Commiting to be be lost in my desires

Since I was a child I have been facing sexual content. First I was forced to it through a neighbour of mine. Later I just seek it everywhere to reflect on all my emotions. In kindergarten two of my teachers abused me mentally after I had sexual exploration with a girlfriend of mine. The shame in me was planted and grew from this day on. Through my whole life, sexuality was something dirty that I had to hide from other people.
Around 12 years old I figured out that I could not stay away from pornography and fantasising about girls in my life in this way. Not I am in my twenties and almost 1 month into NoFap. With every day my desire is growing and taking bigger parts in my thoughts. I admit being helpless over my addiction. Still, I have hope and want to fight for a more healthy life with clear and open sexuality!

 

Thank you, guys. It means a lot to me. No shit!