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Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by HandsOffDong, Mar 2, 2017.
The cold approach was an experiment if anything really. It is not like women are on my mind 24/7, early stages of NoFap just make you super horny.
I need a good year for myself. Some times my hatred for women is on par with Ted Bundy but without the violence.
Even today I was out with my bro, two chicks had their phones out, suddenly started laughing. Even their humor bugs the crap out of me.
I know that feel bro.I am in the early stage of NoFap and I am horny asf.It sounds like you have a bit of red pill in you.
What's red pill?
I use internet way less now, my horniness is steady.
No need to overinterpret her actions
I had female friends verry obviously saying that I "behave not normal and overreact" just because I stood up for my opinion in an argument (maybe there are not used to this?.. dunno)
Anyways.. they still all wanna hang with me
Let girls feel that you dont let them affect how chilled you are - if you see her again just go in with the mindset that she did not behave weird because of you (maybe she had a bad day)
Maybe after you first met her you should have just exchanged numbers instead of going to the mall with her, if you ask me , going to the mall with her after immediately meeting her is kinda weird since you just met, should have organised a meet up after speaking to her over the phone/text the next day or something.
You need to learn to charm a women. Don't come on too weak, don't come on too strong, find that goldilocks zone.
Also, kudos for a cold approach, but keep in mind that in a stone cold approach the woman owes you nothing. Due to the nature of the game, you are putting yourself out there, and most of the time you will be 'rejected'.
Please be kind to girls, especially nice ones who smile and have a conversation with strangers. Many girls are nice and don't want to offend so when you say can I accompany you to the mall, they say yes automatically. I do this too. The other day I was at the park at dusk, writing a poem and just reflecting on life and this guy comes up and starts a conversation. And I smile and chat. He asks me to walk around the duck pond and I just automatically get up and walk with him because my initial reaction is always to be polite and agree. Then while I was walking with him towards an area with lots of bushes and no people around, I started getting nervous. I thought holy crap I am completely at this guy's mercy. Then he's asking for my snapchat and my insta and my number and I had to make up a boyfriend because I felt like my saying I'm not interested would be too flimsy a reason and he'd push and push for my number. Then he's asking to hold my hand and I said absolutely not, he says what I'm not going to kiss you. Ugh I said that is not appropriate and basically had to leave immediately. So yeah girls just want to be nice, they're not always looking for something and especially not with someone who makes them feel nervous or like they have impure intentions.
Yes, this seems to be a good example of a guy not being genuinely interested in a woman. And little wonder that he failed to build comfort. One thing that Nofap might do for you is lower a raging, out-of-control, pornified libido to a healthier level, where a person can first simply interact with another person by exchanging a few smiles and some conversation.
Also, cafes are better than parks. I noticed a lovely lady come in today, circle around the cafe, check me out, then sit on the other side of the cafe. When a seat became available, I moved to a table next to her [genuine excuse, I wanted to use my laptop,, ha ha]. After a few minutes, I interrupted her with the 'You look busy'. We then just had the most normal conversation. After the initial surprise of a stranger striking up a conversation, she was all smiles. We chatted for half an hour. We organized a date for the following Saturday, and swapped numbers. People WANT to talk to others. Just be NORMAL people.
I'm disgusted by your story.
Your wording is misogynistic, you exerted pressure on her, you even felt good with this, you enjoyed your power, didn't leave her when she asked you,
so what you did was already a form of raping.
So why DIDN'T you?
If someone wants you to leave, that is when a normal human being LEAVES.
Maybe you're not though. A narcissist wouldn't leave.
It's good to approach women, it is.
WE get nervous TOO, you know.
I don't know why some guys seem to think we don't or that we have it easier WE DON'T.
Keep practising approaching, but for the love of, if someone wants you to leave, if they feel uncomfortable - it might not even be YOU, how do you know she's NOT for e.g. a rape victim who feels uncomfortable when approached, she could have social anxiety, there are reasons that she may have wanted to have been left alone. Yes she MAY have a boyfriend and not want to cheat on him. I've had that before, when I've had a boyfriend, guys flirt and I like it but of course I try to discourage it, as I'm faithful in relationships. Anyway, my words are probably falling on deaf ears. I guess i'm not the only one who sometimes strikes out with the opposite sex. But it's ok, you know? Keep trying, but not with the same person, it's not fair on them.
Maybe someone else will learn something from my reply. At least you had the guts to approach, me I rarely have the guts to approach a guy I find attractive, but a HUGE part of that is social conditioning that women shouldn't approach. BTW sometimes we smile at you cos we are attracted, other times we are in a good mood and you just happen to be in our range of vision or we are people who just naturally are smiley. I am sometimes just naturally smiley to people. Sometimes, it scares them!
I might try this on a cute guy. Thing is, when I go to cafes, usually it's take away. This might work in a sit down cafe. Or not. I think it would be good for me to try this. Even if it comes out as a whisper!!
Hate to tell you this, sorry but I think BEING sexual people is possibly part of the reason we HAVE this addiction. I have a theory that most if not all Fapstronauts have higher than average sex drives. But anyway, apparently, male Fapstronauts (not sure if female Fapstronauts get this and I don't think we do) DO go through "flat-lines". Emotionally, sometimes they feel crap, but apparently the sex drive TEMPORARILY dies. It DOES come back, but during flat-lines, from what I've read, it dies for a bit. So, you have THAT to look forward to
You are wrong.
Many girls do not dare to say "fuck off", because they are scared.
They rather give hints or look for a way to get out of the situation.
You know why we are building women's shelter ?
Criminal statistic tells all.
Domestic assault is everywhere.
You are often physically stronger than us. That IS appealing, yet can also be intimidating and we don't WANT to provoke a physically stronger (& often but not always physically taller) than us person who could literally hurt us. I once overheard a guy arguing about shopping bags so I gave him a bag & said something like "Here, please justTAKE the freaking bag & stop talking about it" but afterwards I was physically shaking.
We are also socially conditioned - not as much as before, but it's still prevalent - to be passive & people-pleasers & not assert ourselves too much. Not so much as in the past, & not every woman goes through this, but traditionally, this is how women are raised and to be "lady-like."
I am a lot older than that girl, but I went to a karaoke bar and a guy put his hand on my back twice. I was REALLY uncomfortable, but nervous to tell him to stop. (Because of the two above mentioned issues.) So, instead I never went back there.
Yes, that's what you are trained to be. Be nice, "be a lady".
This is very common behaviour and I encourage you to work on yourself, because it makes you vulnerable for emotional blackmailing, and you tend to give lower priority to your own wishes and goals, while you tend to always help and please others, and give higher priority to the wishes of other persons.
Yes, it changes the cold approach to a warm approach. Actually, I just about never 'cold approach' a woman. Women will naturally let a guy know they are interested by putting themselves in the zone, or making eye contact, or sitting nearby, or circling, or whatever [this is all you have to do. If he is attracted and has the mojo, he will approach]. The guy, especially if he is on Nofap, picks up on this and responds. He has been given the green light so to speak. Once men are tuned to this, complete cold approach just seems silly, not to mention a waste of time a lot of the time.
Yes that's it, an experienced man is talking !
It's in fact a kind of friendly ping-pong game.
Both sides are always trying to throw the ball, such that the other one can hit & return it
They DON'T approach sighhhhh maybe NOBODY is into me :-(
Well, keep in mind that the vast majority of men are pretty hopeless. They will not approach [an P probably has a lot to do with that] or they just get drunk then hit on women in bars.
Try subtly signalling interest. If that doesn't work, then try an approach like ; 'Do you mind if I sit here? So, how is your day going?'