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Leaving the Hive

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Queenie%Bee, Sep 24, 2018.

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  1. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    I DONT KNOW YET . He’s at work haven’t spoken to him . It’s a chrome book you need gmail to get into it . We use Comcast
    Or atleast thought we did . It’s def newer . After January I’m thinking
     
  2. Hopefulgirl

    Hopefulgirl Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't tell him I found it until I cracked in. So he must have a hidden gmail acct?
     
    vxlccm and EyesWideOpen like this.
  3. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    30 day in house separation with my boundary list . That’s AT LEAST . This will more than likely be a permanent separation. I’ve done all I can , def too much to help him .
     
    Happyhobbit likes this.
  4. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    He’ll see it’s not there . And I don’t want him in my fucking bed !
     
    Happyhobbit likes this.
  5. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    More than likely my questions:
    1.When and where did you buy it
    I want the receipts or proof of purchase
    2. Log in in front of me if there’s ANY hope otherwise I bring it somewhere
    3. Why . Why . Why .
     
  6. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    Ok so it looks like guest user is basically incognito , no history or files recoded . FML
     
  7. Hopefulgirl

    Hopefulgirl Fapstronaut

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    There are ways to recover incognito! I do not know how because I am tech impaired but I know people who have retrieved it!
     
  8. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    Did he use a separate user name and not guest user?
     
  9. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    Guest user
     
  10. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like you already got into it? If not, my husband is an IT guy and said that any IT place can pull all the info off of a locked computer and put it on an external hard drive for you, if you are so inclined.
     
    fadedfidelity and Hopefulgirl like this.
  11. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    First thing tmrw :(
     
  12. Susannah

    Susannah Fapstronaut

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    Especially poignant that you found this on your way out the door going to a therapy appointment where you intended to try to neutralize the very intuitions and BT symptoms that were completely warranted and trying to protect you. You are not now, nor have you ever been “crazy”. I am so sorry anyone or anything ever made you feel that way. Hugs.
     
  13. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    I’m fighting an internal battle right now . This was not a “ slip “ a slip is if he had an urge before work and M to Kardashian’s on tv . Something had to have been happening BEFORE his addict brain to his addict ass to the store . There is no record of it on any of the CC . He had to have paid cash . Even if it’s as new as yesterday does it fucking even matter . It was the universe that led me to it without a doubt .
    My plan is I guess to have it on my lap open when he gets home from work lol
    No no that’s not how . I guess I’ll just have his shit on the couch and it next to me . WHAT WILL THIS CONVO LOOK LIKE ?? Any ideas ? I’m actually calm
    Yes @Kenzi AFUCKINGNOTHERONE
    2 and a half years of work . 9 months of relationship recovery .
    Opposite of ADDICTION is CONNECTION . The connection felt flatter I know why now . Still holding hands , still FANOS , still good morning beautiful texts . Big hugs and kisses BUT something felt OFF
     
    Happyhobbit likes this.
  14. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    Just called , he said incognito and guest mode erases fast , that he won’t b able to get in .
     
  15. Fightyourlowerself

    Fightyourlowerself Fapstronaut

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    Hi, really sorry to hear about this. I hope you are doing ok.

    Maybe someone can clarify this but my understanding was that chromebooks don't have normal logins? I thought they are basically all online using a gmail account so they don't store anything on the laptop themselves? I am not sure about this though so maybe someone who knows about this a bit more can confirm?
     
  16. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    It’s basically an android operating system on an Acer laptop . You can log in through gmail or not log in and stay as a “ guest “ which doesn’t hold or keep ANY info .
     
  17. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. To get punched in the gut like this is so painful it's nauseating. Whether you're able to get any info off of it or not, there's likely only one reason why he would've secretly purchased it and kept it hidden from you. And, that really sucks. :( Hugs.
     
    EyesWideOpen likes this.
  18. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    Oh Ofcourse I know that . But us SO like facts . So we aren’t then gaslighted . We have a home laptop. It’s clean as a whistle Ofcourse
     
  19. Queenie%Bee

    Queenie%Bee Fapstronaut

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    I have an hour before he gets home I have so much adrenaline but exhausted at the same time.
    I think my plan is just to have my boundaries list out and I printed this out because I don’t know if I’m even going to be able to speak .

    Funny story . I made an appointment with the new therapist for today over a month ago when something most definitely felt OFF . I was going to tell you about it tonight when we saw mom . My appt was to fix my triggers , spidey senses etc . It was starting to affect my mental state . I was feeling crazy about feeling crazy . Instead , this morning while finally putting the robes and towels away I stepped on a tack and noticed you moved the work tote back thought it was odd there’d be no reason for it to be there . Sure enough the addict was trying to cover his hidden gem . It’s not me . I’m not crazy . I had to pull over to vomit on the way to see her .My intuition has been a friend to me not an enemy. I was going to let it go so your day didn’t suck tomorrow. But that’s not fair to myself . ALWAYS putting how you feel first !!!!

    I do not want words anymore. You’ve been a liar . I feel like a fool .

    I only want answers . Facts

    1. When did you buy it
    2. Where from
    3. How did you pay
    4. I want a receipt
    5. I’m taking the hard drive to someone tmrw I’ll give you a chance now to tell me what’s on it
    6. Do you understand the gravity of what you have done . This is not a slip .this is a relapse ( that is if you haven’t been fucking lying to me the whole time )
    6. Be my husband right now not the addict . Throw your pride and self protecting bullshit out the window . Don’t try to gaslight or excuses

    7 . consequence 30 day in home physical separation. When the boys ask me why , I’ll tell them they can ask you . They deserve to know some truths .
    YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN FOR EVERYTHING. I will be your friend even though you have NOT been one to me .I will NOT be a wife to you . Don’t blame me . I’ve done all your recovery work . I’ve begged for you to do more . Nope nope nope . I’m a damned good wife . I have shown you so much love throughout these horrendous 21/2 years . Things were good for awhile . Then YOU changed .
    We’ll see where day 31 brings us .


    I can’t NOT put it out there . I just don’t want to lose my confidence. I don’t want to buckle under how much love I have for him . Who knows , many addicts leave the woman because “ the relationship is hard “
    So be it . One day at a time right ?
     
  20. HonestyMatters

    HonestyMatters Fapstronaut

    OMG I’m so sorry!! I know how supportive you have been and all you’ve done. I am shaking right now and so shattered for you. All I can think right now, is this where it ends up for all us supportive wives. This is so FUCKKKED!!! I’m livid and feeling immense FEAR pulsating through my veins right now!!!! *Biggest hugs to you QB*
     
    Lostneverland and Susannah like this.

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