Cold turkey

Man I been cranking it literally since ‘97. So ashamed but I’ve mastered quitting things lately. I’m a recovered drug addict, over 5 years totally sober from narcotics and have also quit smoking. Hell I even quit eating meat two years ago for health reasons. I guess what I want is to have normal relationships with people. And I never knew that jerking off 3/4/7 times a day had such an impact on dopamine levels. Honestly I just thought I was depressed but after abstaining from masturbation and porn for 2 days I realized how big of a deal it is. And now I’ve relapsed, for a few days multiple times a day. I’m floored because how could I. I put cigarettes down cold turkey and I can’t do this? What? This is a powerful addiction and it has me shaken. But I must quit I know I have to. For me this problem is so bad it will kill me. The fact is I only seem to be happy when I’m watching and I know there’s more to life.