Confused guy with ED

I've always been confused about my sexuality. I was molested repeatedly by a male family member when I was young and I think that was when I noticed that I get easily attracted to guys. I've been trying to deny it by having relationships with girls but never to the point of having sex. I never tried having sex when I was young but I kept on masturbating to porn so I guess I can say that I didn't have any erection problems then. When I got into college, that's when I started watching gay porn and I get aroused by it but eventually, I masturbated to it even if I was not hard. Masturbation even became a habit that I do it almost every morning when I take a bath even if my dick is soft and it stays soft if I stimulate it. I'm not sure when it started but when I tried having sex with a girl, I cant get it up. That's when I realized that I am probably gay since I like watching gay porn. When I did get the change to have sex with a guy, I still couldn't get it up. So I got really confused. I concluded that it might just be porn induced and if I stopped watching porn, which I tried to do but repeatedly failed, I might fix this erection problem of mine. Til now, I still am having problem getting it up unless I look at porn. I've even tried hiring escorts a lot of times just so I can test if my porn free week would work and allow me to have sex but it still does not work. Although I can get it up when it is being stimulated, once I tried to have sex it just goes limp. This happens to both male and female escorts. I'm really stressed because of this. I feel like I'm such a failure of a person because I'm still young and I've never really enjoyed sex. When I have sex, it usually only ends up with oral sex and that's it. I really want to enjoy sex. I don't care if its with a girl or a guy. I just wanna have an erection wherein I can enjoy sex. I hope that I can overcome this once I can discipline myself to not watch porn or even masturbate. I'm still tempted today to go hire an escort but I feel like it's only going to be a waste of time since I won't be able to enjoy it completely anyway. and it's an expensive habit.

 

I've even tried a lot of supplements just to see if there's a chemical imbalance somewhere causing my ED. Although it did help a little bit, it still did not help me to the point if being able to have sex. I've tried prescription ED drugs, vigrx, and I just ordered testosterone boosters online. I'm not sure if it's going to work.

I get jealous with some of my friends telling my that whey protein even causes them to have erections all the time. I work out and even though I drink whey everyday, it still did not help me with my erection problem.

 

Did you manage to get better with your ED after your 75 day streak?

 

Thank you. I really hope this will help.

 

But are you still experiencing ED?

 

I hope we get to achieve our goals here.

 

Day 5 - I've tried doing nofap before but I usually only last a few days cause I get worried that I don't get horny thinking my ED problem is getting worse. I end up hiring an escort again just to check if it's working. I can get it hard albeit it needs quite a lot of stimulation. Now, I haven't had any morning erections but I'm not worried. I guess this will the normal thing for me now. I don't see any changes as of the moment except for the fact that I don't get excited.

 

I will. Thanks for the advice. I just hope I won't stumble within the next month. I usually get demotivated once I fail and I find it difficult to start again thinking how pointless this is since I will only keep on failing again and again.

 

Day 7. My mind has been tempting me to masturbate for the past 2 days. The thing down there won't cooperate though so I kinda just shove the thought off and think that maybe my body is really not up for it. I'm getting a bit worried though that my ED is getting worse since for the past few days it seems like it's dead. Before, when I masturbate to porn, I get morning erections (when I don't masturbate, I normally don't get them) and even when I take a shower I can easily get an erection by stimulating my penis. The problem is that I can't maintain it unless I keep on stroking. Now, it's just dead. Lol. I'm a bit worried now. Hopefully I can endure the mind stress this is bringing.

 

Day 7 and I already failed. I must admit, it's cause I set myself up for failure. Instead of being vigilant all the time I started looking at pictures of escorts (non naked ones) and I ended up getting one a few hours ago. I only ended up getting a hand job but I think even the 7 days of abstinence helped since I got hard and I didn't even lose my erection even when there was no direct stimulation. Making out makes me erect again though not super hard but at least theres an erection. I'll just take this as an learning opportunity and get motivated to abstain even longer. But for now, I'm back to day 1.