Cowboy0547's Journal

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Reboot Logs' started by Cowboy0547, Jul 20, 2018.

  1. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Day 1
    I am actually on Day 7. But choose to recall my starting point as best I can. After all it was a big day for myself. Actually spent the day just very happy and at peace with myself. It have just waited so long to address this problem. I just became totally sick, tired and disgusted with this addiction. Just getting starting on anything like this is such a big deal with me. Anyways it feels like a "do or die" situation right now. This is a good thing for me. Just reinforces the importance of self-improvement in this area of my life. Just a brief smile as I went to bed which is one of my times to watch some porn and self-pleasure myself. But I had decided no way today. And thus I have begun.
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  2. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Day 2
    Woke in the early am which would have been another time for PMO. I had thought about this and was ready for it so to speak. Interesting there was no great urge just very conscious this was a time I often spent for PMO. No real urges the rest of this day but very conscious of all the time I waste thinking about and doing my PMO addiction. Can already see I will have to better plan my days to fill in that time with more positive productive things. A little "pity party" early evening, just whining in my head why me, how did I get here and why am I this way.
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  3. ReadyToStop

    ReadyToStop Fapstronaut

    411
    458
    63
    Chase ! and Cowboy0547 like this.
  4. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Hey Mister ...... actually going quite well. Surprised to see any comment here as you can see no work on a journal on this site. I am struggling a bit with the journal on this site. I am, I think moving towards starting one however. Most likely going to move it or restart one in the non-age group category. I am older but to me the age thing is not a factor .... this is a non-discrimating addiction as far as the age thing goes. Enough about me.......!!!!! I see the 13 on your counter which happens to be my current goal. I did have 12 a short time ago but was not ready to commit to working on my addiction. BUT I AM NOW!!!!! I love your Avatar ..... I have lots of pics of lone trees in open spaces like yours. Congratulations on your 13. Maybe i here from you again my friend.....
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  5. ReadyToStop

    ReadyToStop Fapstronaut

    411
    458
    63
    You will hear from me. Never assume we don't read journals, even if we don't respond. I'm excited to have reached 13 days. I find myself walking taller, if that makes any sense. I see my wife cuddling up to me more. It's like she can sense there's a change in me.

    I am not actually starting a journal because I find helping young people in the under 20 age group gives me more satisfaction. it's true that this addiction is non-discriminating but the emotional space we occupy is very different. I'm in my late 40's and I can sense the terror in their writing. Most of the time I say hello to them when they join and encourage them. I can only imagine how important it is for them to be able to confide in someone older.
     
    Chase ! and Cowboy0547 like this.
  6. Son of shiva

    Son of shiva Fapstronaut

    Bhai all the best for your journey..keep sailing
     
    Chase ! and Cowboy0547 like this.
  7. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Yup ...... you pushed to motivate a little my friend. Gonna start a jour
    Well I am even older yet partner. I agree with age comes wisedom just to damn bad we don't follow our own advice. I get scared and nervous about the way they talk and feel may times also. Also feel this great need to help because they have a lot more Life to Live so to speak. A lot of the younger guys just impress the crap out of me. I'm just amazed that they can come here and admit this problem and discuss it. I don't believe I would have at their age. Tend to disagree with your emotional space comment. Speaking for us males. Sad to say we're all the same meaning "the little head the end of your dick does the thinking for the big head your brain way too many times You get older supposed to be more wiser but I think often I'm dumber and more childish. So much of it is just urges and feelings we have as males at any age. Sometimes I laugh at what they think of us old folks. Your emotional space comment ..... I will spend a lot of time thinking about this Thank You for that my friend.
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  8. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Thank You there is no quit in my heart. I wish you the same. I might want to start using my journal but I want to move it to a different category or start another one not sure how to do that yet.
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  9. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Just want to the Thank the administration here for moving my journal to this category. I will send a proper message their way when I fiquire out how.
    THANKS AGAIN TO THE NOFAP TEAM!!!!
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  10. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Geez I put a comment out the wind in regards to moving my journal. The NOFAP TEAM did it for me that fast. Will not write in it everyday but might be a good place for some thoughts. Time will tell. Maybe a little bad news for you, I consider you a friend. Thank You for ...... that was nice to hear from someone in that way.
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  11. ReadyToStop

    ReadyToStop Fapstronaut

    411
    458
    63
    Being your friend is not bad news.

    Hang in there! I'm celebrating lucky 13 today :)
     
    Chase ! and MikeDownUnder like this.
  12. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Well .......... your above post is now my wallpaper ..... I will "see" that number 57 in my future. Sailing is not a bad way to see this journey. But being the American I am I must say "my V8 is now running on all 8 cylinders
    YUP ...... Hey I consider 13 a lucky number ...... it might just be me "bucking" the system (LOL). Just so happens I had reset my counter on 2018-08-13 yet another 13. I hope I will never catch up to you. Keep up your good work partner. I am always amazed how much better I feel about life and myself even after only one day. Catch you again sometime....
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  13. ReadyToStop

    ReadyToStop Fapstronaut

    411
    458
    63
    I know. It's amazing, isn't it? PMO has been breaking us.
     
    Chase ! and Cowboy0547 like this.
  14. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    For me if I focus on that thought ..... It really, really helps. Hey you slide right by 13 ..... nice work.....
     
    Chase ! and ReadyToStop like this.
  15. ReadyToStop

    ReadyToStop Fapstronaut

    411
    458
    63
    thank you!
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  16. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Day #4
    Well here I am coming up on the end of Day #4. Sure feels good. Thinking long and hard about what triggers this PMO thing for me. I have to think about the whole thing for several more days and maybe a few more (LOL). I wish I did not have to BUT for me I must to retain my focus by constantly reminding myself of the benefits of NOFAP. Learning to laugh at my stupid brain and it's feelings and overpowering urges. Sometimes it tells me this sucks, it is too hard just on and on with some self-pity party. No rational reason for feeling "bad" I just do and this just sucks. Maybe a little PMO would help (WRONG!). I am learning to calm down and just stop my little world until the irrational thoughts pass. That first day of NOFAP after a relapse is always so wonderful. Just one good day and I feel so much better about life and myself just an instant thing. My mind is learning and changing the next good day and the next good day after that first day are also now just as good ..... maybe even a little better.
    I see the 3 letters in PMO. DO any one letter and the other 2 will ALWAYS follow. I think just as important do 1 of the 3 and immediately the self-worth and shit feelings come.

    Mankind and society have this sex thing all messed up. It has become overrated. After all we are just animals. Nature's way is have sex to make babies. I am sure it feels good to them but it is supposed to be a quick act. Some other animal may catch them and eat them if get caught having sex (LOL). Animals do not self-pleasure themselves it is not normal. There are other ways to show love and affection to their mates and they do.

    To me a journal like this will not be to discuss my daily routines or habits too much. Because we are all different what works for one will likely not work for another.

    Just for now keep my thinking hat on and STAY busy..... I don't know I read again after seeing these things on paper and it does not seem so bad to me right now. Maybe I will come on occasion and do this again even if I don't know how to journal.

    BEST HOPE is if someone comes and reads and it helps them in some small way I will be happy.
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  17. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    OK Mister ..... still have zero clue why you first came here and asked how things were going. In the next breathe sure glad you did. Day #4 will end later. More of my bull tweed ....below. Later my friend.
     
    Chase ! likes this.
  18. ReadyToStop

    ReadyToStop Fapstronaut

    411
    458
    63
    Ok I'm glad my timing worked out. Sounds like you're keeping it together. It's tough. I know.
     
    Chase ! and Cowboy0547 like this.
  19. Chase !

    Chase ! Fapstronaut

    43
    2,937
    123
    I am not worthy enough to write in your journal...
    -_-||
     
  20. Cowboy0547

    Cowboy0547 Fapstronaut

    97
    115
    43
    Mm,
    How long have you been awake my friend???? That comment was most likely not your first mistake of the day (LOL). Besides my journal, my place and you are my friend. I WIN AND YOU LOSE ...... I have decided you are most worthy.
     

Share This Page