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Confessing your pm addiction to your fiancee

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by yellow flowers, Feb 4, 2017.

  1. yellow flowers

    yellow flowers Fapstronaut

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    Hey Guys,

    Need your suggestion/comments on how to go about telling your would be fiancee that you have been a pm addict for over a decade.

    I've been primarily been a M addict and a bit of P addict for around 15 yrs. Its time when my parents are looking for a match. But I don't want to start a serious relationship hiding this biggest truth. I want to build a trust relationship where every thing is transparent between me and my partner. I want her to know these things about me. I dont want to falsify facts and lie to her. I am ok :( if she decides not to go ahead with the marriage after listening to me.

    I am looking for the best non-offensive way of confessing this to her. Also some other substitute words for P and M, I am kind of shy telling these crap to a woman..

    I know there are wonderful and beautiful minds here, Counting on you :)
     
  2. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    I need help confessing my fiancé to my PMO addiction. . .
     
  3. Unfortunaly i found the best way is to just be honest, honesty for something you have been hiding isnt easy.
    Regardless of how you spin it, there will probably be some hurt feelings.
    even if its uncomfortable sex and pmo is something youll want to learn to be comfortable talking about with your fiancé, so just call a spade a spade the more you use the language the more comfortable itll be.

    Hope this helps. Be strong and go for
     
  4. Sit her down. Start with I love you and that is why I cannot lie to you anymore.
    When a man confesses if his own free will and owns up to his mistakes then she will be more able to trust you.
    Yes it will hurt.
    Yes she will cry.
    Yes she will be angry at you.
    Yes you will leave with your integrity intact.
    She will respect your honesty.

    My husband has always been too much of a coward to own up to his PMO addiction. He has lied to me for 9 years on and off. I have no respect for him and cannot trust him.

    Honesty in confession shows you are not a coward. You a man. We all make mistakes. Lying isn't a mistake. Its a lack of character and strength
     
  5. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Just tell her.
    My girlfriend knows, and she doesn't care. It's not the point of the relationship.
     
  6. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    @yellow flowers @Married*2*Dr*Jekyll

    When I was young, my first gf "confessed" to me, blushing and under tears, that she is watching soap operas in the afternoon, instead of learning for her examen ;)

    In that moment I understood that this "confessing" is total crap.

    In fact, if you tell her or not is totally irrelevant. I did and it changed nothing.
    Also, you are confessing always something from the past. But it is only important what you do today and tomorrow.
     
    Strength And Light likes this.
  7. I always find these threads surprising.
    I've just about always told all my gfs past and present about liking a bit of porn. Never been an issue. Many of then liked it too.
     
  8. yellow flowers

    yellow flowers Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys! thanks very much for your suggestions.

    I went on to tell my fiancee that i had this addiction which started at a very young age and all that happened after that. Yes she was hurt and she cried. She listened everything patiently and said its ok.

    I feel thats the way to go about in a relationship, transparent and pure.

    Dont bother that you will lose her if you tell her, even if she walks out she will do you a favour because she is not meant for you and if she stays back the bond will be stronger than ever so you are a winner in both the case.

    Happy telling !!
     
    i_wanna_get_better1 likes this.
  9. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    Good!!!

    Now you have some one to hold you accountable to nofap.
     

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