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Close to reaching goal, but headed for a fap relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by chiyu, Dec 13, 2017.

  1. I'm very close to my original goal of 100 days PMO-free. Like others who've made it this far, I've had to overcome various challenging temptations to get here. Some nights I thought I'd go bonkers with the urges! And yet, I somehow hung on and this last stretch has actually been generally easier than the early days.

    However, as I approach my goal-date, I'm finding myself fantasizing about how I'm going to 'celebrate' this personal achievement. How? By taking a look at some P just 'for fun'', and maybe even have a few PMO-sessions to 'reward myself', since, ya know, now I've proved that I can do the NoFap hardcore-mode challenge several months straight. I know this sounds idiotic, and yet the thoughts keep crossing my mind. I'm worried I'm about to undo all the good progress I've made. Any advice for how I should handle crossing this threshold a few days from now?
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2017
  2. Beamer

    Beamer Distinguished Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    Hi brother,
    Congratulations for your achievement ! :)
    I don't like saying it, but if you look forward to celebrate by "pmo ing" and "watching p for a reward" , you're still addicted. I read that on reddit in the link in my signature.
    I was thinking the same way, and i realize as long as you want to do that "as a reward", we're still addicted . It's lesser for me now, but i'm still addicted, i know i am.
    I only just have passed 50 days ofcourse, but it's the feeling that counts, not so much the days because it's different for everyone depending on the person and your pmo past.
    The p-induced strong pathways in your brain are not gone (like a format of a harddisk on a pc) , they are at sleep merely, and they are very easily revived by binging and edging to p again !
    So be careful and ask yourself if you really wanna do this ok ? All my best budy ! :)
     
    chiyu likes this.
  3. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Fight like Arturo Gatti to not break that great long streak!
     
    chiyu likes this.
  4. Good points, thanks I needed to hear that. I think you're right. In some ways, my addiction has eased up, for instance I haven't been automatically thinking about PMO almost daily like I used to, but the old patterns are still there, ready to be reawakened if I'm not careful. I guess in some ways I never thought I'd make it this far so now I've got mixed ideas about what to do next. Probably not a good mindset. I need to think about this and not be casual about it, since I really don't want to fall back into the same old behaviors. But damn it's amazing how those urges stick around, even if faded somewhat. Of course I was a serious PMO-addict for like 15 years so it kind of makes sense. Thanks for the insight and encouragement!
     
  5. RIGHT NOW IF YOU orgasm, it will just feel like your going pee, there will be no pleasure, or even a release feeling. I learned the hard way.
     
    Runtilmylegsdropoff likes this.
  6. The thing i'm learning with PMO is that you actually backtrack yourself if you edge. If you skimmed through pornography just for minute or two or touched yourself for a moment don't consider it a full relapse or a relapse at all, because you'll just feel like day 1 over and over again. However, your goal should be that as the addiction starts to wear down or off you should view even small glimpses as relapse because it's going to strengthen your resolve to stay away from it completely.
     
  7. WolandGreenEye

    WolandGreenEye Fapstronaut

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    If your life has improved,there is no reason in returning to that old habit.Will a fap session bring you any good after 100 days of abstinence?I don't think so...It's just a waste of time that can be spent in a much more useful way.
     
    chiyu likes this.
  8. newdawn(10-17)

    newdawn(10-17) Fapstronaut

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    congrats on reaching that milestone,but if still your brain is recommending a "reward" inform of porn,bro watch out and dont give in to those desires,remember your aim was to stop porn,unless it was for short time
     
  9. Yeah actually I wasn't really sure what my aim was, except to do a reset and see what I might learn from it. After failing so bad my first 4-5 tries, maybe I never expected I could make it this far. I feel like I've gained alot of perspective and have re-normalized alot of my thought processes and attitudes.

    Still you're right, I'm worried about this part of me that must still see P as a harmless diversion. I know this is irrational, all I have to do is think back on how far I sank over the years of escalating dependence. I think I need to keep away from it for some more time still as I reflect on this. Thanks for telling me what I needed to hear.
     

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