Chronic Relapsing due to Loneliness

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by BigDawg913, Dec 25, 2018.

  1. BigDawg913

    BigDawg913 Fapstronaut

    I've been in NoFap for over a year now and the longest streak I've ever been able to put together was 62 days. Right now I'm just shy of 6 days and am having urges to PMO.

    I think the reason I have such a hard time sticking to the reboot is because deep down I have feelings that I'll never find a girl, and that porn is really all that I have when it comes to indulging in my sexual desires. Has anyone else experienced these feelings, and if so were you able to work through them and get a girlfriend?
     
  2. I sometimes feel like that too, it is one of the reasons I started booking escorts, I feel I will never find a girlfriend, but we can't let these dark thoughts cloud our judgement, we are fully capable of doing it, but sometimes it feels overwhelming and I seem to indulge in similar depressive feelings.
     
    BigDawg913 likes this.
  3. Capt. U

    Capt. U Fapstronaut

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    Yo man I been there,

    My new year's resolution for 2018 was to simply get laid and I thankfully suceeded. My goal was to simply to get laid but in being promiscuous I was able to find real love for awhile. While this might not be the best advice, I started dating on the apps and eventually started to gain more "game" to the point that I felt more comfortable in having conversations.
    Once you get a good conversation going just ask them out and proceed to go on a date and have fun.
     
    BigDawg913 likes this.
  4. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Have you made it a priority? Would you be able to say that you've committed 100% and have done everything that you can to make it happen?

    What most people really mean when they say "I'll never find a girl" is that it hasn't randomly happened while waiting around doing nothing about it yet. They feel lonely and numb those feelings with habits of escapism. Then they wonder why it hasn't happened yet. They become trapped in a loop of lonely -> escape the problem -> problem of lonely is still there -> escape the problem. Rather than actually focusing on the problem.

    If you were focusing on solving the problem, you wouldn't be concerned with relapsing and loneliness because you would be too busy figuring out where to meet people, how to have better interactions, what areas you can approve in, etc. You would be too busy making mistakes, failing, getting rejected, challenging your comfort zones / incompetence / insecurities, and gaining experience. Being lonely is for those that sit at home not doing anything about the problems of their life and thus dwelling on how much of a victim they are.

    It's a lot easier to stay lonely. You get the reward of staying in an easy, certain, and instantly gratifying loop of escapism. When you're growing, reaching beyond your current place, doing something that might not work, and facing adversities... you would feel a lot of things.... but lonely is not one of them.

    It's a lot better to feel dissatisfied, angry, and suffering than it is to feel lonely and numb. When you allow yourself to leave the routine comforts and distractions to actually feel your suffering and face your problems, you're allowing yourself the chance to grow.
     
  5. BigDawg913

    BigDawg913 Fapstronaut

    Damn. That hurt but you're right. Thanks.
     
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  6. kelvin_ndmn

    kelvin_ndmn Fapstronaut

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    I am exactly in the same situation and having the same feeling... Deep depression and internal sexual energy burning... But i don't want to give up... because i already PMO for 15 years... what is the point of using it to please the damn brain again... Let the brain suck this pain because of its own addiction, and keep going on the harsh journey...
     
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  7. Exactly. PMO is bad for your self-esteem.

    Better to be a celibate, monklike badass than to self-harm with a crappy porn habit.
     
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