Castration fantasies

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by LTLThrowaway93, May 8, 2019.

  1. LTLThrowaway93

    LTLThrowaway93 Fapstronaut

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    I hate my libido. I want to get rid of it.
    I feel like a disgusting pervert for looking at women in public. I get concerned about Schrodinger's rapist, the women in my life afraid of doing certain things, and how I'd rather leave women alone than make them feel uncomfortable in public.
    I'm constantly in flatline now, lacking motivation to work out, study, or be social. I get really depressed for long periods of time, and pick up the pieces later. I also have constant anxiety that no medication has calmed down.
    My counselor recommends I just go back to porn, sees it as healthy.
    I used porn to calm down my libido so I could feel normal. Now I don't feel like I can control it, and just want it gone.
    I keep thinking about getting a chemical castration. I feel like I'd be able to relax and focus without a sex drive.

    I know this is wrong, but It's getting harder for me to say why.
     
  2. A_long_wayTOgo

    A_long_wayTOgo Fapstronaut

    Hi there.
    I reccomend you to visit a psychiatrist and to talk about this. Maybe he/she can help you out.
    Better don't do it. You are just 26 and have so many changes in life to make it great.
    When you get a girlfriend and want kids life can become great.
     
  3. LTLThrowaway93

    LTLThrowaway93 Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately all psychiatrists in my area are not accepting new patients, and have told me to check back within 2-3 months or be put on a waiting list for 4-6 months.

    And I don't forsee any of that happening. Lovely fantasy, but let's be realistic.
     
  4. A_long_wayTOgo

    A_long_wayTOgo Fapstronaut

    Ah ok.. Stay strong till then.. Don't turn to chemical castration as you will never be able to have seks(again idk).
     
  5. Cuauhtli

    Cuauhtli Fapstronaut

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    From what I read, chemical castration was simply brutal on the body. U deserve better pal!
     
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  6. LTLThrowaway93

    LTLThrowaway93 Fapstronaut

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    They can have se(ks). They're just not constantly bothered by lust and desires.

    I constantly feel like a pervert. I hate the constant fear of making women feel unsafe, and it's been an issue for years. I hate the constant anxiety, depression, and self-loathing I have whenever I get a good Nofap streak. I hate how many years I wasted on porn, how many times I relapsed, and how I justified throwing away opportunities to chase a boner. And nothing I do solves it, including exercise, finding a hobby, spirituality, eating healthy, sleep schedules, cold showers, and taking classes to find a new job.

    How I've acted on sexual desires over the years has been so damaging, I'd rather get rid of them and just focus on something else.
     
  7. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    I would strongly recommend you don't get chemically castrated. Also you should probably find a new counselor if you can
     
  8. Infinite spirit

    Infinite spirit Fapstronaut

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    Almost every normal guy will look at a hot girl passing by...surprise.!!. You are not A pervert..unless you keep staring and following her!.
    It's not. You should find another counselor who has a brain. Porn is a huge reason why you might view women with sexual filters.
    It's normal and "good" to have libido. Do you like how you feel after you fap to porn and end up with no libido.. sad..depressed..??
    I know you are just joking or whatever.
    You know better. Good luck.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2019
  9. LTLThrowaway93

    LTLThrowaway93 Fapstronaut

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    I am. I feel as though I make every woman uncomfortable by looking at them. I read so many articles about how they feel unsafe in society, how they fear being raped and killed by men, and I know I'm not helping matters by looking.
    Even then, by who's standards is "looking" okay? Mine, or the woman I'm creeping out?

    I've tried, but other counselors in the area are the same way. I've also called all the psychiatric services in my area, nothing is available.

    I wasn't sad or depressed at the lack of libido. That was great. I was sad at the lack of motivation to do other things.
    When I'm on porn, I'm unmotivated. When I'm off porn, I can't focus and constantly think about sex. I hate it.

    I'm not. I'm researching hospitals that will do it and starting up a small savings for it. I figure I may as well ask nofap about it, though.

    As I said, it's getting harder for me not to justify it.
     
  10. DekuHope

    DekuHope Fapstronaut

    Do it take the easy way if you want to live a life not worth living. What if your depression gets worse will ypu kill yourself you piece of s. THIS IS ABOUT TAKING THE DIFFICULT WAY. What are you afraid of ? Pain ?! Pain will come anyway. Accept the pain and chose! Chemical castration do you even knowwhat the hell you are talking about ?
    Stop complaining and grow the fuck up. Take some responsibility, instead of taking the easy way out.
     
  11. LTLThrowaway93

    LTLThrowaway93 Fapstronaut

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    Calling someone a "piece of s" and ALL CAPS didn't really convince me you're someone worth listening to.
    Maybe try having an argument for the situation rather than yell people to "grow the fuck up."
     
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  12. Infinite spirit

    Infinite spirit Fapstronaut

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    You are overcomplicating it. I told you every man looks at hot girls in public. This is natural instinct .however..you just be a gentleman and just move on instead of gooning like an animal.
    Keep searching until you find one. And don't listen to that pornhead tard .
    Maybe you need to get a girlfriend.
    Dude..this is not something to miss with..please be mindful .
    Don't you want to have a wife and kids??
     
  13. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    I found a psychologist that understands that porn addiction is an issue for me and is working with me to overcome the addiction. They are out there.

    You don't need to find a counselor who thinks porn is bad. You just need to find one who understands you behaviors with porn are addictive and that you need to move away from it.

    Best of luck to you.
     
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  14. DekuHope

    DekuHope Fapstronaut

    Well let me explain this for you. Would you cut off your arm because its broken and needs to heal ? No you wouldnt. Thid is something mentally. You can get through this. There is no argument that I saw in your text that is "important" or heavy enough to do this. As long as you dont rape, abuse or become a pedophile I dont see a valuable reason. If you are afraid that any or those things can happen then you should rather look for a organisation that deals with people that got special sexual anxieties. Sorry for harsh on you but dude... what if you get over with this shit.... your dick will be useless. There is no reason to make such a drastic decision that will change your life till the end. What if you will find someone... you wont be able to have a sexual relationship that will satisfy you.... sex is also meant to express love.... dont think about such stupid thoughts like castration. Deal with your problems by finding a solution to cause but not by destroying the way the problem appears
     
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  15. LTLThrowaway93

    LTLThrowaway93 Fapstronaut

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    And women are afraid in public spaces.
    Buzzfeed wrote about the 29 things women fear doing for safety, and it includes eye contact, smiling, and talking to men.
    British GQ had an article about a woman afraid of men in the era of #MeToo.
    Medium wrote a #MeToo guide to staring, and it included this gem.

    "When I see any women walking down the street, avoiding all eye contact, I feel a deep sense of empathy. As men, we need to be asking ourselves, what kind of world makes this necessary? That millions of human beings, proven, beyond a doubt, by neuroscience, sociology, and anthropology, to be highly social creatures, have ample reason to intentionally avoid looking at us."

    I'm not willing to look for a second when women don't feel safe.

    (PS. Can't post links despite meeting all requirements)

    Great idea in theory. But since I fear creeping women out, I avoid women. And that, too, creeps women out even more.


    Castration doesn't mean not ever having a family. It means no sexual thoughts. Adoption and Strap ons.
     
  16. LTLThrowaway93

    LTLThrowaway93 Fapstronaut

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    Hopefully in finding a psychiatrist I'lI find someone. But it'll take about 4-6 months.
    Since posting, I called every psychiatric service in town and got that or nothing.
     
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  17. LTLThrowaway93

    LTLThrowaway93 Fapstronaut

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    What arguments are heavy enough? I used rape and under 18 porn prior to noFap.
    And on my dick being useless. I don't care if it's useless. I'd rather it be useless than to continue constantly wanting sex, getting depressed and anxious no matter what I do/don't do.
    And I'd rather express love through other means. If someone wants sex, can I not use paraphilia and connect with that?
     
  18. LTLThrowaway93

    LTLThrowaway93 Fapstronaut

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    Because I fear harming women.
    I used a lot of bad porn, and feel awful about it. A lot of it involved harm to women. I no longer want to harm women, and fear all the things I could be doing that harms women.
    After #MeToo I got terrified of what I could do in my everyday that makes women uncomfortable.
     
  19. Infinite spirit

    Infinite spirit Fapstronaut

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    So what?!..just stop now and promise yourself you won't go back to it. No need to get rid of your balls as if it will change the past.
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  20. DekuHope

    DekuHope Fapstronaut

    Well.... if you see yourself as a potential paedophile raping children.... you should talk with your a psychologist.
     

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