Counting of days

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Blurredlife, May 22, 2019.

  1. Blurredlife

    Blurredlife Fapstronaut

    39
    54
    18
    Hi all not sure if this has gone into right topic forum but I am on Day 1 and I’m not that big a fan of counting the days as I think it’s uninvited pressure over the recovery period. I’m just wondering does anyone have any tips in which to stop counting? Would really like to start forgetting how many days eventually.
     
  2. captaingill

    captaingill Fapstronaut

    38
    176
    33
    Welcome to NoFap Mate! Counting days is only the initiation to break the lifelong cycle of PMO.. Challenges like 90 Day Challenge keep us goal oriented... Once we overcome our habit and done.. then we don't need count days.. it is only there as tool in start!
    Stay Blessed!!
     
    Deleted Account and Fenix Rising like this.
  3. betterman2019

    betterman2019 New Fapstronaut

    4
    4
    3
    Thanks - feel the same, but am looking forward to 'any' days under my belt. No pun intended.
     
  4. Blurredlife

    Blurredlife Fapstronaut

    39
    54
    18
    Good luck betterman I hope I can live up to your username soon.
     
  5. Blurredlife

    Blurredlife Fapstronaut

    39
    54
    18
    Been here for quite a while now I think yesterday was my third relapse. My poor brain is going back and forth.
     
  6. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

    939
    1,098
    123
    I have the same reservations about days counting, especially once we hit 90 days monk mode reboot mark. I'm looking at the counter more like a remainder of when I started walking on my path to recovery, not about how long no PMO streak has lasted. All or nothing mentality doesn't work at least not for me. Losing long streak is devastating if you adopt such mentality, which is very prevalent on this forum unfortunately.

    From what I've read about successful addiction recoveries of any kind, it's crucial to differentiate between a slip and a relapse:

    1) Slip is a moment of weakness. In our case it would mean that you PMO one time after 90 days of successful reboot, analyze why did it happen, learn from it and immediately continue on your path. If you manage to do that, I even wouldn't reset the counter as your healing progress hasn't been lost.

    1) I'd categorize relapse as a state of returning to your old path: when PMO leads you to days, weeks or even months of old behavior. That causes you to abandon your newly build narrow neuropathway, you've been trying to build in your brain and start using the old neuropath-highway you've build and used over the years of PMO addiction. That's when most (in case of weeks or months long relapse probably all) progress you've made has been lost and you need to start from zero (resetting your counter).

    With that being said, I'd set some ground rules to this. First you need to complete 3 months of PMO reboot without relapses (preferably in monk mode) to give your brain time to abandon old and build new neuropathway (it takes about 66 days on average plus minus few weeks). Secondly you also have to set some rules on how often slip can occur to be counted just as a slip and not relapse. For me once or twice inside 2-3 month period would still be considered a slip, 3 times not anymore as you start to walk a path of delayed gratification (-> you crave for PMO, sustain for a few weeks knowing award awaits you, do PMO, sustain few weeks, do PMO again->… that's as bad as PMOing continuously because you keep sabotaging your newly build narrow neuropathway in your brain).
     
    captaingill likes this.
  7. captaingill

    captaingill Fapstronaut

    38
    176
    33
    It is still fine.. The most important thing is, we have to change the mentality... don't start to punish yourself and feel bad for relapsing.. Developing this habit have taken a lot of time similarly breaking this habit will also take time and effort... My advice is get out of your comfort zone, not just from PMO, but also take steps and force yourself to change the lazy attitude..And get an Accountability Partner to whom you can talk at moment of craving and share your daily progress...Slowly and steadily without losing hope is the way forward...!!
     
  8. Blurredlife

    Blurredlife Fapstronaut

    39
    54
    18
    This is an excellent post mate I think I was somewhere up to 69 days when I M last night do you think i’ve relapsed or just had a moment of weakness?
     
  9. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

    939
    1,098
    123
    It really doesn't matter. The only productive thing to do now is to try figure it out why you slipped, learn from it and move on immediately.
     
    trob45 likes this.
  10. Blurredlife

    Blurredlife Fapstronaut

    39
    54
    18
    It was the usual thing I had an urge and was just sat on my bed next thing you know I’m sat watching a girl moaning the funny thing is that I was getting ready to exercise which I should’ve spent on that energy instead.
     
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  11. Samsonite87

    Samsonite87 Fapstronaut

    19
    19
    3
    I have gone back and forth on if counting the days is good or bad for me. I like the counter on this site because it keeps track without you having to consciously think about it. I can just live my life without having to check the calendar every day or every other day to see how far I've come.

    When I made it 90ish days during my last streak, I didn't count days actively, but I did mark the calendar as to when my last PMO was so that when I was curious, or felt I might slip, I could look at the calendar and count the days. It helped not want to lose that progress.
     
  12. betterman2019

    betterman2019 New Fapstronaut

    4
    4
    3
    I can tell you, the "hour" counter didn't make a lot of sense this morning. But by this afternoon, my non-streak is still in jeopardy.

    The counter, I believe, serves it's purpose. It's another dimension to your discipline that many of us never really tracked before. Simply being cognizant of it is helping me change my relationship with "PMO" habits.

    You can be as lax or pedantic with the "clock" as you wish. It's your success on the line. The truly recovered, I believe, no longer need a clock to tell them that "they are on track". I want to be living that reality instead.
     
  13. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Just in reply to the first post, (bbl) you can also look at it as a tool rather than a goal in itself. The ruler or the clock are not goals, we just use it. And you might count all the good stuff you do rather than what you don't do, and then look back after a period of working on yourself and see through all that time you didn't fap.
     
    betterman2019 likes this.

Share This Page