I wanted to post about this because it has some facets that appear to get confused for gaslighting. Your PA may be codependent more than you think he is manipulative. How do you know the difference? Is your PA controlling? Domineering men have a need to be right because they do not know themselves from within and they are threatened by differing points of view. If we are able to remain connected to ourselves and God, we are able to be wrong about something’s without being overly threatened. Domineering men have a need to be one up because in order to feel superior they must not be challenged. Their self esteem is so fragile that it cannot handle being questioned. Domineering men need to win because they need to be right. Winning is more than a game to controllers. The ways controlling men employ tactics ( not gaslighting ) to maintain power: Isolation— your friendship or outside activities may threaten him. He may demand that you come straight home from work. Verbal abuse—he may use anger in combination with other tactics to frighten you. He may resort to name calling or threats to make you feel vulnerable. Judgment—-he may be overly critical about your actions. Nothing you do will warrant his acceptance or affirmation. Withdrawal —-he may let you know that what you are doing is wrong. You will pay for it by his withdrawal. Spiritual abuse—he may use scripture to manipulate you into complying to his wishes. Taken from, Controlling People, Patricia Evans.