Cat person

Seems like a PA to me.
And a 20 year old, of course... Isn't going to know what to do with that

 

I actually heard recently that lots of anxiety around teenagers having sex was that they were (boys) watching porn and when put in real life situations with girls couldn't figure it out how to get to the "money shot" where they finished.
It was a huge stress.
Many teen boys were having DE because of this.
I was like... This is a thing?
They think That is how sex ends.
It's unrealistic.
But. It' wwhat they are "taught"

 

My daughter is a teenager now and I fear for her.
Because, reality is what is going to happen when she is with someone?
No talking goes on in porn.
The "money shot" is expected.
So how do you get "up a whole body length" of a person?
Teen boys can't figure it out, apparently.
And stres sstress stress!!!
How stressful!
Have you read the dating threads?
They don't know what they are doing!
Of all the fetishes and strange things out there...
Kamasutra wasn't a thing anyone cared to even fathom!
No intimacy, or kissing...
Your story makes some good points.
Nobody has connections anymore and when they do, they are scaring the crap out of each other or making each other feel completely dead inside.
Most people just use each other these days because nobody wants real connections anymore.
I wonder how many people actually know how?
Maybe it starts that young?
Idk.
Maybe that's the Real zombie apocalypse.

 

True enough. Internet and social media have given us the ability to reach ever farther yet equally more superficially. I seriously doubt anyone will be on their death bed wishing they had sent one more Snapchat or posted that one photo on instagram. And I hope PAs won't just be seeking that final fap to _____. What have we become? Hopefully enough of us will hold up a mirror to the sad disconnected state we've achieved and reverse this while there's still hope and we haven't descended entirely into an apathetic stupor. Zombies indeed.

 

@AverageBear thanks for posting a link to this story. Apparently this story has gone "viral" but I had no knowledge of it prior to you mentioning it.

I found the story very thought provoking. More so than PMO I see Robert as someone who has been influenced by "pickup" culture. I see him as someone who has "struck" out with women using his own techniques and has taken to getting advice from the internet in order to "pull" women. This would explain (at least to me) some of his actions. The techniques he used when texting her ("let her pursue you"), attempting to "playfully" make fun of her on the date, etc. The frustrating thing for me as the reader was that these techniques seemed to work.

When it came to the actual date I can picture him again turning to the internet on how to act, especially with the sex part. "If she comes back to your place it's on, women don't like boring sex, women like dirty talk, women like men to be dominant, women like it rough" It seemed to me like he was "testing the waters" with a lot of the ideas he was given to see how she would react.

I agree with @Pornscars that both characters were flawed. My big issue with the Robert aside from the end of the text exchange was why was he pursuing someone so much younger? 14 years is too large of an age difference in my opinion.
I found Margot frustrating in that she seemed to be making fun of his inexperience. She also seemed to have her own expectations about how the sex could go perhaps influenced by P. She seems surprised by the look of his body even though she can see he has a "belly". She thinks that the way he responds to her touch is not "manly". She seems disappointed with the size of his "equipment". I think it's easier to look past her actions because she is only 20 years old.

The larger issue of the story [which I learned about from reading some of the commentaries about the story] that many women (sadly) are able to identify with is the idea of sexual consent. Margot feels like she can't say no to sex after events progress to a certain point. The unequal physical dynamics come into play when she feels that she should just "get through it" rather than risk how Robert may react to her rejection.

So what can men do? I think this is a situation where men have to do more than what would be expected if there was a level playing field between men and women concerning physical sexual safety. If women weren't raped or sexually harassed or fear that these thing could happen to then it would be much more reasonable to expect that they should just "speak up" if than did not want to engage in a sexual situation. Until the day when we live in such a world the burden of establishing consent must fall more so on men's shoulders. Men need to do all they can to be sure that women are comfortable saying no and look for any signs that the women is not fully engaged in the sexual encounter.

 

Sorry for the long post, skip to the end for my thoughts on the story.

I can relate to this story. Me and a girl got in touch through a WhatsApp group(for Harry Potter fans) we were part of. For context, we're both 20 years old. She was a friend of a friend, but I had never met her. She was from my college, but we were doing different courses and had never met one another. We kept in touch via texting for months (yeah, months, we're both doctor who fans and share a lot of interests, so we had a lot to talk about) then eventually we decided to meet up. I had already been on NoFap for almost a month or so by then.
I liked her, and wanted to impress her. I'm usually very social awkward. So I looked up online what to do to. Some of the videos I watched said Kino escalation was essential to get a girl to like you. Kino escalation is basically warming up a girl to your touch so something like a kiss isn't very sudden or awkward. I thought that made sense. So I decided to try it.
When we met, I was very touchy with her. Too much, in fact. She was very uncomfortable, but I didn't pick up on it. We spoke for a few hours and then left. Then she kept giving me excuse for meeting up again. Next few times we met, was with her friends. She didn't want to meet me by herself. I never picked up on that though.
The only reason I even know this, is she finally decided to tell me today. All this happened months ago. She also has social anxiety, and she had no idea what to do that day. And I was unable to read that I was making her very uncomfortable. Thanks to my PMO addiction I never learnt how to interact with girls, and trying to learn now, I'm making such huge mistakes. For months now, I thought our first meeting went very well... I was so wrong, and so stupid
She told me today, she preferred the version of me she got to know via texting, rather than the real me, at least in the context of that meeting. Cause I suddenly seemed like a very different person. I don't think it's at all possible to get to know someone via texting or social media, you need to meet them in person. My perspective of her changed too once I actually met her. I felt less intimidated, knowing she was just another person and had her own flaws too. I had imagined a perfect person in my head.

The timing of this story being posted is kinda crazy tbh. I do think Robert is a PMO addict, it would go a long way to explain his awkwardness and inability to pick up on social cues. I totally get why there was such a big miscommunication between the two of them.

 

Holy crap. Thank you for sharing that story. It really resonated with me. My college dating experience was very much like the story in the way of not wanting to hurt a guys feelings, going through with sexual encounters I felt I couldn't say no to because things had already started, if I didn't text back get called names, etc.

That story was very sad, and I assume a pretty accurate depiction of what hookups are like these days. Both characters had their flaws and issues, but it was just so sad to see both of them come together and have such communication issues. The disconnection and superficiality was very depressing to read. I really loved the story because of how thought provoking it was.

 

Yeah and yo ccan talk to people you also have no real chemistry with.
No heat.
And if you go in having these expectations... It's guaranteed to fail

 

The author explains in this
https://www.newyorker.com/books/this-week-in-fiction/fiction-this-week-kristen-roupenian-2017-12-11

 

This thread for someone like me was good motivation and refreshing I was always trying to rush sex and get it from somewhere the last time I actually had a positive experience is from a girl I knew from college we were friends at the time but our relationship was strange because she was dating my good friend and it was weird af at one time her and my friend suggested me and him have sex with her I wasn't really with it but went along because I was so thirsty for it but it didn't really go anywhere I'm not going to describe what happened but no actual sexual intercouse took place but this is a year before we messed around and she was dating him but the one time we did start hooking up it felt very weird because I deep down I knew that she wasn't really that fun of a person to be around and she would always talk about her life problems and how the world was against her and would never be all that positive but back then I was like 22 and never had sex and still barley had any now at 28 but there were times she would just be talking and I would just try to get her to talk less and hookup the funny thing is I stopped hanging out with her because I just didn't vibe with her really on a deeper level one and also she was hooking up with a kid we knew in our circle of friends at school before me and after I stopped going with her to get lunch or hang out she went back to him and my ego was crushed but back then I realize now we were just using each other to not feel lonely and I had one other experience after that one the same yr and became fearful of not being able to have good sex with women and then my pmo skyrocketed from then on up until now sex is truly a sacred thing and I want to share it with the right person I want to know that if I felt vulnerable with this person it was gonna feel real and as a guy I thought these emotions were something I should be ashamed or are not masculine traits men should be able to have as many partners as they want you should have had done this by now but all that is bullshit and the brainwashing from society now I fully happy with abstaining until it is going to be with someone I kind share my soul with wow I rambled lol

 

Me too. Its very scary.