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Confusing Sex with Love/Relationship...?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by solsticeboy, Jan 11, 2017.

  1. solsticeboy

    solsticeboy Fapstronaut

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    So I've decided to really get a handle on my PMO habit this year-really cut out porn to almost nothing and focus on my own imagination and fantasy when the mood strikes infrequently (after a reboot) but I must ask:

    Has anyone here ever felt like they wanted sex but knew it was really a relationship but felt that they were too focused on the sex part and not the being with the person part instead?

    There's nothing wrong with sexual desire but I feel personally that while sex might make me feel more relieved not to be a "virgin" (which I'm technically not despite never having a girlfriend or partner), I'm 100% sure that having loads of sex with 10-15...20...50 girls (which is a high number, I know) isn't going to make me all around happy or give me what i'm looking for. There's communication, adventures, jokes and laughter, smiles and warm feelings of deep connection with another soul who shares yours and complements you in this world like no other way and reveals your best version of yourself. And so much more.

    I've never been "in love" although there were certainly maybe 3-4 girls who I felt where borderline between love and infatuation. But if I've confused love and sex then at 25 I feel I should (as a man) have done better and let myself be sucked in by visuals and fantasy too much. Will a reboot really reverse this or is it a more gradual process? I want a girlfriend in the near future and close sensual/intimate connections but I'm almost embarrased by myself and how maybe I got the two confused from time to time...

    I honestly didn't think I could have sunk this low. It's at this point that self-loathing starts to set in.
     
  2. the promise

    the promise Fapstronaut

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    Just like adverstment sprite commercial says , girls smell youre desperation , so youre 25 and lonley , its a hard world out there , the perception about movies porn music every thing you've seen has make you think being in love is easy and getting to know a women its easy and every thing , well its not to easy ,get informed about what they like what they dont theres plenny information im shure you might looked already ,also know that when a girl is in love with you , you will never know trussst me ull die and then you'll know there like that so.if you like.someone let her know , not by telling her directly lol by indirects mostly ,also you can't be shy neaither foolish you got to have a balance you will know when the candidate comes buuuut be careful my friend roses may have their spines and other have venom it doesn't always works but its a.great adventure other than just fapping go out for with a girl you invite stuff like that and plis just pliss do.you're self a favor dont you ever watch porn.again and masturbate , and also treat women as a women their not machines respect them think of them as youre mother sister or grand mother they deserve respect as well no matter how they treat you luck friend you can do this sorry if it doesn't help you as i wanted but i hope you will try Luck !
     
  3. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    Im 17 on day 130 hc no pmo and still a virgin. I had very similar experiences in having difficulty distinguishing between lustful mating sex and a long term deeper connection of mutual love and understanding between two people. I think that focusing on finding someone you really love is the ultimate way to sexual satisfaction. The sex will come eventually and be more passionate, but I dont find myself worrying about this too much. I have my urges under control and sex is an after thought my true goal is to find real love with someone. It is not until deep into abstaining completely from PMO I came to this realization (100+ days or so). Dont live in the past, the past dosent equal the future. You need to find real love with a girlfriend, keep doing nofap, and not dwell on having been confused in the past. If your intentions are pure you want real love outside of sex you are already at a big advantage and any girl would be lucky to have you. Get out there and find someone you have true love for and want be with long term be patient and disciplined, the pussy will come and be even better having found the right person to share passionate love with.
     

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