Controlling Myself

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Calidaho, Jun 4, 2019.

  1. Calidaho

    Calidaho Fapstronaut

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    Hello all,

    My name is Jay. Just a little bit about myself: I've been into porn since about 12 or 13 (I'm 25 now) and have been trying to quite ever since. The longest I've gone was about 3 or 4 months. I notice my triggers tend to be boredom, frustration, or seeing an image or person that's a little too attractive for my willpower that day. About a week ago I decided I would try giving-up once more and had been going pretty good until today.

    I watched an innocent youtube video about japan, which reminded me of a not so innocent video from a different site with a performer from Japan. Despite my best attempt to tell myself no, I went off to go find that video. As I was looking through for it, I noticed something about myself that I had never really noticed before. My heart was beating super fast as I was looking around. I suppose it always had done that, but I never noticed.

    Noticing my heart rate, for whatever reason, brought me back down to earth as I realized, I'm not in control of my own body. I told myself NO, and yet here I was looking around for stimulation that will never satisfy. There's no one I feel comfortable sharing this with in real life, but going it alone isn't working. So here I am now.

    I'm not sure how consistent I'll be with my log, but I do intend to do one at a minimum of once a week, hopefully more. I'm glad to be among others on the same journey, so thank you in advance to you all.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2019
    eoptda and Ethan1982 like this.
  2. Ethan1982

    Ethan1982 Fapstronaut

    Welcome here Calidaho
    I also know this heart beating at a high rate. I too realized my addiction through that selfobservation.
    Wish you all the Best!
     
  3. Always be positive

    Always be positive Fapstronaut

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  4. Mr. McMarty

    Mr. McMarty Fapstronaut

    Welcome hang in there and help other people!
     

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