Competition

I recognized today that one of the reasons I started using PMO again was the constant pressure of competition between men regarding women.

Competition leads to tension and tension is something I have struggled with all my life. Social anxiety, stress and not being able to relax have been difficult things for me during my life, and giving into this tension was one of the reasons I resorted to using PMO instead of "competing" for women. I opted out and used excuses to not compete.

Essentially the competition is in my (and other guys) head really, as women do the choosing and initiating flirtation is the job of women usually (unless guys cold approach) so I shouldn't really bother. Hostility and power plays haven't been my strong suit at all in life, so I retreated from these situations and felt poorly about myself. Not giving a fuck is a good goal to get over this.

Working on myself is really the only thing I can do to get where I want to be with women, but getting challenged or ridiculed is still something that bothers me when it happens. Clearly I've been putting off getting better for wrong reasons. You can't get the years back.