Craig'slist and Kik/Snapchat

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ominous1, Jul 6, 2017.

  1. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    The feeling makes sense. Whenever our life is altered significantly we are going to feel worried and even panicked. I would put giving up my PMO habit up there with moving, death, loss of employment or any of the other major life change events that can really throw people for a loop. You have radically altered your life. That is frightening. Remind yourself that feeling like you do is normal and to be expected. And as bad as you feel giving up your old habit you'll feel so much worse if you go back.
     
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  2. ominous1

    ominous1 Fapstronaut

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    Going back and opening new accounts and trying to reestablish connections with people would take a great deal of effort. I don't think I would do that at this point, just feeling very anxious. I am continually reminding myself it's all a part of the process, and it means I am healing. Breathing exercises and hot/cold have helped as well.
     
  3. I'm into craigs list to try to meet men, sick always get cold feet never actually do. makes sence thy and I am just looking for, d*&^. no wonder people are not sociable on there like on NoFap, or other forums
     
  4. me to. I am tired of it. I never actually done anything . I get scared and really, don't want to meet a man for that.
     
  5. D1234

    D1234 Guest

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    I feel you man. I'm there with you it's a dark place. So much time wasted looking through profiles...

    This community will help. I've relapsed a few times and it's hard not to hate yourself for it but we have to just keep moving forwards.
     
    FigureOfSpeech likes this.
  6. o refuse to look at craigs list right now. in this moment, no craigs list.
     
  7. Livinginexile

    Livinginexile New Fapstronaut

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    seeking casual sexual encounters online was my main struggle years back. From around early 2011 to about late 2013 I posted explicit ads on the casual encounter section of Craigslist off and on as well as other sites. I would send sexually explicit photos to people whoni thought were women but looking back I realize many were most likely gay men pretending to be women catfishing people. I would trade pics with and engage in cyber sex with people from sites like plenty of fish and okcupid as well. it was such a rush like nothing I can explain and could get lost in the prowl and fantasy for hours at a time. I always felt worthless afterwards and suicidal. 99 percent of the time I would never meet these people in real life because they would end up being fake or like I said men catfishing straight guys by pretending to be women. I would usually masturbate to the messages they would send me they would ever send me pics. looking back I feel disgusted . it's totally against my values as a Christian and a conservative man. Every now and then I get the urge to browse Craigslist or enter a chatroom . I just have to say no. It's not worth the after effects
     
  8. PSC94

    PSC94 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah dude, I’ve personally had a lot of issues with messaging people on Kik.

    Not really so much Craigslist, maybe because I was more aware of its seedy nature and afraid of diseases, but I almost followed through a couple times.

    It’s messed up, and not healthy for you or the person you’re talking to. Sometimes our desires make us the problem rather than the solution, and too many times I became an enabler to others.

    I still struggle with it, the idea of talking and acting on my sexual fantasies, but I know that going down that road in such a manner is a surefire way to deteriorate my mental health.

    A lot of posts in this thread have been very positive, so keep up the good work guys! Keep fighting every day! :)
     
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  9. Barnsleylad

    Barnsleylad Fapstronaut

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    Totally get you, very similar story, (though through kinky sites rather than craigslist) pretty sure most of the girls I sexed with were legit...know for sure a few were.

    Which to me in a messed up way is somehow much more disturbing?

    Like sure any guy with the sufficient funds can hire hooker.. But the knowledge a average guy like myself could chat to a outwardly 'very normal' girl for a few hours, then be meeting her in a motel room and getting right down to it.....

    Your not just watching porn anymore its like you've climbed into the screen to this twilight zone place.. Where its all actually real!
     
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  10. thorswrath32

    thorswrath32 Fapstronaut

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    We become complicit in our own destruction, chasing a carrot on a stick that gets further and further away, but with the belief that the person dangling the carrot is offering liberation and freedom and others watch from the outside and see a desperate man who is blind to his own downfall.
     
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  11. Onehope

    Onehope Fapstronaut


    I understand, just avoid all those things because they are your triggers, and if you even casually check it out you will end up relapsing.

    And never do it, even if you've been 100 days away from it don't do it.
     
  12. PornFreeMe

    PornFreeMe Fapstronaut

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    I struggle with this as well. As others have said, the possibility of connecting to someone is so intoxicating and electrifing. I literally get hypnotized and spend hours chasing nothing. This the chaser affect, to the definition.

    Ive never engaged, but craigslist hunting and sexual messaging has been the brunt of my addiction for 10 years. I stopped MO, mostly porn. Cant seem to stop dredging CL and other sites, sending emails, hoping someone will be into me. I've never met, but boy have I planned...

    This shit fuckin sucks. If you've got any advice to curb this part of my addictive sexual behavior, let me know. I want this part to disappear! It's definitely worse than porn for me
     
  13. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    What prevents you from getting an internet filter and blocking those sites?
     
  14. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    This idea, to me, is probably the biggest reason why Craigslist has been such a hard thing for me to break away from.

    It's the feeling that my fantasy is just within reach. And the truth is, I've actually had some really great sexual experiences through Craigslist. But those make up about 1% of what I actually experienced overall. It's like the lottery, you know? The chances are so remote, but there's that thing inside you that says, "but maybe this time you'll hit the jackpot." I've actually believed that the perfect woman of my dreams is on f*&#ing Craigslist ... which is pretty insane, because if you've ever spent much time on there communicating with people, you learn quickly that CL doesn't exactly attract the highest quality people (yes, I realize the hypocrisy of me saying that since I was on it myself). But the truth is, in very very rare cases, I'll come across a legitimately stunning, sexual woman who seems attracted to me ... and even if only 1 out of 1000 turn out that way, it's that slim chance that nags at me and keeps pulling me back to it.

    Browsing CL is one of my bottom-line behaviors, so my PMO counter includes that. I literally cannot go there.
     
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  15. Barnsleylad

    Barnsleylad Fapstronaut

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    I'm curious mate, why specifically craigslists?

    Like knowing the chances were so low compared to other sites..
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2018
  16. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    Probably because I felt like CL offered more anonymity. I could share scandalous pictures and get attention/responses that way, then decide if I wanted to show my face or not ... with something like Tinder, I suspect I would feel more exposed, since I'd have to put my real name and picture out there first, and then go from there, if that makes sense.
    It also gave me the chance to lead with my sexuality in a way I probably wouldn't on other sites, out of fear that someone I know might recognize me.
     
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  17. PornFreeMe

    PornFreeMe Fapstronaut

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    @SuperFan

    I tried a porn blocker on a few months ago. I could just reset phone in safe mode and remove it. How could I go about specifically blocking Craigslist? Id benefit from that.
     
  18. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Freedom from both kik and those kind of apps during recovery is for me, just talking out of my personal experience, the way to go. I feel very few urges and have very few options in term of grooming some chick to show me something sexual (which I would never share by the way, I am not a total asshole) so that weeds out most of those triggers for M and self-manufactured P (so to speak)
     
  19. kodap1980

    kodap1980 New Fapstronaut

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    This is my first post.

    Reading this is such a relief that I’m not alone. I could honestly cry.

    I’m getting depressed searching for the next “buzz”. Kik is my downfall. I hate it but I love it. Like some of you have already said the thought of engaging with someone is fascinating and that’s what I’m chasing. The fact some really hot girls and some that are explicitly sexually forward and seem interested in me really turns me on but it’s becoming a real problem. Some days I can’t focus because of it. It’s really beginning to get me down.
    Whilst I’m looking and chatting I’m in the zone but once I O the guilt and depression kicks in. I get angry at myself and others.

    I’m a dad and happily married and I love the girl with all my heart, but this virtual life I lead is definitely having an effect on the frequency of our intimacy and I hate myself for that.

    I’ve deleted kik a few times now but always reverted back, either to a new account or revived my current one.
    I’ve now deleted and changed the passwords so can’t get back in.

    I don’t watch porn that often really but when I do it engulfs me and I end up looking through kik again.

    This is it for me. I need to sort it out before I end up in a heap or my marriage ends up on a heap.

    The invention of the Smart Phone ha seriously affected my life.

    Any advice would be great.
     
  20. PSC94

    PSC94 Fapstronaut

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    The fact that you’re married certainly complicates things.

    Kik is a dangerous drug, especially if you’re in the market for some ladies who are straight up freaks.

    But then again, they are straight up freaks. A lot of them are weird. They have their own issues which is why they do what they do.

    You got a good thing going - a woman who will stay by your side, for better or worse.

    That’s something that matters a whole lot more than busting a nut.
     
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