants to punish me and turn the other way. I feel like I am constantly letting everyone around me down, including myself.

    How do I dig myself out of this mess? How do I get control over my addiction? I apologize for the long response.
     
  5. User3475682

    User3475682 Fapstronaut

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    Wow, that's deep.I don't know what to say.
     
  6. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    C'mon dude. It is the duty of parents to teach their children. A lot more harm than good comes from 'neglecting' this duty.
     
  7. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    My take on this is that parents, by the nature of their positions, should cover the conservative side of the spectrum [even if they are not that conservative themselves]. The reason being is that children/ adolescents will get the more permissive side of the spectrum from their peers, entertainment, the school system, and the wider culture today. It's more a practical issue than a theoretical one.
     
  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps you can contact your local churches and find out if there is some sort of men's group that deals with this. The main thing is to find a support group where you can share your problems.
     
    Tom_Corsi and thorswrath32 like this.
  9. My advice to you is to start going through hell with the brain-rewire withdrawal symptoms by going cold turkey which is heaven on earth as compared to being in trouble with the authorities and the heartbreak of your family and best friends! Do you get me, pal? DO YOU UNDERSTAND? START DOING IT NOW! Let the pixel people go! Let the fantasies go! You devoted a lot of time and energy to images on a computer or TV screen, now engage in life properly. It will be so nice to run the course of your remaining days with that huge obstacle and dark cloud behind you! Passions go both ways, some passions cause degradation and some cause enrichment, and there's nothing enriching about PM! The enjoyment of constantly viewing beautiful nude women dig such deep roots into the conscious and subconscious mind until that erotica COMPLETELY DEVOURS AND RAVAGES YOU! So do that 180-degree turn AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!
     
    Tom_Corsi, thorswrath32 and arpyegap like this.
  10. Firstly, you aren't alone with your struggle although it might feel like it at times, there are many people who have gone through the same process with PMO. I'm sorry to hear your mother didn't take it very well but in my experience it always comes as a shock and it might take a while for it to sink in for her. It's true what they say regarding addiction, it's not only the addict that suffers, the family suffer too. I know personally how difficult it is to swear off porn (of any kind) and to keep kicking yourself each time you relapse, i spent about 2 years relapsing before i was arrested and managed to find the right kind of help and support, will power is great but only goes so far which is why we need outside help, accountability and people who are able to listen and help us to repair the damage we have done to ourselves and others. That can be therapy with a trained psychosexual therapist, a pastor who understands the kind of issues you are going through or even good friends who want to see you get through it.

    I would suggest, seeing as like me you escalated onto illegal content, it would be in your best interest to seek out specialist help, there are organisations out there who you can call, completely anonymously and talk about your issues, they are trained individuals on the other end of the phone who have heard it all before and they wont judge you, they respect individuals who take the opportunity to reach out for help and they can point you in the right direction.

    If you are from the UK you can call Stop It Now on 0808 100 0900 Web Site: https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/

    If you are from USA you can call the same organistation Stop It Now on 1.888.PREVENT. Web site: https://www.stopitnow.org/

    If you ever feel really low you can call the Samaritans at any time. I've phoned them a couple of times before and i can highly recommend it.
     
    btwiseman and Deleted Account like this.
  11. You're one of those great shining beacons on NoFap, like a lighthouse guiding storm-tossed sailors to port.
     
  12. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Very motivating
    But how viewing porn can make you a sex offender?
     
  13. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, but teaching does not mean to avoid topics just out of fear.

    My parents feared all topics around sex and emotions. I grew up in a harsh environment.
    I showed tears? Got a cold shower and became locked up in a dark room.
    That's how I became a fapper and sex addict.
     
  14. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    Hang in here, you’re not alone. I too am like you, except I kept doing it on and off for 10 extra years. I’m 32 now and finally have some sobriety...

    It’s great that you are facing this now, don’t give up! I can assure you there is a solution that worked for me. Since day one of my current sobriety (longest I’ve ever had in 22 years of PMO use), I have done some very dramatic changes in my life. These I believe are what has allowed the addiction cycle to break and for me to have 100 days of relief from PMO.

    Please PM me if you wanna talk more! I can go over what I do daily to fight this disease. We do recover!
     
  15. Brave, my friend. Brave.
    How are you doing these days
     
    Bettermylife likes this.
  16. Thank you for sharing this.
     
  17. PeaceOnEarth108

    PeaceOnEarth108 Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing your story @thorswrath32 ,.you're enriching this place.
     

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