Catholic / Orthodox Fapstronauts

Just found an old notebook while cleaning out my room and such. The notebook was a rude awakening for me at how horribly plain I was living two lives.
See, last year especially, I got into cool calligraphy (fancy handwriting and stuff) and I'd write my friend's names and whatnot with all kinds of epic designs and patterns around them.

In this notebook, however, I found multiple occasions where I would make a really cool design reminding me of who God is to me. And then, on the very next page, I had the calligraphy names of girls I was trying to impress online and on messengers. I was treating my addiction the same way I was treating God.

That's how we are, gentlemen. When we choose to serve two masters, it's like buying a bouquet of flowers for a girl for a dance, and giving half of the flowers to someone else. You're "all about" the girl you're taking to the dance. But you still bought flowers to woo the other girl. Why? Why not give it all to the God who deserves it all?

I dunno. It's just something that crossed my mind. It struck me pretty hard, seeing how each page alternated between God/Worship Song Art, and lust/all of that junk. A very big realization to my dual nature. Don't let yourselves treat The Lord, Your God that way!

Press onwards, my brothers!!!

 

Great story @Denton , and I'm glad you came to that realization.

 

Hello Br. Leo:

It's wonderfully comforting to know that there's a forum on this site that speaks the language of the Faith I've struggled mightily with sins of this nature since my early teens. I have full confidence that it will save not only my own soul but countless others at the end of their tether who look to Our Lord and Our Lady to help purify their minds, hearts & souls.

As it happens, my Parish Young Adults (20s-30s) group is having a Rosary & Vespers service tonight. I shall certainly lift this forum up in prayer.

Yours in Christ,
Stephen, aka processman15

 

Welcome Stephen! I'm glad you're here. Be sure to read through the thread if you have not already! And you can invite other users if you like.

 

Welcome, Stephen!

 

My school has just been commissioned with a shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe. I am saying a novena to her along with other students, so I just want to know that you have lots of prayers headed your way, Fapstronauts! We will beat our addictions by focusing our eyes on Christ and the reality of his desire that we be pure.

 

Πάτερ ἡμῶν ὁ ἐν τοῖς οὐρανοῖς·
ἁγιασθήτω τὸ ὄνομά σου·
ἐλθέτω ἡ βασιλεία σου·
γενηθήτω τὸ θέλημά σου,·
ὡς ἐν οὐρανῷ καὶ ἐπὶ γῆς·
τὸν ἄρτον ἡμῶν τὸν ἐπιούσιον δὸς ἡμῖν σήμερον·
καὶ ἄφες ἡμῖν τὰ ὀφειλήματα ἡμῶν,
ὡς καὶ ἡμεῖς ἀφήκαμεν τοῖς ὀφειλέταις ἡμῶν·
καὶ μὴ εἰσενέγκῃς ἡμᾶς εἰς πειρασμόν,
ἀλλὰ ῥῦσαι ἡμᾶς ἀπὸ τοῦ πονηροῦ.

Transliteration:
Pater imon o en tis ouranis
agiasthito to onoma su.
Eltheto i Basileia su,
genethito to thelima su,
os en ourano kai epi gis.
Ton arton imon ton epiousion dos imin simeron,
kai aphes imin ta ophelimata imon,
os kai imeis aphikamen tis opheletais imon.
Kai mi eisenegkis eis peirasmon,
alla risai imas apo tu poniroi.

Note that (unfortunately) this does not include the "For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power..." etc. I couldn't find a Greek version that had the ending included. Probably because it's traditionally done by a priest.

 

Hey guys, I posted this under Self Improvement but I know you guys'll have my back too.

My girlfriend and I are both 18, and believers in Messiah, and we want to maintain sexual purity until marriage. The main reason I started NoFap was because I realized that my brain started attributing physical action with affection, and that's simply not the case. We kept pushing boundaries, going further and further until finally I realized that it's PMO causing it.

But we still need to know, I need to know, how does one stay pure when your libido is increasing from lack of PMO, and your brain's focus on physical action is still there? I know that this isn't exactly an abstinence forum. But there's got to be SOMEONE out there that can help us. With a rising drive, what actions need to be taken?

 

thank you guys for creating this thread!
I am also Catholic but I need more help in my faith. I will read the comments and stuff that you have here... hopefully I can get some advice and ideas to fight against this sin of M that has been bothering me for years...
Pray for me if you can...
blessings...

 

Hi @Denton !!!
I recommend you to think more of what do YOU want. Do you REALLY want to be pure until marriage? Then try your best and keep that ideal on your mind... Try to talk with your girlfriend and be honest to each other... you two can put some some boundaries.... and is better you two know them so if one of you tries to cross that line... the other can say it and remember the boundary to the other one. It is good that you both have this ideal. If you want you can make a team and help each other. It would be easier for you both!

I hope this helps... (and sorry if I mispelled something.... English is not my first language...)

All the best!!

 

Very good advice @tiro , and welcome to the forum. We will pray for you.

@Denton , this actually is basically an abstinence forum! To answer your question, your very phrase "sexual purity until marriage" seems to be telling. Sexual purity is supposed to remain during marriage too! Sure, you know this already, but your word choice seems to imply a belief that you need to NOT do certain forbidden things until marriage in order to be pure. Rather, being sexually inactive is a gift from God, and a chance for great graces and growth. Purity/Chastity is more about what you DO do than what you don't do. So you must learn to love her in a way without lust. Getting rid of PMO will help remove lust from your heart. Yes, like you said, your libido will temporarily be high. But it will be worth the investment.

 

@headedup I'm not sure that this is purely an abstinence forum. When @Denton said "sexual purity until marriage" I think he meant waiting to engage in sex until marriage. Some of us are trying to deal with PMO issues specifically, and don't feel that sex (within marriage) is something we need to abstain from (I'm not speaking of myself, as I'm not married). Obviously, sexual purity continues after marriage, but it looks a little bit different when you have entered into that covenant. I do agree with the second half of your post, though, and I think it's well taken. Love is an active thing, not a passive thing.

 

I'm out of the flow of discussion, but wanted to introduce myself. I'm Orthodox, but I went to a very conservative Roman Catholic College. I MOed from middle school through high school, and periodically since. Occasionally I binge on PMO. It makes me feel terrible. I just had a bad relapse.

I just found the Canon to the Guardian Angel, in the blue Holy Trinity Monastery prayerbook. The prayers seem to be written with "the sins of the flesh' specifically in mind, and it also address the spiritual warfare aspect of PMO.

I find it's really important to just go to confession, even if you don't feel that repentant. Obviously, take it seriously, but if you have an addiction or chronic weakness, the only way to get over it is by the Grace of God. Sometimes I put it off because I'm ashamed, or am afraid I'll do it again, or whatever, but the best thing to do is to just get it out with Confession, and then receive Holy Communion. Even if you can't get to Confession, go to church.

Listen to what your confessor tells you personally, but what I always get is "Don't fight the thoughts/temptations, because that's engaging with them." Ignore the thoughts. I also get "Don't let the thoughts or M make you feel bad about yourself, or despair." The evil one temps us with our weaknesses, then when we give in, he throws the sin at us and tells us how horrible we are. God loves you. Pick yourself up and go on.

One thing I noticed about P is that there is so often blasphemy. Not just words, but in images and things.

P.S. There are some Orthodox Christians who say the Rosary. It's not "standard", but not unheard of either.

 

@Ze'ev , I didn't mean to say that this is purely an abstinence forum, that's why I said "basically." I just meant that the majority of users are doing hard mode. I knew that Denton meant waiting for sex until marriage. I was just pointing out what he may or may not have implied: a subtle attitude that chastity means a lack/restraint of sexual activity. Chastity is instead for married people too, and means being sexual according to God's intentions. I also didn't intend to say that anyone morally ought to abstain from sex in marriage. I was just again referring to the common engagement in hard mode.

Welcome @InTheWilderness ! I hope you are well, and we are glad to have you here. You will get better as you go along, don't worry too much about the relapse!

 

Fair enough. I was unclear.

 

Didn't there used to be a Catholic group? Can we get one again?




DAILY INSPIRATION
The best teams master the basics; the ingenious plays come after. In the spiritual life, you should focus on mastering the basics. Daily prayer, spiritual reading, regular confession and receiving the Eucharist

 

darknight, This is mostly a Catholic group. I suggested to Leo that we make it Orthodox as well, in case any Orthodox fapstronauts want a place to share the struggle (we tend to be too few in number to sustain separate groups on internet forums). I'm currently the only Orthodox poster in this thread, but I know I certainly benefit from the dialogue.

 

Catholic/orthodox is cool but I thought there was a group months back as opposed to just a thread. Seems like the catholic group is gone now but it would nice to get a group for catholic/orthodox to have various threads.

 

Oh, are groups a separate feature on the site? I wasn't aware. In that case, that would be cool.

Edit: Actually, looking at the set-up, it doesn't look like it would be too hard to start a group based off this thread. I might just go ahead and do that. I'll make sure everyone gets the links.

Further Edit: Looks like the groups aren't fully implemented yet. When they are, we should see about making one.

Also, Blessed Feast of the Ascension (yesterday in the Orthodox calendar)

 

I do see our miscommunication here, but I also see the very important point that you made! I definitely understand that sexual purity continues on after marriage. It's just that I was more referring to abstinence. (And NoFap isn't NoSex, but most people choose to go that route.) But I really like your point there. Sexual purity is not about what you Don't do, but what you Do. Similar to how the Mosaic Law promoted legalistic attitudes (I haven't murdered, I haven't stolen, I haven't committed adultery with another person, look how righteous I am!), while Yeshua/Jesus looked at the heart.


I haven't murdered!... But have you hated anybody?
I haven't stolen anything!... But have you kept money from your father and your mother?
I haven't committed adultery!... But have you lusted after anyone?
Just because you don't go all of the way doesn't mean you're pure. That's a good, good thing to realize.

Often times it's the sins you can't see that take the longest to get ahold of. That's why Jesus comes to live on the inside of you, and THEN your actions change. It's not about changing your actions so that you change on the inside, it's about allowing Jesus to change you on the inside, and your actions will change soon after.